feelings on porn

[lollypop77]

Just wanted other peoples opinions on if they are ok with there partners/husbands watching porn regular ..do you get worried or wonder why they have the need to ??

The price paid for sexual fidelity was pretty high too. All those women forced to stay in abusive marriages. Funnily enough, the men didn't pay the price to anywhere near the same extent.

And if you think Victorian London and earlier wasn't absolutely riddled with prostitution, then I'm afraid you're badly mistaken. The literature and records are clear. You do know there's always been a thriving porn industry, right?

"the price paid for sexual liberty is far too high" really is comign from an illusion that there was a golden age when everyone lived in one-man one-woman relationships. Never been like that.

Either way, it's usually the women suffering, being abused and exploited

sgb I'm not sure if you meant to or not, but your post reads that there are only 2 choices, a healthy committed relationship or porn?

Again I would argue if women had equality it would be different, but removing the stigma and making it safer would not make the world a better place.

Germany's brothels have proven that. Amsterdam's Mayor is trying to undo all that has been done regarding prostitution.

placid what's wrong with a quick orgasm?
Nothing at all it's completely normal and natural. What daughter was saying, (as I'm 100% sure you know) is that it's not as important as someone's human dignity being sacrificed for. Do you not agree with that?

sadly, yes, fairenuff. Along with children :s

Meerka. Prostitution hails from an time when women were merely chattels and men kept slaves. There was never a golden age of innocence, just a gradual decline in misogyny and female oppression. The sex industry is men's last stab at continuing this tradition, by mass grooming young men and women to believe that it is normal to buy and sell sex. Even Robert Maxwell says it's old fashioned.

Porn hugely undermines human dignity. Sex should be respected as something intimate and personal. It's not a complicated debate, we have been duped and we should have more confidence to admit that we are literally being shafted by men, yet again.

errrm ..... with respect I disagree with a great deal of what you've said there. I doubt we'll see it the same way though.

Meerka. There was a time that Blacks where slaves, gays couldn't marry, women have children out of wedlock where stoned to death.

An argument that it's been around for Years so can't be changed is apathy lazy or just hiding behind an excuse because you don't really want change.

Be my guest if you want to challenge my account of history Meerka.

Were not where!

"Sex should be respected as something intimate and personal."

Hmm, not sure about this. Sex is fun. It does carry with it the potential for one or both parties not to be happily participating though, and introducing money or notoriety into the process somewhere increases that risk hugely.

.... er, I do know that blacks were slaves etc etc sass ;)

I simply find that saying 'no one should watch porn' is fairly pointless becuase it's not going to change anything! Enforcement would be impossible. You could make it more difficult to access but it would not be eradicated. Now that might be a gain, to make it more difficult to access, but there would be consequent difficulties.

Anyway the chances of getting it made illegal in all the countries of the world are about 0. If you don't get it made illegal world-wide then it'll be simply be made where it's legal and uploaded ...not even to mention the illegal trade.

I don't think it's lazy to prefer to address the issue in a practical way. I simply find saying 'you don't want it to change so you're avoiding the issue' is kind of denying that someone might actually think differently from you.

However I don't believe there is the need to outlaw it as a blanket thing in the first place. Again, I simply think differently than you. I don't think all porn is bad, blanket statement. Some is, without doubt. But not all. I don't see the need to outlaw the not-bad stuff.

"Sex should be respected as something intimate and personal."

Hmm, not sure about this. Sex is fun.

The two are not mutually exclusive Bland

The thing is, people automatically make the link between sex and porn because it's just widely assumed that porn portrays sex. And of course it does but it's a very different kind of sex to human sexual relations.

Imagine sex education in school, just showing 16 year olds a porn dvd and saying, there you go, that's how you do it. It would be ridiculous right?

Porn is so far removed from human sexual relationships when you think about it. It's more, a female has three holes that can be filled by putting a penis here, here and here. The female needs no preparation, can accomodate any number of penises and personal enjoyment for the man is guaranteed.

Where is the woman in all of this? She is just an object to be used and, yes, sometimes abused.

I don't see the link between porn and monogamy, I think they are quite separate. If couples want an open relationship, they can have it. They can have other sexual partners. Porn has nothing to do with personal relationship choices as far as I can see.

But I notice DaughterDilemma you don't offer any suggestions?

As someone suggested earlier, I suspect that most of the Vehemently ANTI lobby won't engage in any suggestions or proposals that the industry could be made safer because in reality they want to impose their own sexual mores on to others. I don't like that sort of thing so neither should anyone else

Fairnuff is back on and still refusing to clarify her position. I will therefore assume that my inference is correct.

There is NO satisfactory proof of consent for you so this allows you to accuse people of rape and condoning rape. I suspect this is how you actually prefer it to be.

