feelings on porn

[lollypop77]

Just wanted other peoples opinions on if they are ok with there partners/husbands watching porn regular ..do you get worried or wonder why they have the need to ??

fuckyouchrisandthathorse

I never said I was uncomfortable discussing it I said

1. It is wrong for you to try and have the conversation by asking me if my partner is into rape an beastiality. You asked the question of him more than once just to get a point a across. and you do NOT get the point across by making those comments about other people's partners.

1. I said I was long longer discussing it in relation to this post, as lollipop didn't ask for it to get that way, and she certainly has made it clear she's had enough information. She or myself are not being ignorant, just sticking to the point.

1. If you want to get into discussions like you are then make your own thread instead of attacking people with questions such as "does your partner like rape porn" "does your partner like beastiality" just so someone will get offended and say "of course not!" so that you can continue on your soap box

The discussion or the subject wasn't wrong. Your intrusive and attacking method IS. You just don't talk to people that way. I don't expect to know what goes on in your head sexually, and I won't presume that if you like one thing it will lead to another more sick and perverted thing.

Don't use other people personally as tools to make a point. Make it without being personal and offensive and maybe you will get a much more adult discussion on the topic instead of an argument.

Don't presume to know my morals or ethics are shady based on one comment, just like I won't presume to think anything about you.

In a word.... grow up.

no longer*

Dizzy, I never asked if your partner was into those things, I asked what your reaction would be if you found out that when he said "porn" he meant those things. A very different question.

I'm sorry you feel attacked, this is a discussion. Sometimes people won't agree with you and will question you. It's always up to you if you answer or not.

I recommend you reread my original questions as I think you have misread them.

You have since made it clear that when you say "porn" you mean "soft core porn". But even then, the people involved are open to abuse. Watching porn is something that should always be questioned from an ethical standpoint, as should most things we choose to do.

Yes I agree FYCATH - I loathe the way porn has become mainstream. I find it very sinister and I fear for youngsters now, in that atmosphere. The normalisation of rape porn is very disturbing.
I detest porn. I get so angry at the music videos which are literally porn which are shown in the daytime and which young relatives of mine dance along to, they know the dances and their parents think its funny. Every time such a video comes on I protest loudly. People probably think I am rude or a pain but I will not be silent about it just to avoid upsetting men. No one is protecting young people from this so you have to be very strict with your own kids.
My friends husband has a t-shirt with a woman on in an explicit pose and I told him it was disgusting and offensive to women and to his wife which it is. Seriously why do some men wear t shirts like that? That's just embarrassing. Funnily enough he is a right chauvinist.

justtherightbullets

I'm not watching anything for you, that is not why I came to this thread. Just continue to think what you like about people unless they think your way, it's what judgemental people do.

fuckyouchrisandthathorse

Your method of trying to prove a point is immature and intrusive.

I'm done with both of you. You can all have this conversation together and agree with each other in unison about what decent human beings you are compared to us unethical and immoral lot.

Have fun

Oh dear, Dizzy.

Bullet was suggesting something that might help explain why this is something that people feel so strongly about. It's much harder to pretend no one is hurt after you've seen what pain it has caused real people.

Putting aside the moral issues that surround the making of porn (which have been well discussed here), what about the effect it has on those who watch it and on society more widely? I hate the idea that our home, where we live and make love and eat and laugh, can be "invaded" by degrading and distasteful images and actions at the click of a mouse. I hate the idea that my partner can, if he so chooses, decide that he can't be bothered to actually have sex with me, but he can get off to some videos in two minutes flat. It is all too easy and throwaway, and the attitudes that it fosters are that women are throwaway by extension, interchangeable, and only of worth according to their bodies and availability.

I hate that most men today have watched enough of it for it to effect the way they act in bed, that lack of naturalness and staged feeling. And I especially hate that if I express my distaste I'm accused of being frigid or boring or sex hating, when I am none of these things. I don't want to live in a society where one half is hooked on pornographic images that make real sex strange and difficult for them; and where the other half is trying to negotiate what they feel about the ubiquity of these images. That is NOT NORMAL.

If I can interrupt a moment :P

majority of mainstream porn these days revolves around violence and degrading women. Slapping, gagging, forceful anal (they don't tend to show the lube or warm up), humiliation, the use of language like "bitch", "slut", "whore"... all of that is mainstream . Cunnilingus, or anything else intended to pleasure the woman, is conspicuous by its absence.

regarding language, I'm sad that the language of lust and often women's gentials - fuck, wank, cunt - is used so often as a term of hate and abuse on this site. The worst thing someone can call someone else here is a cunt. The most delicate, enjoyable part of a woman's body.

