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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 80

999 replies

UrsulaBuffay · 23/08/2014 15:38

As we were saying...

OP posts:
FolkGirl · 02/09/2014 06:46

Oh, and I sent the email.

Kept it fairly short and sweet and enough so that it was unequivocal but not just a blunt "I'm not happy, it's over".

No reply, but I doubt he's read it yet.

dippinmytoe · 02/09/2014 07:29

Well done folk that must have been really hard , but good on you .
jarlin wow is all I can say! You thought he wouldn't contact , but he did. If slow does say he wants to try again , then you will as others have said, tell him exactly how you feel and what you want out of your relationship.

These guys can fairly shock us , makes me wonder why we bother with all the hassle! in saying that.... date 4 at some point this week :-)

Original poster
UrsulaBuffay · 02/09/2014 08:19

FWIW Jarlin I think that's the right attitude.

Well done Folk x

OP posts:
AndCatMakesThree · 02/09/2014 08:40

Jarlin, wow, that's big news! I'm so pleased that he contacted you, as I know you were hoping he would. I think your response sounds fine - because, as you say, you don't want to meet to discuss the e-mail exchange. Whereas if he's been missing you and wants to try again, there might be something to talk about. Has he replied yet?

Oh, and sorry for being coy... I finally got a proper kiss on date 7 with Walt and stayed at his (no DTD though - I like to take things quite slowly myself!) It was all lovely.

Folk, that was very brave. How are you feeling today?

jesy · 02/09/2014 08:49

Mr IT texted asking if I was ok , and to see if I fancied tea out one night , his mate doing a,curry night to introduce everyone to his new gf.
His mate had already messaged me on fB , asking .
His mate I'll call Bob said his daughter would love me to go as well so she wasn't stuck with a bunch of over 30s all night lol

I really do think he not using me , he never crude about what we did unlike ny ex who often texts saying crude stuff.

So I'm thinking of going , if anything I'm classes as being young lol plus a curry yummy lol

Jarlin · 02/09/2014 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuckedUp · 02/09/2014 10:17

Hi,
Well he did ask me out and we are meeting tomorrow. I also got chatting g to someone else and he asked me out too so now I am multi-dating?!!? Confused never done that before!

Jarlin, I haven't posted much but I've followed your story and I think you've definitely done the right thing. He definitely needs to man up and say something frankly if he really wants it!

Pinklaydee1302 · 02/09/2014 10:25

Jarlin you never know you might enjoy your date it's usually the case. I also have a coffee date today but I'm not in the mood for it cos
I'm missing my local man....he even smoked and I could deal with that which I couldn't with anyone else Hmm

Pinklaydee1302 · 02/09/2014 10:26

Ducked, don't put your eggs in one basket, best way to be Grin

DuckedUp · 02/09/2014 11:37

Ha! Is it though? Already last night I had to read back through conversations to remember who I had told what! Not sure I'm cut out for it, but I'll give it a damn good go GrinGrin

Justatoe · 02/09/2014 11:42

Folk Well done, incredibly hard email to send, but the right one for you I feel Thanks

Jarlin great response & sincerely hope you get a reply that works for YOU

Ducked seriously multi messaging & dating is, in my opinion, the only way to keep your sanity. I usually have about 3-5 I am messaging, arranging to meet, have met. Does get a bit confusing sometimes, but it means I won't take idiots to heart.

I am delaying any dating activity until next week as have a busy week & weekend....and I am skint. Have a few I am enjoying chatting to so would ideally meet them earlier but hey ho.

The ones I am going for now are very different to my usual 'type' ..much quieter & 'nicer' than the social party animals (the last two in RL, incidentally, I found getting very 'social' with other women so probably a good thing!)

DuckedUp · 02/09/2014 12:03

just I wish I could have that attitude! I am terrible at decision making, can't even make the right choice in a restaurant. I just always thought if I multi dated I'd never be able to tell which one I likes best! I guess half the time when it comes to dating, the decision is made for me though, so that helps!

These two are chalk and cheese as well, so it will be interesting to have two completely different dates!

I think it's a really good idea to go against type! I bet it works for you. It recently worked for my friend - she is so inlove at the minute with someone I never thought she go for at all!

Blossomflowers · 02/09/2014 12:13

Ducked Multi dating is the only way, I am usually talking to several people, one day I hope I will meet someone I like and will be able to put efforts into one person but as I mentioned before after all the messaging and texts, meeting people in RL is not always what you expect.

Think I have become far to cynical as do not get my hopes up when meeting someone. Have a date for THursday with MrItalian, he sounds great but not sure I fancy him from his photo but lets see, sometimes it can work the other way

Jarlin · 02/09/2014 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blossomflowers · 02/09/2014 12:36

jarlin I agree bad grammer/spelling is such a turnoff. Worst is hello Princess

Pinklaydee1302 · 02/09/2014 12:36

Yes that's what happens to me too sometimes Blossom, photo not nice but better in real life.

Justatoe · 02/09/2014 12:36

Ducked I worried that I wouldn't be able to choose between them! but you are right the decision is usually made for me. Not because they choose, but the choice becomes obvious on meeting.

Pinklaydee1302 · 02/09/2014 12:38

I got a message other day saying 'hi treacle' Hmm to which I replied 'you must be marmite then and I can't stand the stuff so goodbye!'

Idiot Hmm

dippinmytoe · 02/09/2014 12:45

Lol pink love it ! Also the automatic 5 kisses at the end of every single message. .. I just refuse to put any ! I agree with multi dating too , because putting all your hopes in to one guy is at most times a disaster !!

Blossomflowers · 02/09/2014 13:14

Just had a great one * hey Foxy lady" DELETE!

Justatoe · 02/09/2014 13:37

Blossom I guess it is easy for them to cut & paste...although you are of course a Foxy Lady....

minmooch · 02/09/2014 13:43

OK so just want to let off steam - no, just to write my disappointment. So heard nothing, not a thing from MrSA. I have just logged on to site and he has blocked me. I have no problem with him not liking me but after 4 dates and spending the night with me a text/something just to say thanks but no thanks would have been nice. I hate these cowards who can't just be respectful First time I had slept with anyone for 3 years, I know it was my choice, but really? Really? Aaarrrgghhh. What is the matter with these men?

Blossomflowers · 02/09/2014 13:47

minmooch Sorry to hear this what an ass, guess sadly true that once some men have dtd they loose interest. Move on he is not worth head space, next.

minmooch · 02/09/2014 13:47

And stupidly I want to cry about it Sad. I have had a rotten 3 years - my son's illness and death. I'm so fucking strong does/did he think telling me he wasn't interested would break me? No. The respect and kindness would have been nice.

Justatoe · 02/09/2014 13:52

Oh minmooch what a total cowardly arse, that is so disrespectful of him. She'd a tear today, indulge yourself & then onwards & upwards tomorrow Thanks Cake