twatty things I don't miss about my ex...

[confusedNC]

Some of us need reminding what we're not missing and also need cheering up. So I'll start...

1. Making his feckin packed lunch every day, even when I'd been up all night with ds because it was 'the least I could do' apparently. Oh and having to think of inventive healthy options cos you were overweight but then you did have a car full of choc wrappers and crisp packets.

Insert your own here.....

Lots but the one which pisses me off still -

If I was ill, so was he but slightly worse! No matter if he had been fine two minutes before, if I mentioned just the smallest hint of illness or soreness, he too was about to keel over! Fucked me off beyond belief... Argh, so glad I no longer have that - if I'm feeling like shit, I can wallow in it to my hearts content without having to do the old sympathy shit. ..

...and can anyone remind me why I would want a man!! Lol!

redtulip - that sounds uncannily like my ancient ex from when we were still at school.
For me the defining moment was when I said 'you love your boats and bikes more than you love me!'

There is no longer a massive age gap
I can let dd leave her toys out if she wants
I don't have to schedule my housework
I don't have to pretend I'm happy when inside I'm so miserable

Hmmm. I met him when I was 17 and he was 21 - we had a lot of fun until it became clear that I was going to pass my A Levels and go to university. He had endless tantrums about it and threatened to kill himself. He cried all the time.

He once read my diary.

He was massively homophobic (we lived in fucking Brighton) and quite racist.

After I went to university, he kept ringing the flat phone and not saying anything if someone else mentioned it. I mentioned to him that a couple of the girls had been speaking with the police about some silent phone calls and he admitted it.

He really wanted to come up with me for freshers week so he come come on the pub crawl with me. He actually wanted to stop me talking to any men.

When he was bored, he would pick a fight with a nightclub bouncer / barman and get us thrown out. He quite often tantrummed if shop / restaurant staff weren't being "nice" enough to him.

He couldn't keep a job (he was a software engineer so being made redundant is an occupational hazard but he was also a lazy bugger who thought the world owed him a living).

We lived together when I was a student and for every pound he put on the gas / electric, I put two on. He had a job at the time.

He borrowed £4.5k off me (inheritance from my granddad) and was super ungracious about paying it back. He had borrowed it so he could do a masters and then, once he was in work, decided he wanted to be a pilot instead and was going to spend £5k getting a pilots licence. He got really funny with me when I said that he had to pay me back first. I had said it in front of his parents so he ended up paying me £100 a month.

Once, my mum gave him £20 to buy a round of drinks when we went to her pub quiz because she was so worried that he wouldn't offer. He bought one round and kept the change.

He split up with me exactly a week before I started my first set of professional exams and then tried to get back together with me the day before my last exam. He was shocked when I wouldn't let him come round.

After we split up, I felt like I was on a permanent holiday. Even though I was working like billyo at my first job. And I had loads of money.

He's married to someone else now. Poor bloody cow.

This is a good thread.

He was quite stupid but pretended to be clever. He used to say that having a university degree put him in the top 1% (?) of people in the UK (?)

He NEVER read fiction.

He only liked "difficult" music (prog rock, Aphex Twin, loads of awful bands from the Seventies). If we went out and they were playing something normal, he would whinge that it was "too commercial".

He was obsessed with Dad's Army, Blackadder etc. He used to listen to tapes of Dad's Army in the car.

When we went out to a pub / club, he would wear trousers and a jumper then get really hot and sweaty. When I said, well take your jumper off then" he would say that he wasn't wearing a t-shirt underneath.

He would borrow money and then "thank me" by buying me flowers. With the money I'd lent him.

What a brilliant thread!

Let me see...

1. Snoring loudly enough TO WAKE THE FUCKING DEAD.
2. Removing his dirty socks and leaving them on the floor right beside the laundry basket.
3. Expecting me to have sex first thing in the morning, whether I wanted to or not, because he had drunk too much wine the night before and couldn't get it up.
4. Scratching his butt crack and smelling his finger afterwards.

And I'm on a roll.... somebody stop me!