Use cunt as a practical description of the vagina sure. But if we're talking about the degradation and objectification of women, using cunt as a term of hate is contributing directly to it.

I have to say many of these porn performers are very good actors and actresses, if indeed they are performing against their will. And maintaining the deception off-set too, on social media etc.
Btw, why is porn considered bad for women, yet not for men, as there seem to be as many men in porn as women ? Is it because our misogynistic society believes women should not enjoy sex, and should not be promoting their sexuality ?

There is absolutely no need for porn to be a part of our society, we have imaginative brains, maybe 'we' should have a go at using them instead? Too much of a radical idea?

Porn in my view is exploitative and also very lazy.

As for the oh but men are more imagery based and therefore 'need' visual stimuli...... Bollocks to that, if I was a man I would feel insulted by this. Men are more than able to imagine senarios in their minds eye.

This is always an emotive subject, isn’t it?

So many subjects though seem to get mixed into this debate leading to wild conclusions.

Few can argue that pornography recorded with forced and/or unwilling participants is wrong.

But not all porn is forced and exploitative. Women command far higher fees than men. Some enjoy it, some see it as a job. I personally think that those who sell themselves for sex diminish themselves a little every time, but do I get turned on by looking at a fit guy with a big cock pleasuring a woman? Yes.

Some couples like to record their sex sessions, is that wrong? Some like to watch others having sex, is that wrong? Some like to explore role play in their sex lives and include base sexual language to excite them, is that wrong?

Too often the prurient hijack the debate, condemning porn because their vision of sex is quite limited, and there is nothing wrong with. I have some girlfriends who see sex as a means to have babies and keep their partners happy from time to time, again there is nothing wrong with that. Other enjoy racy sexual experiences and seek out more, with porn playing a part. There should be nothing wrong with that either.

For me the dividing line is when enjoying concensual porn becomes more important than the real thing, the relationship with your partner. Sex should be about mutual enjoyment in a secure relationship, but it can also be about fantasy, the unexpected and the excitement of the unexperienced.

I suspect that as many relationships are blighted by poor, fallow, lazy sexual engagement as are affected by those whose relationships have been skewed by porn.

Um, that's the second time you've used the word 'prurient' Lucy. Do you know what it means?

But not all porn is forced and exploitative. Women command far higher fees than men. Some enjoy it, some see it as a job.

The subject of the Hardcore documentary meets your criteria. What did you think of it?

I personally think that those who sell themselves for sex diminish themselves a little every time, but do I get turned on by looking at a fit guy with a big cock pleasuring a woman? Yes.

You believe the woman is losing a little bit of herself, yet you find it a turn on? I can't figure that out.

JFR - I think Lucy meant puritanical. It's such a tired old criticism. I mean, I write erotic fiction as a hobby, but because I won't watch porn for the reasons so eloquently explained on this thread, apparently I must be puritanical and in league with Mary Whitehouse.

Lucy - I have a question for you. How do you magically tell which of the stuff you're watching features forced/unwilling participants (which you accept is wrong) and which features these cheerful exhibitionists/well-paid professionals you tell us about?

May be some confusion between prurient and puritan there

Would you just name a couple HarmonicF?

Some very depressing and ignorant attitudes coming through on this thread, the worst one being that porn is a 'natural' thing a man does to relieve himself, 'it's only when I'm too tired', 'he's away on the rigs' and it has has no bearing on anything. Utterly depressing. So that can't help themselves? They have a biological need that cannot be satisfied any other way? Boy, our forefathers must have been hopping around in agony with buster gonads between their legs with no porn to watch.

Some men don't actually feel the need to watch strangers having it off. Just a thought, some men have ethics too, some men would rather a real woman (or man, if gay) some men use their imaginations.
I'm not a man, I'm a woman who doesn't see all men as sex obsessed weak willed cock led little boys.

It's the AVAILABILITY of porn and the MAKERS of porn who are feeding the demand, the demand is there because it is AVAILABLE.

I will go as far as saying it needs to be eradicated from the internet, shock, horror though I am a normal red blooded woman and likes a bit of the other. Just think porn sucks...pun intended.