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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Husband has walked out - doesn't love me anymore

789 replies

whyMe2014 · 08/09/2014 00:25

My husband took me out for lunch on August 15th then told me that night that he was leaving me and our children (11 and 4). He wanted to separate and wanted to tell the children that night. I begged him not to tell the children and he left that night.

Since then he has hardly spoken to me. He has moved into a friends house that was empty. The only thing he appears to be worried about is leaving his flash car not his children.

He has said that he 'can't take it anymore'. He has told me that we are 'completely finished', he isn't in love with me and that things have never been good. He thinks we've grown apart. He has been doing increasing amounts of overtime since July and we hardly see him. He's also taken his wedding ring off. I feel like my heart has been ripped out.

I've been ill since May with a lung condition (i was in hospital for a week) and I'm still taking lots of mediation. I'm now also taking sedatives, and anti depressants just to get though the day. I had been off work until the beginning of August, I had only just started back on reduced hours with the intention of going back to work two days in London. But I used to work around my husbands shifts but now he's no longer here so I have to explain to my employer that I will no longer be able to work in London only at home. So I could lose my job as well. My doctor has signed me off again with stress.

I'm trying to shield my daughters from the pain but I know I will have to tell them eventually.

I cry everyday, I can't sleep or eat properly. What have I ever done to deserve this.

OP posts:
Atenco · 18/06/2015 23:45

WellWhoKnew
Grin

Izzie595 · 19/06/2015 23:15

Thanks WWK

I spot a flaw in their reasoning though. We would have to catch up with the runaway exes first????

Yeah I'm up for another bout of cheating and fuckwittery, bring it on!!

Oh yeah and you wanted to know how I did that funny sign thing. Tis easy if you think about who you're asking......

I discover things by mistake, don't I?

So you just press the smiley emoticon thing on the keyboard rahrer than the MN one.

whyMe2014 · 24/06/2015 22:58

Now what has been going on here? :)

OP posts:
WellWhoKnew · 24/06/2015 23:26

Some fuckers came on your thread and stole the smiley emoticon on my keyboard, Why. So I can't do question mark diamond things Sad.

Otherwise, not much.

Anniegetyourgun · 25/06/2015 00:33

It was something remarkably similar to

brynachristiana · 25/01/2016 05:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dollius01 · 25/01/2016 06:39

Reported

Marilynsbigsister · 25/01/2016 07:23

Can we get a spell caster to zap the pita spell casters ? Or shall we just rely on mnhq to 'disappear' them...

LisaMumsnet · 25/01/2016 09:59

The Spellcaster in Chief at MN Towers has officially zapped that post.

Mojoey · 26/11/2016 10:54

I don't know how to cope...my partner walked out on us last week.he said he doesnt and hasn't loved me for ages and he has been living a lie.I feel totally lost and hurt any advice x

dance87 · 17/08/2018 11:08

hi I know this is an old post but I'm wondering how your coping now? this has recently happened to myself and I'm in need of advice from people who have experience it please. imarriedaknob my situation is similar to yours.

DeltaDawn13 · 09/04/2019 21:45

Hi,
I don’t even know where to start if I am honest.
My partner has again decided to walk out in my today over me asking him to tidy the house with me but if I am honest I think that this has just been the perfect excuse that he has needed to start an argument and well I fell for it hook line and sinker.
He has only been back 2 weeks after the last time that he walked out because he was not getting his own way and well before this he has left numerous times.
Last year was a crazy year for us both with his mum getting diagnosed with cancer and mine having a heart attack it all just built up and well he chose the wrong road as he fell back in with a crowd that he used to be friends with but hadn’t been since we got together and then he ended up taking drugs (cocaine) and eventually falling off the wagon after 14 years sober.
So when he was taking drugs I was oblivious to this for a few months and then when he ran up a debt this is when he told me and well promised that it would not happen again and he would not touch it but well he did and ran up more debt to the point that Christmas was cancelled as we couldn’t afford to do it as he was paying drugs off at £200 a fortnight.
He then blamed me because I was getting stressed out about Christmas and well I wanted to get our mums something at least after the year they had but no he has to pay debt and it got to the point that he left a couple off days before Christmas and I didn’t hear from him until the 27th as he told me he was ill and had been in bed and well I believed him.
I then took him back and because some things that he was slipping up about I went through his phone and well nope he had not been in bed he had been out putting goodness knows how much up his nose.
He again promised that it would not happen again and well I believed him and we were getting along until he was getting angry about nothing and everything and we argued and he left again.
I didn’t hear from him for over a week and I was round the bend and then he phoned and told me that he had started drinking and as soon as he said it I went and got him brought him home and he went through detox with me taking time off work and making sure that he was ok.
I felt that this brought us closer and well maybe just me kidding myself but he was so convincing that it had and that nothing would ever break us again and he blamed the stress off his mum and watching what she was going through and this was the final result but that this was all in the past and that was it we were going to have the life that we set out to.
For 3 weeks it was great and we were getting in better than we had ever and then arguing started and he throw a miscarriage in my face that I had to him last year and he was shouting that he didn’t believe me because there was no proof.
What I called him from the hospital at the time he told me that he would be there and hope he went with his friends to get drugs and I didn’t hear from him for days.
He hurt me the one way that I never thought he would and I asked him to leave because he had sickened me with what he said and he did.
He then phoned and messaged me a couple off days later saying how sorry blah blah blah and well yeah I took him back.
He has then left today over me asking him to help me in the house because it needs a deep clean as he does nothing all day and I am just as bad in the house atm but I do work full time I do clean but not a proper clean and I cook the meals.
He told me he was tired and that it can get done another day and if I believed that it could then I wouldn’t have minded but this is what I hear all the time.
He then went crazy and started name calling and well left again.
I called his family home because he has left all his items and well I know that he will start kicking off when he wants them and I wanted to get it arranged for him to get them and avoid this and his dad told me he was out so this is the final straw because the only place that he will be will be with his druggie friends again and well he owes £1500 that I know about but well this will double probably.
I just needed to get this all out because I feel like I am going mad and have no one that I can turn to.

notsodimwit · 10/04/2019 05:28

Flowers Deltadawn and a hand hold for you until someone more in the know comes along with some good advice xx maybe make your own tread as this one is quite old Smile xx

MysteryMom · 10/04/2019 05:34

@DeltaDawn13 please make your own thread. This thread is ancient and people will miss your new post.

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