Hi all, I'm back again 
well not sad to be back, just sad.
Bant sorry to hear your news, it all sounded so positive.
Folk Maybe he is only inviting you to dinner now and not to stay because he senses that so much has happened and you are backing off. It would seem that he is taking tentative steps forward because of feeling insecure too. However, it all seems so angsty maybe it really would be better to take back some control and just send the email. If you have loved him, do love him and still have feelings for him, act with integrity and do what is best for both of you. If you feel that it is best that it end, end it. Not just to save yourself the heartache but because its best for both of you. A relationship can't work for one party alone, or fail because of one party alone. What is best for you, will invariably be the same for him. Of course it's subjective, but really it's also objective, it either works or it doesn't and if it doesn't work for you, it won't for him either. Best to be kind to both of you.
single wow, what weirdos. Poor you. I feel a bit sorry for that first guy, he must be very lonely, sad and desperate to think that scenario is ok. You can do sooo much better.
Me, well I sent an email, it's over. I probably should have come here and ranted and calmed down but didn't. General pattern of push,pull, making me feel very vulnerable. He was sending texts talking about a future but the reality is that he can't allow himself to develop feelings. He says he has but actions speak louder. After I stayed over he went silent for five days, he had done this before but only when I stayed over. He made this a huge thing, building it up to be some sort of game changing thing, whereas for me, it made little difference, I was happy to stay, I was just as happy to drive home, maybe this irked him. He wanted me to stay. He constantly mentioned that I had very little time to offer him, I was always busy. However I cancelled other plans to be with him whilst he would never compromise. So that's it. There were other issues too about our very different backgrounds and the way that we communicate. I already feel more sane than I have for 8 months!! but so sad because I will miss him. I hate that feeling that I will never see him again. I would have preferred to stay friends because I had developed feelings for him. I'm odd like that, if I care, I care and I can't switch it off. But I can be friends after, not sure he could.
I would like others opinions on something please. In 20 years I have only met two men that I have fancied. Not because I don't meet men, I do, lots. This isn't normal is it? I can't face looking at pages of profile pictures of unremarkable men. Should I just get over it, what can I do? Is it possible to switch this off and just agree to meet and see if personality wins me over? But if that could happen wouldn't some of the men I already know and like become more attractive? I think I am broken