Dating Thread 80

[UrsulaBuffay]

As we were saying...

Hello, can I join in? I'm not dating at the moment, but it may be on the horizon soon so might need some moral support. Thought I'd better dish some out first! :) I know this thread moves really fast as I've lurked here before so I'll try and keep up. opens the biscuit tin and settles in Who's got a date lined up for the weekend then??

I don't think I am clever enough for multi dating. I am struggling to remember who is who, how many kids they have, the car they drive and other stuff important to blokes. There should be an app for keeping track

Not me JuJu. Welcome to the club - you need a huge heap of optimism, a dollop of realism, to grow another layer of skin, finger ready on the 'block him' button, a dose of humour and a twat radar. When those are in place you are ready to proceed.

Mr Engineer gone quiet on me today. Thought he was keen, messaged much yesterday. Nothing today hey ho.

Hello everyone, thought I'd join in.

I am well and truly back in the dating saddle and have a couple of ongoing ones.

What do people think of Guardian Soulmates? I think its crap! so expensive and everyone very samey. Pfft. OKCupid for me all the way.

It's all a bit soul destroying isn't it? I would love to be free from it all.

2nd date went OK, he wants a 3rd. he's nice, good kisser (although i'm being tentative on that for now) he's not setting my world alight, but he's nice enough.

makes me laugh, isn't weird and seems to like me enough.

will keep options open,

MrStern wants children. I've had four and don't want anymore. Is there actually any point in meeting him on that basis? I'm not looking for a casual thing. I'd like to meet someone with a view to a long term thing. Seems a bit of a nonstarter.

2nd date want well with MrItalian we have arranged to meet on Wend for a 3rd. Hissy seems we are on the same page, glad yours went well. MrItalian is nice, my only concern really is whether he is ready for a relationship, his wife had an affair (he caught them in the act yuk) and she has the house and everything he has worked hard for, so having to start all over again I can understand his bitterness, but worries me a little.

How long they been split Blossom?

I just read something and it made so much sense. I can't do links but if you sign up to gettingtotruelove.com they email you a few pages and it's really good!! Made me sit and think a bit

Direwolf no I wouldn't bother, I steer clear of men who want children as I too will not be having any more and it's something I'm never gonna budge on.

pink he left the home in October and divorce going through, the affair happened earlier in the year but he did not move out straight away. He is still very hurt and I do not blame him. He seems very honest and open and I like that. Just over thinking probably.

Thanks jarlin I am not sure my gut feelings are much to listen to, I am rubbish @ this and tend to over think things. He seems very kind, considerate and generous. For myself I think I will take a long time to trust anyone, if ever, so taking things very slowly seems like a good idea. Not sure whether to carry on dating other people, he said he is not and would like to see how things go with us. Trouble he is off to wedding this weekend and then will be his turn to have his daughter following weekend, so little opportunity to meet up. Not sure to text him today to say thanks for dinner last night or should I wait, see I am rubbish

Don't think we have much choice to take things slowly considering his plans. Dillemma over about text, he contacted me this morning and to arrange for tomorrow evening

Thanks Minmooch - not sure I'm quite ready for dating but I can feel the telltale wistful stirrings...'oh, wouldn't it be nice to have someone to go to this film with', 'wouldn't it be nice to fall asleep in someone's arms', 'oh, it would be nice to meet a man who was good at DIY'... I expect I'll subject myself to some twattery for a while and then remember that I was better off going to the pictures by myself, googling the DIY stuff and letting DD sleep in my bed for a cuddle! :)

Jarlin, your Slow sounds like a 'future faker' - I used the Baggage Reclaim website a lot a couple of years back and also her book Mr Unavailable, you might find it helpful. She describes why men pretend they're more interested than they are, why they fake a future with you and then back off etc.

Juju I totally get those telltale wistful stirrings you refer to followed by the oh FFS flip back to the sofa for a dating break.

Jarlin I wonder how many one-sided relationships morph into marriage because the party that's waiting to fall is still waiting but not prepared to hurt someone and is content to wait while the other half of the pair is suppressing 'that little niggle'? Fast forward 10 years and someone's posting on a board because their relationship is over and they've just worked out that the foundations of their relationship were weakened by the ribbons of someone's deceit/weakness running through them.

Your story with Slow just makes me more sure that listening to, and acting on, that little niggle is crucial to stopping the not-quite-right 'now' in order to find that fulfilling 'tomorrow'.

Hey sorry Jarlin, obviously I'm not up to speed with everyone's story here - misinterpreted what you said about him as being future faking. It sounds like he might end being your 'one that got away'. 'What ifs' are a bitch to handle. FWIW my ex-H cheated on me too, then I had a 'one that got away' which it took me over two years to finally tear myself away from - it was like cling film, put him down and then found him stuck to me again out of nowhere. I know I would never have got involved with him if I wasn't feeling so vulnerable, and that's no basis for a relationship, is it? Yesterday was exactly one year since I clapped eyes on him and I've been daydreaming about the 'what if' for the past week or so, but the niggle was too strong to ignore and I know in my heart that my next relationship has got to be 100% from both of us and I won't accept anything less! :)

I nearly went on Tinder earlier but then I realised I had an episode of Bake Off to watch - no contest!

I'm new on here so not really sure how it works, so please excuse me if I've miss understood! Can we just chat about anything? As I may have a date tomorrow evening just so out of touch that I don't know!!! Regardless of that I'm all excited and nervous and have no idea what to do, wear, say!! Just in a complete fluster, happy fluster though! Poor man I suspect he has no idea!

Welcome Tottie

When you figure out how this thread works, do let me know! I'm one of the more cynical ones but overall I think we all hope for a happy ever after even we're on Zimmer frames when it happens. In the meantime post your worries, paranoia, insecurities and ishoos here so that when you're dating/in the early throes of a relationship your date/other half thinks you're the coolest cucumber they've ever met!

Thank you Beforeandafter! I had only read the first page before posting, I now see there are 32! Will try first to work out how to put your name in bold!