feelings on porn

[lollypop77]

Just wanted other peoples opinions on if they are ok with there partners/husbands watching porn regular ..do you get worried or wonder why they have the need to ??

Thanks for answering SGB, will come back to you,

they have ridiculed the question (are you a teacher???

This was not ridicule, it was a genuine question, prompted by your posting style and, most specifically, this post:

placidjoy123 Sun 14-Sep-14 12:42:44

In fact for anyone joining this debate late, what SPECIFICALLY IS THE ANTI GROUP SUGGESTING OTHER THAN ABSTINENCE?

Please an answer from at least one of you.

So, are you a teacher?

"Go back a few hundred years and not only was there no porn"- Solidgoldbrass

Untrue.

Roman brothels, including the one in Pompeii, had pornographic illustrations on the walls.

I could go through your post placid and pick up on all the things that are wrong or untrue, but there would be no point.

You come across as someone who has no insight into the porn industry or indeed the reasons, circumstances etc as to why, what, when or how people come to find themselves in it. Neither do you seem to have a basic grasp of feminism or patriarchal society and how the two are pitted against each other.

This is not a personal attract nor a criticism. I'm just pointing out that you appear to lack some in depth knowledge into the background.

That's fine by the way, you don't need to know but it is obvious from your posts.

I am under the impression that big brother does a psych test before it let's people into the house.

If we are talking free choice in consent, could a psych test be useful to see who isn't actually messed up and therefore unsuitable for this line of work?

Or would that mean one happy hooker type porn star doing every film?

lets

suitable. Grrr

It does sometimes seem that the anti-porn argument stems from a belief that 'no woman would want to indulge in such depravity', and ego they must have been coerced.
Not necessarily the case.
And there is ample porn showing men being abused and degraded (tiny-penis mocking, CBT, cuckold films etc) so it isn't just a feminist issue.

Ergo mugg1ns that *All woman want to indulge in such depravity? from the pro porn.

Sassandfaff - slightly OT here but if they do, it must be bloody awful given the number of BB participants who have displayed serious psychological issues within the house that must have been obvious before they went in.

Though, once again, it brings up the question of choice and autonomy for people who are perhaps not 'normal' eg drug users or who have some or other MH condition. At what point can their choices be ignored or overridden because someone else disapproves? One of the strands of feminist opposition to anti-porn activism was that some of the arguments against porn insisted that no woman participating in porn could be in her right mind, that she was making a 'bad' decision and therefore no contract she signed could be valid. Anti-censorship feminists argued that feminism in general had fought for the right for women to sign contracts and be taken seriously when they did so.

Women! Not woman.

OK lets just take it as read that I understand grammar, punctuation, past tense, plurals etc, but I'm extremely sleep deprived, on my stupid phone and type too fast.

Otherwise there will just be a long list of posts from myself with all my daft corrections!

Sorry sgb I'm just on my way out so can't answer fully, but quickly - I think they should never have let some of the BB contestants in and it shows a complete lack of concern for individuals and more care about ratings. But I think the porn industry would be the same, as is probably the case for most industries.

I don't think I would go so far to say no one can legitimately sign a consent form if they are a drug addict or were abused as a child etc. But I do believe that they are negatively or biased in their influence to do so. And I believe that their lack of self worth needs addressing with counselling not arguing that it is ok because they said so themselves.

I don't believe that every women or man that decides to go into porn is uneducated young naive poverty induced. I do believe that some are educated have other choices etc and I think they are the ones who fully give consent if you like.

That's not to say that you couldn't argue patriarchy hasn't subconsciously socialised them into

I haven't got a nailed down argument. Its more like jelly, stable but wobbly.

I take a more holistic approach as I've said and for me personally all the negative issues together outweigh the few (IMO) that I hear argued on here and elsewhere.

I don't have a problem with the women either, I'm not jealous or insecure. I few them from a mum angle actually and feel it's tragic for a lot of them. It's tragic for females in general who are increasingly being objectified and abused, especially teenage girls and I feel sorry for all the women who feel hurt, betrayed and insecure when they find out their husbands do it behind their backs.

I just can't accept that there is enough justification for it in this society as it is.

Oops. That was long!

It does sometimes seem that the anti-porn argument stems from a belief that 'no woman would want to indulge in such depravity', and ego they must have been coerced.

I disagree with this. I don't see porn as "depravity" and I don't see SGB, say, as coerced.

But again - if some proportion of the people in porn (men or women) are being raped, coerced or abused and there's no way of knowing which unless I personally know the performers well enough to judge, then I choose not to consume this product.

