feelings on porn

[lollypop77]

Just wanted other peoples opinions on if they are ok with there partners/husbands watching porn regular ..do you get worried or wonder why they have the need to ??

Dizzy and Lucy what did you think of the documentary Hardcore? It's available on youtube.

Why on earth would feelings about the 'ethics or morals' of porn come under a different thread or discussion from 'feelings about porn'?
Bizarre.

fuckyouchrisandthathorse

I'm only answering your questions because I think you are being unfair and offensive. I have made NO assumptions about you. But you are constantly making assumptions about me. and you really need to GET A GRIP. I know nothing about the workings of your brain, or what you are into sexually, and what you think about sexually - and I don't want to know. The fact you are so obsessed with other people's comments on the matter in such a personal way makes me feel a bit odd about you.

but I won't judge like you are to me...

rape porn - never come accross it with him as I don't discuss it with him, he's probably into bondage and the like as he's a bit that way anyway, he doesn't seem like the type who would be into a woman being treated that way at all - as a fantasy or not. So I can't expect the situation coming up.

You haven't responded to how you feel about watching actual rape dressed up as consensual. Again it jars that you are hurt by the idea of "pretend" rape, but ok with the possibility that you have viewed real rapes for your own pleasure.

I don't recall stating I was hurt by pretend rape.. I just don't agree with it, and don't think my partner would either. As I said. I don't think he has that kind of attitude towards women. and if ANY man did, porn related or not, it would be an issue for ANY sensible woman

Would you ask your partner if he fantasised about rape even if he didn't watch porn? Probably not no. IF you do, you're more intrustive and strange than I thought.

Gay porn - don't see any issues with this? My partner isn't gay as far as I know - if he was the porn would be the least of my issues lol. But if he likes a bit of man on man action then so be it. It's for some reason seen a lot more taboo than two women together.

Your going beyond the subject of porn when you are asking someone if they agree with rape, bestiality and such things. A person can be into such things without the porn.

Of course I can enjoy it without discussing the morals with a bunch of strangers, my partner enjoys eating meat, I don't constantly discuss the morals and ethics of meat production and animal welfare..etc

And I think I've done more than enough to answer your intrusive comments now :) hope you feel that way too.

Thankyou DizzyMidget I believe you answered my question lol I think it all got a bit carried away ... I dont judge him or find it wrong I was just curious ov other views I just wanted to try and understand it more... most of wat he has watched is just titillation he watched it from a young age I can see why sum people have strong views but we watch certain young girls in the music industry there is always sumone being exploited were do we draw the line ? Thankyou for all your views ...

I've had a conversation with someone who watches it regularly and is firmly of the opinion that the actors involved are there out of their own choice and are enjoying it, that they must be or they wouldn't do it. Refuses to countenance the idea that there is any situation where he could be watching porn where people are on drugs, being raped, being forced into appearing in it, and claims that there is always a choice about whether to do it. How do I argue this? He says he'd be able to tell if they weren't enjoying it. My point was, they're 'acting', and presumably the point is that you can't tell how they're feeling because otherwise they wouldn't get paid. Is there any way to change that opinion, or is he just trying to convince himself that everyone is happy to do it so he won't have to think about it?

JohnFarleyRuskin

Why on earth would feelings about the 'ethics or morals' of porn come under a different thread or discussion from 'feelings about porn'?
Bizarre.

Because she asked how we would feel about our partner watching it. Yes fair enough saying you don't agree with it morally.

But when all you keyboard warriors are attacking each person who states they like porn and asking them to get into the nitty gritty of why, how and what bits they like and if they agree with rape and bestiality, you are crossing a line and past the subject of what the OP asked about.

My opinion. And I haven't attacked anyone else for theirs. Simply defended myself :)

Lollypop

Glad you got something out of it! I had an idea you didn't think it would turn into what it did when you started it. Just a hunch!

Hope you both have a happy relationship xx

Dizzy has made it abundantly clear that as long as her and her DH get their jollies she doesn't give a flying fuck about the ethics of porn.
She's so cool.

Dizzy, you missed out the bit about real rape in "ordinary" porn.

Which is the real issue.

All the things I've mentioned (bestiality etc) are types of porn too. Just because you don't want them to be associated with the things you like doesn't mean it's not the same industry.

Lollypop I draw the line at all exploitation. Dancing around in next to nothing is exploitation, it shouldn't happen, but this is about porn, and the rape and abuse in porn is a reason not to watch it.

As others have said, "not all porn", but it's impossible to tell the difference. Would I risk it, knowing that? No. I wouldn't.

But Dizzy, the reason I wouldn't want dh to watch porn is because of the ethics of porn :o

Eh, she asked how we felt about our partners watching it - so many people would be unhappy with their partners watching it because they would be uncomfortable with their partners supporting such an unethical, unregulated misogynistic industry which has negative repercussions on women in society. Is that not an acceptable answer?

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse

The REAL ISSUE in this conversation was what lollipop asked. And as she has stated, she was happy with the answer I gave.

