Before Unfortunately for me, he is very much like my mother and, although he's younger than me, he makes me feel just like she did. And, as with all bullies, he is always the victim.
A few years ago my childminder's son was ill and she didn't want DD to go. I'd just started a new job, I emailed round the family (mum, dad, brother) and asked if anyone could offer any childcare - no expectations, just I was asking there first if anyone could. He replied with a huge rant about how we should have thought about that before having children, "your child, your problem" and how entitled and selfish we were. It was actually quite aggressive with rather sinister undertones and a really disproportionate response. When we challenged him afterwards, he said we'd made him feel guilty because he was unable to help us and it wasn't really fair of us to make people feel that way. That kind of sums it up 
Just like we did with our mother, I think we all try to bend over backwards to appease him and not 'wind him up'. I think I'm beginning to see where my poor boundaries come from
Speaking of which, I still haven't sent the email... I don't know why I'm finding it so hard - well I do - but I can feel that I'm detaching emotionally. He's sent a couple of emails over the last 2 days but only one brief sentence emails. Oh apart from a lengthier one yesterday morning. He told me recently, that he suffers from depression and I think he might be in a bit of a 'down' period at the moment. But I'm not strong enough to support someone with depression. I have enough of my own demons. I just can't do it.
But I do think some of it iwth him is a bit self indulgent - ignoring your girlfriend and making her feel like shit because someone you fell out of love with and finished with over 3 years ago, is dying and you feel desperately sad about it, is bollocks. Either he's just being self indulgent and wallowing; he still loves her; he's seen her more recently than he says; or he doesn't love me. None of those is good. At least, I'm assuming it's still that...
But he's still asking to make arrangements for us to see each other again, which is what I don't understand. I was really surprised when he said last Monday that he wanted to see me again. I think we've exchanged a handful of emails since then. No kisses, no nice words, no "miss you"s or "love you"s. And I'm not checking anymore to see if he's emailed me. I've known since I was there I wanted to end it. I'm just delaying it really.
He doesn't feel like my boyfriend anymore. I'm just not very good at it and, although he isn't here physically or emotionally, I am scared of just feeling very alone. 
I'm hoping I'll feel better soon, all my activities/hobbies start up again over the next couple of weeks after the summer hiatus.