'Most of them' not being coerced/raped/abused isn't enough for me.

Sorry, forgot to bold the quote from Mugg1ns post.

This thread has been a very interesting read, but it could go on for ever, and people like placid will not change their views no matter how much evidence is presented. For me, if there's even the slightest chance that a person in a porn video has been abused or coerced then I must abstain from using any porn. It's simply too big a risk for my pleasure (which I can get in other ways). For others, their pleasure is more important than others abuse........

I find the Linda Lovelace story fascinating. she was involved with a very mainstream, apparently reputable part of the industry.

Ok. So I've been trying to nail down my argument. And it might not be the best, but this is what I've come up with.

Scenario. Office based job. 1 woman who works there is young, bubbly, pretty etc. The men give her lots of attention which eventually leads to sexual talk, objectifying etc. Another women pulls the men up on it, but the young woman says, no it's ok, I don't mind, I like it. (Consent given)

Eventually this sexualized talk and objectification seeps out towards all/most/other women in the office. They don't like it and a few voice their annoyance/concern.

Typically responses back are - ' you are a prude' 'you are just jealous' 'you must be one of them feminists'

It is inconceivable to a lot of pro porn people that the women who are anti porn may not be jealous, but may just not like the treatment that stems from this minority who like and consent to it.

It is seen as patronising and condescending to think of that woman in the office scenario as having low self esteem issues because she has given her consent and therefore her diabolical treatment at the hands of her male colleagues must be seen as pro choice, and empowering.

In short, I think its the one thing (apart from the fact that we are the only ones who can give birth) that is holding us back from equality and I would go as far as to say that it's making us go backwards.

Hope that makes sense.

Not the one thing, sorry, I meant it is the major thing.

Totally agree with you Sass, going back to what I said way earlier about this being men's last stab at quoshing equality by what is effectively mass grooming.

But yes we're all man hating prudes for even thinking it.

Oh mhq! - I wanted to reply that I'd never found him with it wedged up there, as it twas me that shoved it up there..........

Dammit I miss all the fun.

Fairfnuff
I am not a teacher.

I am not greatly thrilled with porn because:

It promotes an unrealistic view of sex - in particular, the male focus of it all. I watched, a while back, with my DH some porn that was particularly recommended as 'female friendly' with a female director. I think the proportion of it that was about the woman (i.e. someone going down on a woman or manually stimulating her, etc) was about 1%. Maybe 2% if I'm being generous.

It is clear that many women are doing it not of their own free will and that makes me uncomfortable.

However, my DH watches it occasionally and that doesn't really bother me. It definitely helps that what he likes to watch is videos of women masturbating which doesn't feel anything like as 'icky' as some of the other stuff out there.

I also feel like very few of us are completely ethical consumers - most of the clothes we wear, the shoes on our feet, the bags we carry, the phones/computers we use, the food we eat is produced in the third world in deeply unpleasant labour conditions. It's hard to be certain that what you're wearing isn't being produced by someone who has been trafficked and forced to work.

I do try to be an ethical consumer but, like most people, I am not perfect and neither is my DH. I don't particularly feel like someone who uses porn is a worse person than someone who, for example, buys an iphone. See - www.huffingtonpost.com/fran-hawthorne/apples-appalling-ethics_b_1651264.html - for some info on apple's "ethical" practices.

I've gotten a lot of ideas for our sex life from porn, including pegging and actually making porn (haven't got round to that one yet!) we like the same types of porn (apart from I like animated and he doesn't). He's a lot less kinkier than me and likes seeing smiles on girl's faces and them having fun, not looking like they're crying. I'm into less mainstream stuff, but stuff I have got from porn has widened our sex life and made it so that we an try out new things such as elements of BDSM. It's not the porn that gets us off, it's imagining it's your and your DP there in that little film, for us anyway. Everyone is different and I can see why people don't like it but neither of us abuse it and use it purely when we're not together, to use exactly how its meant to be used - to get you off. I don't watch porn that makes it look like the girl is crying/in pain/not enjoying it. I like the smiling, the laughing, the fun kinda stuff. It's also called Erotic and Female Friendly, the stuff I watch. I'm using it to get off, not to sit there and think oh my god are they treating their actors well? it doesn't cross my mind when I have a vibrator in my hand. It doesn't really cross my mind afterwards either because of the nature of the stuff I watch (pegging and anime...)

What do you think about the fact that women are exploited and injured during the production of porn? Actually hurt and humiliated and not pretending?