I was here to answer her issue with her partner.

Not be quizzed by you based on your opinions of the porn industry...

You're a very intrusive and judgemental person who will keep the same opinion and try to force others into your way of thinking through force. And not something I fancy dealing with.

You keep your opinions (to yourself, as I won't be responding to them any longer) And I'll keep mine to the minimal like I expected lollipop wanted to read about.

Like I said - you want a long debate on the porn industry, create your own thread for people to be attacked and judged individually by you, instead of those just out to give advice to another poster.

So if I said I didn't like it because I'm jealous, that's a valid reason? But if I don't like it because it is supporting an industry that abuses people, and I don't want to accidentally watch or support rape, I'm all judgy?

Amazing.

That is funny.

JohnFarleysRuskin

OF course it is an acceptable answer :) I don't mind anyone's opinions opposing porn.

What i DO mind is being questioned and interrogated by people asking deeply personal (And somewhat sick) questions about my partner as a means of attack or to prove a point.

I've been as civil as I can be

But now you're both just getting on my tits.

Lollipop has been helped. So that's great. :) And that's all I came to contribute to.

They weren't sick. You said you were fine with your oh watching porn, I asked if that meant any porn. You clarified that lots of porn is disgusting and morally wrong.

I have not called you or your oh anything, I can understand how the questions have made you uncomfortable as you don't want to think of the ethics involved.

I don't have a problem with DH watching porn. I don't think he's actually thought of the ethical consequences of it and it's something we've never discussed.

It has no bearing on our sex life, I know he would much rather be having sex with me than watching porn, but sometimes I'm just not up for it and he would never even think of pressuring me into it.

Picnicbasketcase, you could get him to watch some of the documentaries mentioned?

It's difficult because people don't want to believe (completely understandably) that they are hurting anyone, so can refuse to engage with the debate.

But i wasnt asking about the ethics and morals ... I was simply asking those open minded majority of people whose better halfs enjoy watching porn not rape not all this brutal crap... that is very much in the minority you can not tar people with the same brush alot ov films out there today are soft porn ..people need to lighten up ... its like sayin everyone goin to a football match is a hooligan ... but once again thanks for all yr input im very happy with my beta half ... maybe I was bein too curiuos

I have not called you or your oh anything, I can understand how the questions have made you uncomfortable as you don't want to think of the ethics involved.

You didn't

I told you i didn't agree with anything illegal or sick or anything people would be arrested for doing personally. You didn't leave it at that

You asked me if I would be ok if my partner liked watching rape, real or not, beastiality....etc

That's not something you ask about someone.

Do you have or ever have a partner who has thought about or watched rape, beastiality...etc? I'd presume no. Or at least you didn't know. IT's not a question anyone could answer yes to unless they were sick themselves.

To ask if I would be ok with my partner to watch rape or bestiality doesn't offend me because I like to ignore it happens, it offends me because putting someone who likes porn in the same boat as someone who likes to watch people and animals being raped is ridiculously narrow minded and pretty sick.

Do I watch porn? yes. Would I watch those things? no. Does that mean I am supporting those things because I watch porn.. of course not.

Just because both actions are filmed and classed as porn by some (including yourself, which makes you of a sicker mindset than I ever could be), doesn't mean those watching any kind of porn have to explain the actions of sick mentally deranged criminals.

People like to watch women and men with their bits out having sex

some people like to watch women and men with their bits out having sex and role playing

some people like to watch people with their bits out playing with their bits.

And then people with mental health issues like to watch rape, animal abuse, and many other strange things. If you count the last lot as a crossover of porn then I can't help that.

When people like to watch nature programs you don't ask them if they like the videos sickos post online of animals getting hurt, but they are animals getting filmed by people for someone elses entertainment...

It's just daft pigeon holing, and I'm not quite sure why I'm still trying to explain myself to people who can be so narrow minded about a subject they feel so strongly about.

lollypop - you wasn't too curious, but there's always a bunch of keyboard warriors who will jump on a subject and overtake it with their own personal war, and feel anyone else who ignores them is ignoring the plight they are talking about.

And not the fact they are just narrow minded judgmental motor mouths out to prove a constant point with intrusive questions.

Like if you make a post about "eating meat" or "vaccinating your child" "porn" is another one that will always be overtaken by a certain bunch. :)

Lollypop, watch one of the documentaries.

As bullets says, rape porn is mainstream now, but that's missing the point.

The worry is that the people being watched are not there because they are well-paid and enjoy their job.

It's up to you whether you are happy or not with your dp watching it. Some people will be, some won't. No one else can decide that for you. But the fact you asked suggests you're not happy with it. That's ok too. You don't have to be. For whatever reason. And if you're not, then that's something you should discuss with your dp.

But dizzy, just because you don't feel comfortable talking about all aspects of the porn industry, or even seeing them as porn, doesn't mean they're not porn. What you describe as what you like is now considered very soft porn.

And sadly as bullet pointed out, rape porn is sadly now mainstream :(