Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 80

999 replies

UrsulaBuffay · 23/08/2014 15:38

As we were saying...

OP posts:
IMNOTYOURBABES · 08/09/2014 06:54

Anyway ...
I decided to meet up with someone y'day who isn't my usual type. It was all a bit last minute arrangements.

Soooo I hopped on the back of his motorbike & we went to the coast!!!
We spent 7 hours together, talking non stop, having a laugh, drinking tea out of polystyrene cups (classy).
He's 6' tall, 4 yrs younger than me, dark hair, fit & a bit cheeky.

I will have to think up a name.

namechanger77 · 08/09/2014 07:51

Babes will you see him again???

minmooch · 08/09/2014 08:15

Folk I think too that I have failed. Two failed marriages behind me. 8 miscarriages - failed to keep theses pregnancies. Still birth if identical twin girls - failed to protect them and keep them alive inside me long enough. My eldest son had and died from brain cancer - again I failed to save him. My friends say I have not failed, that I am the strongest person they know to have survived all that, still be standing, still looking for the good in life. My youngest son the other day was talking about a high powered parent going in to school to do a careers talk and I joking asked what I could go in and talk about - quick as a flash he replied 'how to be a strong, independent woman and a fantastic mum'. I may have shed a tear.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that others recognise things in us that we ourselves don't. You have survived an abusive childhood, an abusive marriage, raised children who love you. You are bloody amazing! Look what you have achieved despite these things being thrown at you. You do not know your own strength - I will say it again you are bloody amazing!

minmooch · 08/09/2014 08:18

Oooh Babes that sounds like a fab date!

Welcome to all the newbies. Hope your journey through OLD is a fun experience (wishful thinking for all of us).

UrsulaBuffay · 08/09/2014 08:31

Lovely post Minmooch I'm sorry for your losses x

OP posts:
gottafindaman4yagirl · 08/09/2014 10:46

Hi Ladies, I am still trying OLD, my date for Saturday night cancelled on me 30 minutes before meet up, said he was feeling unwell. I text him that I suddenly got a premonition that I would be unavailable for all future dates due to sudden illness. He had al day to cancel, I even messaged him in the day to check date was still a go. Sick of people saying to me they cant believe I'm single, looks don't guarantee being able to get in to a serious relationship.

Having problem with ex, is it normal for a ex to ask if I am dating, He got annoyed because I wouldn't give him spare keys to my house. We have kids that he has at weekends. Trying to get my life back after years of being kept down.

Just joined Match and it rubbish. Where are all the men because its the same ones on POF and its tumble weed on Match.

Question....If a man messages with Hello Gorgeous all the time is he just a creep, are the over the top "your beautiful, Stunning " comments just players?

newstartforme · 08/09/2014 11:26

Hi there Smile
How old are you all ? I'm forty and boy am I feeling it today Grin

minmooch · 08/09/2014 11:37

Hi News. I'm 47 and don't feel it. Sometimes I feel like I'm 90 but today I feel more like 30. I have got myself two part time jobs childminding after school hours. First paid job since my son was diagnosed nearly 3 years ago. This represents a new beginning for me and I am looking forward to it. It will give me some structure to my days without it being too onerous.

Gotts I don't bother to reply to anyone unless they send me more than 2 sentences! Not sure if they are players but I would say they are lazy and just trying their luck with anybody.

LittleBlueMouse · 08/09/2014 12:21

Gotta for me it depends, what is in their profile and what do they look like. I am more inclined to answer and give them the benefit of the doubt if I like what I see. I think approaching the opposite sex or sending the first message can be a bit daunting and some men probably assume wrongly that women are going to be flattered, and think this tactic works. Its an opener, that's all. Obviously if they go on to have nothing sensible to say I would bin them.

I am sitting here still wondering what to do about MrC. He sent text on thursday and I still haven't responded. I just don't know what to say. I am a little bit ambivalent. I am not willing to even communicate much unless there is any point to it. I seem to always say the wrong thing, I'm often quite direct, he goes off on flights of fancy and is sensitive and dreamy, I am grounded and like my feet on the ground, a map and a rough itinerary. I don't think I can face more texts, phone calls or emails but I won't be the first to suggest meeting up and I doubt I shall be able to instigate a serious conversation about what is happening. I am more likely then to just be curt, blunt and direct and give him what for!! I need someone to reign in this tendency and glue my gob together.

Mr Actor Luvvie is a bit too full on for me, too many texts, calls and questions. Over two hours at a time on the phone and texting all day. I am exhausted, this is before I even meet him. I guess if it were MrC being this full on I would be skipping about with two tails and a grin, so I guess I know I am not ready to even contemplate meeting anyone else and need to resolve this "thing" with MrC. Problem is, the last conversation was me saying "its over, I will go away, never make contact and want to get on with my life" I can't be arsed with protestations of love, life, future, families followed by radio silence for days because he has developed cold feet. I have never pushed for more, and yet now he places me in a position where the only sensible thing I can do is pin him down and ask where this is going. I feel aggrieved because it's not really natural or easy for me to push for more, and yet I am not willing now to be directed at his whim or his mood. He was the one pushing for more. So, I could make myself further vulnerable by asking, or walk away, the alternative of just carrying on and never being certain is not an option now.

gottafindaman4yagirl · 08/09/2014 12:24

Hi news, I am 33 and not long ago got asks fir ID, some days I look better than others. Feel years younger for getting out of a stressful relationship.