BTW If you did that in real life (say this topic came up in a social setting) it would be classed as slander. If MN wasn't anonymous it could be classed by some as libel

I checked with my DH and that clip we watched of the two women and yes enjoyed was from a Californian studio where state legislation for the sex industry is very strict. Given the highly litigious world out there, the studios themselves go to great lengths to avoid being shut down by State government or being sued by actors. So yes, there IS a very lengthy consent form. They also have to be verified as HIV- and also take an alcohol and drugs test (in common with all Californian employees.

At the start of each film this particular studio gets all actors to do an informal piece direct to camera to show their ID, verify their age, say why the got into the industry etc and show to viewers that they are happy, healthy, looking forward to what they are about to. They do this again at the end of the session.

So in reality this is actually a lot more stringent a check for safety and consent than most one night stands I've hadI'm guessing.

ABDC
Sure the two women might not have fancied each other and they might not have even been lesbian (neither am I but I reject your premise of "outside their sexuality" -some of us are on a continuum). But I am guessing they would say to you "This is my job, I'm sure there are some aspects of your job you don't like 100% but if I had a problem with this I wouldn't do it. I'm a grown up. It's a free country. I'm not doing anything illegal. I'm having fun and I get paid."

I don't think you can ban it worldwide or completely eradicate it either. I just wouldn't use that as an excuse not to even try though.

Slavery still exits in some countries and there have been cases here. It would be the same with porn. It is still better without slavery as an accepted state of affairs though, isn't it?

I'm not completely against porn in theory, watching people have sex to get turned on etc as a stand alone concept is not in itself problematic. However, the violence, humiliation, objectification etc of women, the easy access for children, the desensitization of prolific users leading to needing more extreme stuff, the addiction and loss of RL relationship with your oh, the unrealistic expectations passed to both girls and boys at a young age and the increase in seeing women in general as sex objects just make it too high of a price to pay, just because some people bleat on about it being their right to have a porn induced orgasm.

placid aren't you doing the same thing though?

Aren't you saying I do like this sort of thing, so you should too?

At the start of each film this particular studio gets all actors to do an informal piece direct to camera to show their ID, verify their age, say why the got into the industry etc and show to viewers that they are happy, healthy, looking forward to what they are about to. They do this again at the end of the session.

So in reality this is actually a lot more stringent a check for safety and consent than most one night stands I've hadblushI'm guessing.

Are you saying that on your one night stands you weren't sure that your partners consented?

Yet you are sure that stangers in a porn film on the other side of the world must have consented because they said so on film?

Placidjoy if it's so complicated and litiginous and risky why not just ban it, be done and enjoy watching someone you actually know having sex in real life for free?

But that's it isn't it though, you don't want the real thing, it has to be sterile and distant. Oh, and convenient. At the expense of so many.

And what's with the nasty undercurrent of slander threats?

placid you are either very naive or clutching at straws......

Do you know it is the law that they do everything feasible to stop contact with semen and vaginal fluid?

Hahahaha.

Fairnuff is back on and still refusing to clarify her position. I will therefore assume that my inference is correct.

Oh, and regarding this, I have stated over and over again my position. If you watch porn without knowing whether or not the women consented, then you don't know whether or not you are watching rape/abuse.

I know you are happy to do this, you have gone on and on about it, tried to justify it, etc. so we are both crystal clear as to where we stand. Pretending that you don't understand me is getting a bit repetitive.

At the start of each film this particular studio gets all actors to do an informal piece direct to camera to show their ID, verify their age, say why the got into the industry etc and show to viewers that they are happy, healthy, looking forward to what they are about to. They do this again at the end of the session.

Belle Knox has done this. Did you watch that link?

laws

I like the bit that says, if they can't stop contact they should provide condoms, dental dams, gloves and eye protection.

Have you every seen googles in a cum face shot placid?

ever

Sass
not at all! I absolutely respect the decision by Fairnuff and others to abstain. I have never suggested that she or anyone else look at anything they don't want to.

People DO have the right to enjoy themselves (be it through coffee, alcohol, gambling, ). None of these are needs but they are legitimate desires which can be fulfilled legally and safely. We (in free society) enshrine these rights but also protect individuals through regulations. That is what I and Meerka are advocating.

MORE PROTECTION. MORE SAFETY

If my DH gets off on looking at entirely legal images of women's toes, what right have I got to say No? I want him to be happy and fulfilled and he wants the same for me. We have already established that this particular genre (a woman alone, not even undressed simply massaging her feet) couldn't possibly be classed as rape so even Fairnuff should be happy

I agree that sexuality is a continuum.

I gather from your post that if these 2 women placed themselves at the straight end of that continuum, you still wouldn't find it problematic to watch them. You see what they are doing as a job and so if you were watching them doing something they didn't enjoy, that wouldn't impact your enjoyment - is that right?

Are your toes not good enough for him then Placid? Perhaps he should get a job in Clarks.