Dating Thread 80

[UrsulaBuffay]

As we were saying...

Oh Jesy, what's made you so scared of everything?

No he knows me well enough

jesy is this Mr IT saying this or your ex?

And

I always have been.
Didn't have a bf till a few years back as I was scared of kissing , sex ect .
I'm good at faking confidence but deep down I'm frightened.

I'm getting better but a out four years ago I got so scared I'd get back pain due to the anxiety

Littlebluemouse I think we are all broken to some degree....maybe that's why we're here.

I been dumped by a guy who pursued me then decides 'I don't want anything serious' after we have had sex of course

Wicked

It was Mr IT ,I'd gone on a date yesterday but was stood up ,I just laughed when he said it ( didn't have enough cash to get home so ended up texting him )

He paid for my tea and took me home no strings just two mates

i dont think most people get through life without getting a little bit broken by things. Its life and everyone has a story. Dont beat yourselfs up for having flaws, just learn to accept and deal with them.

On the subject of men meeting lots of nice women and threads always meeting oddballs, i do tend to agree. I also wonder if sometimes the clash between what male posters think and what women think, are because its a very different dating experience as a female to a being a male. I know lots of women who online date, all lovely, stable, good jobs, nice homes, educated etc. The men i know who online date, dont quite have that going for them.

Also wanted to sympathise with those that are having to dump someone. Ive always found it hard, more so when there has been a relationship, when its just a few dates its easy. But some of you seem so unhappy, and its really not meant to be like that. Just go for it, you will feel like a huge weight has been lifted.

Ive just started a thread, Ive finally met someone and am in a serious relationship. Had a bit of a drama the last few days and the support he has offered me has been amazing, i had quite forgotten what it was like to have someone on your side who cared. Quite unbelievable.

jesy Hmmm. Maybe he was just trying to cheer you up then, in light of events. I mean, I'm certain these things are true obviously, but was being friendly as he thought you might be a bit sad?

Wicked

I think the same .
I k ow ppl seem to think he is a user and yes he hurt me but deep down he nice .

I'm on .y own at ho.e he could have easily taken advantage of me

Hi everyone,
This question has been asked to death probably...but how long do you chat to people online before arranging a date?

I've been talking to a really nice bloke since Thursday night. A couple of nice long chats, one last night, it ended on "speak soon".

There's been hints of a date but no direct asking. I don't want to ask him. I added him to my favourites and then he messaged me in response so i feel like I've made the first move. He's very complimentary and seems to like the online me.

How long do you let it go on for before you just write it off as them not being especially interested?

PS - singlesock I am completely horrified at the horrificness of your weekend!

ducked I do not wait too long as in my experience the real person often turns out to be nothing like the online version, normally I am dissappointed and do not want to waste time, But that is me and bit bored with OLD atm lol

I agree blossom. If he follows the pattern of the last few days, then he will probably message me later. I think if he hasn't asked me by the end of the night, I won't reply to him again

Ducked up - I guess if you like him you could throw a couple of hints like asking him if he's had many nice dates/how many women he's met up with?

I have never added anyone to my favourites (I don't think it's really occurred to me). I emailed someone a few weeks ago but hadn't realised that because I'd hidden my profile he couldn't see my pics. I looked back and don't think he looked at my profile (though not sure). He has been online this last few days. Maybe I should add him to my favourites and see if he messages me...maybe that looks a bit desperate though?? This is on pof.

duckedI ask them out if I like the sound of them. If you meet in RL then you will whether there is a spark, if not move on to the next.

Ducked I got talking to two different guys only yesterday and they've both asked me for a date. I suppose it's a number of things why they don't ask but like others have said the sooner the better

Jeez Jarlin! Wow, how unexpected- you've been doing such a good job of getting on with things. Have you any idea what you might do?

Jarlin!!!!! First of all how wonderful to get that e-mail. I'm sure it has stirred up so much turmoil in you but... tis a good thing that he sent it. I get the feeling he would have thought very seriously about sending that e-mail and I know you hoped he would contact you one day, even if you didn't believe he would.

The ball's in your court. He knows what you want. If you want a proper relationship you'll probably need to be more upfront than you have been with him and hold firm - easier said than done, I know. Sometimes you need to be without someone to really know just what they did add to your life. For some reason Mother Nature has a habit of getting us to focus on the shit bits and I'm convinced that when you've been the through the mill it's harder to focus on the good bits when you've got the inevitable shit bits flying around.

Whatever you decide to do I'm delighted that he's e-mailed you.

Jarlin That's wonderful! You said only a few days ago that you still hoped he'd get in touch with you. What are you going to do now?

I think Before is absolutely right, though. I think the ball is definitely in your court and you need to be completely open and up front with him about what you want.

So pleased that he has sent the email though. You must be all over the place!

Haha oh gosh, well it would be typical of him to be hesitant to say what he really means wouldn't it!

I think asking him what he wants to discuss is a perfectly reasonable response, actually. It's been a few weeks, you were beginning to come to terms with it and trying to move on... so an email from him is a bit of a bolt out of the blue and it's a little bit unsettling to receive an email asking if you want to meet to discuss your emails, but without any emotional context to it.

I'm not surprised you're a little annoyed and he deserves it