I know that some blokes are not so good with messages, Being a busy mum I don't have alot of opportunities to meet men. Was thinking of doing a course one evening.

LittleBlueMouse · 08/09/2014 12:39

News I am 40 and I feel it today. I look younger and I probably act younger because I spend most days with people half my age, tis fun Grin I am at home at the moment writing and I think the whole house/kids thing full time grind wears me down. Roll on October when I can spring down the road, stay out late and generally behave like the ageing teen I really am !

AndCatMakesThree · 08/09/2014 13:35

LBM, how long were you and Mr C together? Has he ever explained the periods of radio silence while you were together. It sounds as if you have strong feelings for him, but it sounds as if it wasn't an easy relationship. Do you have any hope that the two of you can work it out? (That's often the most important question for me: if I think there's a chance to work it out, I'll try. But if I think there's no hope, I call things off).

Minmooch, you've been through so much. I'm so sorry for all your losses. Your youngest son sounds wonderful. I'm the same age as you, btw. Sometimes feel much younger, other times much older.

Babes, that sounds like a really fun date!

Diagonally · 08/09/2014 13:37

Hi all...I'm 44. I find the pickings are quite slim for ok seeming men my age in my area, even on POF - am also on Zoosk and OKcupid to try and broaden my search Smile

Gotta I always read profiles for anyone who messages and go from there. I don't reply to all messages, just profiles I like.

Going to hospital appointment today for some investigations so decided to hold on arranging dates for the time being but I will hover in the background - good luck everyone for this week's meets / dates Thanks

IMNOTYOURBABES · 08/09/2014 15:19

Minmooch, your post made me cry. Your youngest son sounds like a very insightful boy.

Im 43 ... feel it today - had far too much fun y'day so is worth it. I'll call him fast Grin

IMNOTYOURBABES · 08/09/2014 15:21

Best of luck with your appt Diagonally.

LittleBlueMouse · 08/09/2014 15:49

minmooch I am in awe, you must be one strong lady. Your son sounds lovely, that's one hell of an achievement right there. Cooking kids to turn out well is a tough business.

AndCat is was eight months, but very much like a roller coaster. I think it's the difference in how we communicate, we confuse each other, despite being very alike in many respects. I am still thinking, thinking, thinking. I think it could work out but only if he is prepared to be brave, I am prepared to be less feisty and we talk properly. One major problem is sex, its very good so we spend all our time talking about it or doing it Grin and that is as much my fault as his!

Hissy · 08/09/2014 16:44

Folk brass it out with your 'D'B, bollocks to him. GO to the place you frequent, keep going. Be dignified and calm.

chances are EVERYONE in the place thought he was an arse for behaving like that. now you have witnesses as to how sick he is. the sympathy will be YOURS not his.

2nd date tonight looking forward to it. Not sure it'll be a Happy Ever After, but it's nice to have someone to talk to.

So far have not officially blown out the weirdo. supposed to be seeing him on Thursday. Have not replied/communicated with him since the 'game' comment. Was thinking of 'Sorry, need to cancel date this week, I've had a change of heart. Wishing you well, all the best Me'

God that sounds so cold... It doesn't need to be.

I could tell him that my instincts are tripping, or that I feel something isn't right, but it just invites discussion/negotiation, and I'm not going to be swayed. I'm convinced it'd go tits up, and I don't want the hassle. He gives me the heeby jeebies.

Blossomflowers · 08/09/2014 16:53

Hi all well of on 2nd date with MrItalian, just realised this is only the 2nd person I have met more that once, since starting OLD, and I am actually looking forward to it. Will update later

dippinmytoe · 08/09/2014 17:18

Hi guys , I've had a few dates now with Mr smiler.... but I now just don't know if I like him :-/ we have a good laugh when we meet , can chat away on the phone. He is a nice guy.... but ??? I'm confused. com . I just don't know if I'm just nervous of the whole relationship thing again... its sooo annoying

Minime85 · 08/09/2014 18:19

Oh jarlin I am so sorry to hear that things didn't go well with slow. He sounds like he at least was honest but it seems he could and should have been much more honest sooner. I do hope you are ok Flowers

Direwolf · 08/09/2014 21:39

I'm being a bit weird tonight ladies. I haven't contacted mrstern and he hasn't me tonight. I'm being a bit stubborn. Hmm Not really sure why. We have messaged every night for about a week. I should just message him shouldn't i.

Jarlin · 08/09/2014 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jarlin · 08/09/2014 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

minmooch · 08/09/2014 22:12

Ha ha ha ha ha - was just showing my pof profile to my cousin and it said that I take drugs and often!!!!!!!! I'm so the least likely person to take drugs often - wonder how many people have dismissed me!

Direwolf · 08/09/2014 22:27

I messaged him. He sent a lovely reply back quickly Smile I'm my own worst enemy sometimes!

Swipe left for the next trending thread