Hi Guys I know I am a pain but I am really upset.

[Karenthetoadslayer]

Toad must have broken into the house when we were away and took a large and valuable cutlery set that my parents gave me. Previously I had the set in storage, but I took everything out of storage at the beginning of the year and when we went on holiday, I put valuables in a "secret place" in the house.

I just wanted to put everything back and realised the set is missing. He was after that and tried to take it, when he got evicted (I had covered the empty boxes and saw that these had been messed with).

I have no evidence that he took it, of course.

I wondered why he had taken the silver polish - now I know!

Donkeys DS would like to know why you called him "Toad". He thinks Mr Toad is not anywhere near as bad? I think it was because he is so pompous. I still think it is a good name and I have inadvertently referred to him as such in RL.

Stating the obvious, WWK but what about romance?

I so wished for rekindling our romance

I thought this was you being sarcastic, please, please don't say he wrote that.

I was being sarcastic, of course, improvising a reply to the email.

Do you know he even left a bunch of red roses, a bottle of champagne and a loving note for me in the kitchen (of course) when get got moved out?

Disclaimer: No emergency referral to the Freedom Programme necessary.

I mean I kicked him out and he still thinks I would have him back?

I did not know that!

Clearly, what with you not being a drinker an' all, you needed to get that corrected pronto!

Oh dear Karen must think carefully... yes one reason the name popped into my head was because Toad from Wind in the Willows was puffed up with pride and never listened to anyone and always thought he was right.

If DS is pondering say Toad wasn't very good or trustworthy but he did have moments of kindness and like people, was rarely completely awful all of the time. However his favourite topic was himself and he always thought of #1 above all else.

Oh not forgetting according to legend, the Chinese god of wealth had a particular pet, a three-legged toad named Chan Chu. This creature had red eyes and a gold coin in its mouth, and normally sat upon a pile of coins. Sorry but the image of a not very attractive character with red eyes and money mad seems quite fitting.

Red roses and fizz. You can picture him ticking the boxes, "Hmm this should do the trick. Win her back round with a lovely thoughtful gesture".

Excellent, Donkeys you are a star! Very fitting.

Chan Chu sounds like the exact mold from which Toad was formed! Well done, Donkeys

You are all brilliant I have just sent off an email to the mediator that WWK and I have laboured over all Saturday. Phew!

Ooo look, here he is! Now you have a nice pic to think of instead of the Toad's actual face. :)

Oh brilliant pic!

Good news about the perfectly pitched email Karen.

Do you know he even left a bunch of red roses, a bottle of champagne and a loving note for me in the kitchen (of course) when get got moved out?

Ah, this just reminded me of the childish drawing exH left for me (or was it DS?) when he finally left the house.
With the soppiest message. I think I still have it as evidence that he had hurt me.

And, yes, he still held to the belief that I'd have him back eventually, too.
It's in the script, you know.

that is JUST how I pictured him

..... Repeat ad infinitum

Please can I ask dd to curse him?

It must be me: the mediator agreed to see the DCs in November. That was fine. I agreed. All in writing. Now he said he will see them within two weeks or he will terminate the mediation. Because Toad said so. Or else I can f* off.

Great picture Thumb and great likeness too.

I so wish I could post a photo. May be when it's all over. If this will ever happen.

I don't suppose that this is an ornament that is on your mantelpiece, Thumb ?

Sadly (?) not, no. It's a photo I found on the interwebz.

Now he said he will see them within two weeks or he will terminate the mediation.
Weren't you going to terminate it anyway?

I was trying to show that this was not working how they were going to go about it, now they are trying to blame me for this and say that I am not cooperating.

They have been messing me about all week and I continue to receive contradictory instructions from Toad, Toad's solicitor as well as the mediator. I had three letters this week with different dates to what had previously been agreed and setting impossible deadlines. They do not accept any of my objections that this is not what has been ageed and continue to pressurise me anyway.

I am now comaining to the FMA about the mediator and I am lucky I have everything in writing.

I have complained to Toad that his deadline was in the past and I could not meet this.

I still have to inform Toad's solicitor that it is impossible to act in all this conflicting information, but he does that a lot and ignore sit whenever I point out that they contradict themselves.

I am now feeling nauseous, had chest pains all night and I am wondering how much longer I can go on like this. Seriously.

sorry for typos.

You should stop all contact with them, and instruct your solicitor to refer this matter to the court.

Lweji what script?

I am beginning to realise that we will have to leave the country to get away from him.

If I could more or less seamlessly integrate the DCs into German schools I would do that immediately, but their German is not good enough and DS is now doing GCSEs.
But on the other hand this cannot continue, we have had almost ten months of this going on and no end in sight.

The abuser's script.
If we compare stories, they tend to follow patterns. And it's almost predictable that they will them at one point or another.

The best way is not to engage. As in this case, to refer it to the court, as you cannot deal with this. No normal person can. Let the judge be the pissed off person at him. :)

If Toad's solicitor is fucking around as well, you could consider reporting him to the solicitors' "governing" (wrong word) body - I'll go and find out what it's called and let you know. Sounds like he's not behaving in a proper professional fashion either, tbh, and he should be brought up short over it!

I think it's the Law Society that you have to complain to.
(My Dad is involved in a situation between 3 solicitors where one of them has threatened to report another one of them to the Law Society over unprofessional conduct or similar, but I don't know too much else about how it works, sorry)