Before You're right. My exH has been amazing in that respect. It's like he's gone back to being the friend he was when we were teenagers.
I've said often that I don't think he intended to be EA. He had his own demons, and his own reasons for being with me. He was frustrated by my family issues, frustrated by me and my weaknesses, under his own stress at work, worried about his own parents... But amongst many more things, I've been called a "fucking cunt" more than once. I've had the wall next to my head punched more than once. And when I locked myself in the bathroom to get away from him, he kicked the door in. He supported me emotionally and practically through my degree, but also made it clear that if I didn't complete it, he'd leave me. Etc... But that's all in the past now.
i've said all along that I believed he was fond of me, which is why we got together. My mother made me homeless after I ended up back at home when my fiance dumped me after cheating when I was pregnant. I spent a year in a hostel, essentially. I was lost, lonely and terrified. He felt very protective over me and my child. He did the decent thing, because it was what he needed to do. I was scared and lonely and so I let him. But he didn't love me like a boyfriend/partner/husband should. And I didn't either. Not really. We just needed each other. And the resentment that grew from that situation led to the EA.
He's had a lot of CBT. He's realised a few things and apologised. He's said he doesn't hate me and he still cares. I suppose I feel the same.
He's still quite capable of being unpleasant if he wants, and i'm careful not to rock the boat. But if I don't, then he's a great support.
Plus. He knows I have no one else. He's doing it for the children as much as for me.