Dating Thread 80

[UrsulaBuffay]

As we were saying...

What is the best thing to do here? I don't know.

Bumped into him yesterday well in fact I saw him in the pub he was with the one mate who New about the fwb situation.
I thought time to be brave so as me and my cousin were leaving I went up to table and said hey don't a mate get a hug
I'm glad I did it I don't want to appear beaten and still want our friendship.

I managed to get to the bus stop before I started to cry lol
Got home to find a message on fB from his mate saying he a bloody idiot

He's viewed my profile yet again and has changed his photo back to the original one. I don't know what to think. I rarely see him on there. He views my profile all the time. Do I say I won't meet him Wednesday? Do I bring it up and see his reaction? We're on date 5 now, that's long enough for him to see if he likes me, I reckon.

Feel like getting rid, tbh. I think I need to look in his eyes and see his reaction.

He's just texted me 'good morning.'

I'm going to bring it up tomorrow. I won't mention the sex thing. I'll just ask him why and I'm going to be honest and tell him it put me off. Then I can see what he does from there

dont It's horrible and this is why I wouldn't do OD again. When it was just about practising flirting/dating; or meeting people to find out what my type was nowadays; or to get a bit of confidence it was fine, but for a relationship, I wouldn't touch it with a bargepole, I don't think.

I think your final post is a good idea. I don't think you're going to feel comfortable with just walking away. He might have just been 'messing about' with it, but I would want to be very certain if I were you. Either way, he was still 'tweaking' his profile.

Bring on next week when we've got work to distract us, I say!

Not sure what I should do , Mr IT texted this am , was I going to the football still as if so he'd drive me with a mural friend.
It's a charity thing and I already paid for my ticket .
It's not like we will be alone and tbh as he playing I'll be chatting to his mate more than him.

I wouldn't spend any more time with him getting invested with him in any way, Jesy. He's really messed you around - I think you should try to move on personally. There will be a better person out there for you.

Don't - I would still meet up with him on Wednesday and have it out with him. As you say, 5 dates is long enough.

Folk I'd go with something simple too. I agree that you shouldn't make it about him so he can't promise to change this or do that differently or turn it on you. It's so sad but at least you know you gave him a chance.

Don't he's changed his pic back? . Can he see that you've found the 'new' him? I can understand changing names if you're back on there after a failed dating attempt but at this point it just seems very childish, not to mention stupid when he knows the two of you are getting on well, and I'd be very put off. I have to say I would trust him an awful lot less and not want to get sexual yet in your shoes. You're right to ask him outright when you can see the whites of his eyes.

Jesy isn't this how the FWB thing started last time? He suggested you went somewhere, you convinced yourself it was fine as a bunch of other people were there and you only wanted his friendship and the next thing is you're having sex again. In all honesty if you keep hanging around him as 'just his mate' I fear you're going end up feeling all this hurt time and time again.

Trouble is I made friends with his friends that makes it hard to cut all contact.
Over the long weekend I've had couple of messages one from Avery sweet girl who suggested I went out into town with her next weekend to get over him
I'm old enough to be a her mum her reply yeah if u had me at ten years old lol lovely compliment I think .
I explained that it was just fwb but she said bull we all saw how protective he is .

Why is life never simple lol hope everyone is ok today

I agree with before , I think he wants his cake jesy . to get over it you have to cut all ties , otherwise you will always be the one he comes back to for attention when dates go wrong...He is using you.
folk it does seem like it has run its course. .. They say sept is better than January for new starts .. so say goodbye and start afresh on you ....
dont I would hold out on sex for a bit longer , easier said than done !!
I have date 2 tomorrow night, we are both finally free after holidays....

Thanks for the 'heads up' Before - I think I was romanticising things there!

I think I'll bring it up casually-as in 'I noticed you changed your name on match the other day.' See what he says. I don't trust him. I do like him. I think he likes me. I'm just not sure what his game is.

He texted 'I can't wait to see you tomorrow xx'

I honestly think he didn't mean to hurt me
Even my ex says he a good bloke , I fell in love these things happen

Hi, this has moved on really quickly again!
Does anyone have any views of Tinder?
I had a really nice chat with a bloke on there last night and he has messaged again today, asking if I'd like to go for a drink.
How do I know if he's just after a hook-up? Should I ask him outright?

Jesy being careless of people's feelings is not much better than being intentionally hurtful! You need to believe that you deserve better & exude this so that people don't think they can take advantage...

Duck if you don't have childcare expenses/complications & you think you'd like to meet him - why not? You can delay the actual meeting till you are more sure...
I wouldn't ask if he wants a hookup - he might well be offended or just lie anyway....

He was honest with me , always has been .
We were just fwb but I fell in love with him, he met a girl who he liked so ended what we had tbh he is more decent than I am , six or 7 weeks ago I slept with my ex and then three days after slept with Mr IT , so I'm no Angel.

We friends no more , I have to try n stop loving him easier said than done I know.
I've said no to the lift to the event I'll get the bus and a friend said I can stay at hers if I wanted to have a drink ext and shell bring me home on her way to work.
Basically I haven't got to see him but I can still join in an event that I helped plan.

Haven't emailed him yet.

Certain I don't want to see him again,but my feelings for him are unchanged and I can't quite take that final step that means I'll never see him again and he will just be gone.

I will, I'm just putting it off. So, so sad. Sat with my guitar last night and sang my way through my entire leonard cohen repertoire in tears with wine [tragic emoticon]

I keep thinking of all the things he's done, even recently, that show he cares. But it's just not enough

Thanks mari yeah I think I will. I got chatting to him an hour after I signed up but then after that I did more swiping, and then a bit of google research and could see, it is mostly a hook up app! So now I'm sceptical! He seems really nice though, nice looking, lots of shared interests. I'm a bit doubtful of his height, I'm very tall you see. There is no nice way to ask about that though either is there?

Hi jesy While I don't think he was being intentionally hurtful to you, I think you can stay friends but don't get into a situation where you are sleeping together as it isn't fair on you because you have feelings for him and you can't separate it from your friendship with him.

Also, I don't think it's healthy for you to obsess over people saying that they thought it was more than FWB, as if it was more than that, he wouldn't have told you he liked someone else. In effect he didnt actually 'dump' you if you see what I mean? Also, all his friends telling you he's been an idiot probably isn't helping.

By all means, be a friend but for now I think you should put some distance between the two of you while you take care of yourself. You made friends easily with his friends, so you are the kind of person other people want to get to know. Take some time out for you

I'm happy to be his friend. I'm going tonight I put in a fair bit of work for this night but I'll be tucked up in bed by 11