1. Telling lengthy, meandering anecdotes that required intent listening, then tuning out completely and glazing over, as soon as I was talking.
2. Serious porn habit, yet lying and covering it up constantly.
3. Dangling cock in my direction and saying "pull on that" as a form of foreplay.
4. Pulling at the skin at my waist and saying "when are you going to get rid of that?"
5. Saying "when are you going to get that gap back between your legs like you used to have when we met" (16 years and three children previously)

10. Telling me which of my friends he'd like to shag.

Fucking texting me at this time in the bleeding morning and pissing me off!

Snotty tissues
Greenies in glasses
Socks everywhere
Having to kid proof the living room every morning cause he's left all his shit in there

Insisting that he needed to wank every day 'for medical reasons'

Rubs hands, deep breath:

• re-arranging the washing on the airer as my way of hanging it out wasn't quite right;
• extremely ungracious and often bad tempered whilst my dad helped us renovate our first home together, then told me actually he liked it better when it was cold, draughty and old fashioned;
• told me on the underground escalator whilst going to visit one of my friends (who he hadn't yet met) that he still loved his previous girlfriend in a "historical" way;
• didn't "agree/believe" in Valentines Day, Mothers Day etc, yet always insisted on sending a large bouquet to his mother 200 miles away as she was older than my mum and on her own;
• sulked for about half an hour one Christmas Day morning as the wallet I bought him was a bit smaller than what he would have chosen, and the wrong colour..... he'd bought me nothing, apparently didn't know what to get me;
• very insecure that I'd been to private school and university. Told me in the car I'd had "a bought and paid for little life". Pleased to report I swerved over to the kerb and physically tried to push him out the car, whilst he desperately back-tracked and apologised;
• once spent a whole afternoon in a large town trying to buy a kettle. Nothing was good enough - too middle class looking, too cheap, too "wanky". After I left him I noticed a nice, shiny "wanky" new kettle in our kitchen, how I didn't pour the bloody thing over his head I don't know;
• used to cut his own hair, took a whole afternoon with various mirrors set up around the room - never understood why he didn't just go to the hairdressers.

Luckily never married him and we didn't have children. He ended up begging me to go back to him. I don't think he thought we would be happy, he just couldn't stand losing control. What a sad little man. Every day of my life since, even the bad ones, have been good because he's not in them.

Here goes...
When he did come to bed...Snoring - even kicking him in the back didn't wake him up.
Sleeping on the sofa - being told that he paid for the house so he could sleep anywhere he liked.
Using his Ipad all the time
Telling me that his rest days should be rest days but I never got a rest day with two children, dog, job and a house to run.
Cleaning his car for 5 hours!
Spending £25 a time to have his car valeted after cleaning it himself
Being angry.
Telling me there was nothing he liked in the fridge when I had done the shopping and he had requested nothing in particular.
Not spending time with the children (never took them to the park or swimming).
Letting my little girl walk back from the hotel swimming pool on her own while he went for a sauna.
Spending money on take away coffee everyday
etc.

My husband has recently left me and my two children for a married woman who is still with her husband. He has treated me like dirt so I will add more things later.

Sorry whyme and for you. It's hard. I've cried for two months even though I know he's selfish twat I'm well shot of.

Just remembered one more point and I'm reeling and thought to ''resurrect'' this thread.

What I don't miss about the dickhead is how he ruined DS's childhood and ALL Xmas(es)- by telling him Santa was false. My DS was only 5!!!!

Ex taking OW to "our" gong bath meditation (don't ask I'm a hippy!) while I took the DCs away to DLP & when I found out & said I was hurt, accused me of being a horrible person who was trying to stop him sharing a humanitarian gift to others, either telling me I was too fat for sex, or taking all his clothes off & sitting up in bed with his arms folded sighing if I read a book, dumping me just before my birthday every year, refusing to let me sleep on holiday because I hadn't given him enough "attention", having to drink at least a bottle and a half of wine every night or got wound up, couldn't bear me watching tv, if I was tired complained that I was boring & went to bed too early, if he was tired complained that I disturbed him, hated my house, hated my kids, hated my clothes, threatened to leave me every 3-4 weeks even while pregnant, accused me of "stopping" him getting a 2.1 in his part time physics degree which he did "for our future" when we had a new born baby, on top of working 50 hours a week, sleeping with his married 1st cousin, taking his wedding ring off whenever he left the house, telling his family lies about me so they hated me, telling me he was in love with someone else on our wedding day, leaving me out of social engagements on purpose, having week long sulks about my tone of voice or look on my face ........... Yeah I'm divorcing him!!!

