Hi Guys I know I am a pain but I am really upset.

[Karenthetoadslayer]

Toad must have broken into the house when we were away and took a large and valuable cutlery set that my parents gave me. Previously I had the set in storage, but I took everything out of storage at the beginning of the year and when we went on holiday, I put valuables in a "secret place" in the house.

I just wanted to put everything back and realised the set is missing. He was after that and tried to take it, when he got evicted (I had covered the empty boxes and saw that these had been messed with).

I have no evidence that he took it, of course.

I wondered why he had taken the silver polish - now I know!

Oh Karen. He is truly a toad.

It will come to light eventually, especially as he likes it.

Yeah, I was intending to go job hunting today and not toad hunting.

[frustrated]

Surely if it did belong to the house, it should stay in the house, rather than in his storage unit, with his OW, with his family or wherever else? I hope you get it back.

No it did not belong to the house it is my personal property. It should not stay in the house, it should stay wherever I chose to put it. Sigh.

I think EBear is questioning his logic of "it belongs to the house" and then removing it from said house. By his own logic, it should stay in the house.

Possibly, but if you take this logic one step further it belongs to him, because the house does, in his opinion. Thanks Bogey

How does he get in? Have you changed the locks?

I'm glad you're going to report it as stolen. It's not actually your job as victim of a crime to solve the case, it's theirs. You can tell them your suspicions, of course, but then it's up to them how to proceed with the information. It must be very unsettling to think that your home isn't secure.

Yes, I was, Bogeyface - thank you for explaining.

CCTV and a burglar alarm would be a good idea. (on the right thread this time) I think you can get a burglar alarm with a panic button to the police or the alarm company.

Hi ATM I have to seriously look into this. I was hoping the house would be on the market by now and things would be settled. Instead, I am still faffing about with Anti Toad Protection. I had hoped by now he'd be history.

At least an alarm adds value to the house.

Do you have any idea how he got in?

Yes, I have an idea about the route he took. I have made a mistake in taking one key out that we traditionally always took out when we were away.

Not very nice thinking Toad has been in your home - for a morbidly obese person he must have exerted himself for once! - never mind what he took. Ugh.

The police berated me for leaving an upstairs window open on top of the conservatory once - they needn't worry about upstairs windows. Never mind downstairs windows.

He bought masses of clothes lately according to his bank statements. I suspect he has list a few pounds.

I think I'd be inclined to change the locks as well and make sure the downstairs windows have locks.

Downstairs windows are locked most of the time and def. at night. Changing all the locks is too expensive.

Hopefully it will be over soon and you will get peace from the Toad. Think of it this way - you are getting every last shot in his arsenal out of the way now so that when the ink is dry on the paperwork, he'll have run out of twattish things to do. He's like one of the more ghastly characters in Game of Thrones!

How on earth do these people maintain a normal façade in everyday life? The level of evil intent within him must spill out in other ways. Someone else will be in line for it once he is finished with you. He will never change and will be like that for ever. You, on the other hand, have your life ahead of you.

Every day you are a step closer and if you stumble, everyone here will make sure you get to the end.

Do call the police karen. I had it thrown back in my face "so why didn't you call the police then?" as if that were proof I was making stuff up. I had reasons for not reporting various things (not theft) but by not reporting it, it can be 'spun' that it's all made up by a mad woman I feel for you.

Exactly Fossil: The mediator berated me for being dramatic when I said that the children would not be keen on presents from Toad, as in the past Toad brought presents, flowers and gifts after he had super tantrums that included injuring DS and I. He was only ever generous on such occasions. And we had better accept them and forgive him, or else ...

And if it was expensive presents, he would not let them have these anyway and take them off the children straight away. Yet I was told not gone so dramatic. Like you said. I was being treated like a man woman.

Don't worry I am documenting everything painstakingly, mad woman or not.

Yeh, I hear you. That story is more like my own. I tried not to make things worse by infuriating him by reporting him. But that didn't work in the end, as he believed his own version and had no appreciation whatsoever that I had done him a huge favour not reporting him for all the physical aggression. And then, because I didn't report it, I could never, ever mention it. "The Script" was that I was a vindictive mad woman. So, document everything, report everything and then stay calm (so hard). Bon Courage.

And regardless of what misogynist solicitors imply to intimidate you, I think (hope?!) that a judge knows that people don't randomly report the theft of something if they're not prepared to stand behind that. Wasting police time is not something you've ever done before I'm sure. There is no record of you fabricating any charge about anybody, ever, and yet, I bet you will fear that the truth is perceived to be a 'dramatic lie'. [argh!]

Nevergrowingup Toad has not got anything else to do, that's the trouble. He is sitting in his hotel, getting pissed on the leftovers of our wine collection that he snatched, the OW does not appear to have worked out, he only temporarily made up with one of his sisters to drag her to court to make a statement against me (saying I was a stuck up bitch) so he is a lonely sad old guy focussing on us entirely. His aim in life is to give us a hard time and to ruin me. This is what he said to my parents (and got served promptly with a harassment warning).

He is evil. I even have snapshots of him fixating me with his evil glare. My support team were shocked when they saw him at court and these ladies have seen it all. The children are frightened of him, I am frightened of him, but i just have to keep fighting to get rid of this horrible man (to quote our community PO). He is dangerous and very angry.

Fossil this is the man who has already been told to move out of the family home and not enter the road and he still goes round telling people that I made it all up.