I don't miss:

• his smell, he hardly showered or bathed
• his teeth, he hardly brushed and never flossed
• his droning on and on, he never used 5 words if he could use 500
• his character, he used threats of suicide to control me and other abusive techniques

Good riddance!

Ooh - I've got loads!

1 Smoking and smoke smell - Yellow fingers
2 Poor hygiene – Really, really long (and dirty) nails – fingers and toes
3 Trying to initiate sex whilst ponging to high heaven
4 Refusing to go to the dentist
5 Moaning because I didn’t want sex with him
6 Telling me once that he had washed every day for 3 months and I hadn’t initiated sex – did he want a medal? I found out later anyway that this was when he was having an affair.

Hey hey - on a roll!

7 Drinking at night – and whilst drunk making hurtful comments, which he then said he didn’t mean, only said them because he was drunk (I know now that the opposite is true – in vino veritas!)
8 Refusing to separate after the OW went back to her boyfriend (abroad) and saying that he was suicidal because of this and that “we should support each other through this” –FFS I wouldn’t need support if it wasn’t for him
9 Saying he thought I was having an affair anyway (when was I supposed to find time?)
10 Skid marks on the loo
11 Getting just himself ready to go out was like mission impossible – he counted it as one of his chores – twunt.

Sorry - I'll try to stop now

12 Holding court when out – leaving me to my own devices at his family parties (where I didn’t know people) and chatting for hours and I literally mean hours – always to women oddly enough – and then claiming that he just couldn’t get away.
13 Picking a row with me at my 21st birthday party and storming off in a sulk – leaving me to tell my family – and his parents! Then phoning me up just as everyone else was leaving and dumping me over the phone (was SO sorry next day)
14 When we had a row telling me not to dare cry or he would get angry
15 Smoking a fag in the car when taking me to A&E to go on a nebuliser because of a severe asthma attack – this was apparently because “they wouldn’t let him smoke when he got there”

Shelleygal - me neither. I couldn't live with a man again for the same reason. Happiness is your own place, as far as I'm concerned.

Glad this has cropped up.
Husband no.1, met when I was 17 him 30.
The hour long lectures about everything I did wrong. A 2 hour lecture about me being a grabbing bitch who was above my station always wanting too much because....I needed a bigger note pad for work
Coming in to him waiting in the dark to berate me for destroying the relationship every time I popped out with friends.
The forced sex. The shouting fits if I refused.
Putting me down in front of people. Not letting me sleep. Verbal abuse. Taking me to his rich family's private doctor to have me put on valium as I was " mentally ill ".
Stalking me for a year after I fled culminating in a savage beating in public when he seen me out with friends. Shagging my best friend as a way to still stalk me after the non molestation order. I hate him. I hope he drops dead.

Husband no.2
Mummy's boy. Lazy arse who demanded respect but is incapable of giving it.
Shouting constantly. Refused to get up with dd ever even though he'd stopped working and smoked weed and played games all night. She was my job. I worked nights
He isn't abusive just mummy's little perfect man who believes her that he deserves worship from any woman he is with. He's twice divorced and been chucked by 2 fiancée at this point. Sorry. Very cathartic this.

weeing in the shower

underpants lying on the floor with big brown marks...yuuk!

him lying on the sofa and stopping me vaccing because he was watching TV

war books war movies

porn

smelly bitter dooda

he belittled me
couldn't wear dresses
encouraged my eating disorder by keep calling me fat
demanding sex
sexually blackmailing me
abusing me
loosing all my friends
oh this list could go on....

These men must be so inadequate. You must really feel small and unable to function in a relationship if you have to break someone into staying. We are strong. We are also innocent. Every one of us can answer questions about our past honestly and without fear of anything we are ashamed of coming out. These men can't do any of that.