twatty things I don't miss about my ex...

[confusedNC]

Some of us need reminding what we're not missing and also need cheering up. So I'll start...

1. Making his feckin packed lunch every day, even when I'd been up all night with ds because it was 'the least I could do' apparently. Oh and having to think of inventive healthy options cos you were overweight but then you did have a car full of choc wrappers and crisp packets.

Insert your own here.....

Karen - you're not hijacking, you're contributing, and you're more than welcome. I'll say it again, the fact that I'm not the only woman with twat to rage at makes me feel hoooman!, Hoowoman!, Normal!

Relationship to the twat is not significant.

But I've remembered some more irritants:

He stopped me squeezing his spots. I really hate him for this and wish I could have got that onto my divorce petition (that he denied me)

He always needed a dump just as I was serving dinner.

He would put on a TV programme that he'd downloaded, then fall asleep, so the darn thing was on a loop for hours, so I watched/heard it over and over. If I tried to turn it off I'd get 'Oi I was watching that'. No you weren't twat. I can say that I've seen some films/shows about 100 times - and I hated his choice of films in the first place.

His farting. I loved that farting thread the other day - side splittingly funny, but his farting annoyed me because he was possibly the most gaseous person I have ever known.

Snap on the loo /dinner situation. Even Christmas dinner. He even wrote in his statement that i was insistent that he came and had his dinner when it was ready, even if he was occupied otherwise (on the loo). He just didn't get it that most people are quite pleased when dinner is ready, especially the children and accept that it has to be eaten more or less when it is ready and not an hour later. I even informed him in 15 minute intervals when it was going to be ready. To no avail.

Alternatively he had to go out and buy a bottle of wine in the last minute, because he drank the wine that I had bought for dinner earlier in the day. In the end I hid it in the vegetable drawer.

I love this thread because I can relate to most of the content!!!

Sitting on his fat arse playing video games for 16 hours a day whilst drinking energy drinks & eating junk.

Going to bed at weird hours. Even if he had work at 10am, he would go to sleep at 6am. Why? How is that normal? Sometimes, he would sleep at 2pm and wake up at 2am. He didn't work nights at all. So odd.

NEVER brushing his teeth. Gross. How did I even stand it?

Not tidying up. Getting his mum to change his bed sheets and remove his disgusting wank tissues. Ew.

Never indulging in my hobbies/interests. Always having to listen to his music, watch his favourite shows.

Never going out. At all. And when we did, I would have to drive because he couldn't be arsed to learn! Even though he had a new car sat on the drive he had bought himself!!! Even then, he would leave cans of drink in my cup holders and not bin them.

Making me hours late for family gatherings (my 21st bday) because he wanted to finish off his game and have a shower. In fact, he met my parents TWICE during our 5 year "relationship" because he was a rude, socially inept dick head.

No affection towards me, whatsoever.

wipes brow good loooord that was therapeutic!!! He was a disgusting pig and I am glad I found the strength to LTB :)

Expecting me to wipe his arse as he lay on the bed he had just shat on because he was too 'weak and ill' to reach the loo about 4 feet away when he had brought home and shared a ghastly bug that he claimed he had caught on the boat he was working on. That i also had the bug - and much worse! - was neither here nor there. he lay in bed and i coped with the sick DCs. It was only later i realised that he had not caught it on the boat (how inconvenient it was for his boss to call) but from a bit on the side

I know it's possible that some of them might be the same man but its highly unlikely.

I half expect some of the twats described on MN to be exH.

Oh, on dinner.
If he made it, then he'd call already annoyed that we weren't there.
If I made it, I'd almost have to beg him to come to the table.

Did I mention the word twat?

What a great thread! (Best therapy since I parted from the douchebag!)

Belching
Just not caring about image presentation.
Lack of social skills.
Lack of ambition.
Coward.
So so insecure it hurts!
Jealous of my handsome, very bright brothers!
Scared and frightened of my determination to succeed.
Jealous of my achievements.

What a total waste of space!!!!!!!

Same here- it's like we were married o the same Jerk!!!

maybesadie: I meant to say he did the same to me.
Oh I could go on and on.
And can I say this?: Foreplay, turning me on and then stop.
He has PUT ME OFF sex forever- what a total total son of a bitch.
Thank you for this thread!!!!

I hope that we weren't all married to the same Jerk (otherwise my next username is: WellYouAllFuckingKnewAndWhyDidntYouTellMe)

But, the fact that we're all here can only help tell those women who are yet to be Exes, that life is indeed improved in the absence of H/P. .

WellWhoKnew: I know, isn't it strange they all have similar habits?
And to think that I spent lots of money on therapy ( very American),this to me has been the best therapy so far.

Competitive everything. He had to be the most tired, the most hard done to, the most in need of sleep, the hardest working etc etc even when I was up for hours bf'ing DD after a 36 hr labour and loosing 3 pints of blood he was complaining how tired he was
He used to do the 'staying in bed till the last second' thing too, so I got up, did breakfast, got dd dressed etc and five min before we had to go he would roll out of bed into a scruffy t shirt and joggers and find something to complain about
He was ( still is) stupidly tight with money, always buys the cheapest possible everything and wonders why its shite quality
Wouldn't lift a finger to help as I was too much of a 'control freak' and he wouldn't do it properly. As in, expecting dishes to be clean after washing or clothes to have less creases after ironing than before

I had one who managed to make me responsible for his entire life then blamed me when he wasn't happy.

THIS ^

He refused to make any decision, any little thing like what we were having for dinner. I was forced to make every single choice, so I could then be blamed, like when he decided after we'd gotten to the restaurant and ordered drinks, and after my food order was taken, that he didn't like anything on the menu and wouldn't eat at all and would sit and sulk and storm at me instead, and I couldn't be upset because it's where I wanted to go.

He refused to talk through anything. If he asked me a question, "Do you want to do X?" If I then asked a follow-up to aid in the decision, no matter what it was, his response was to instantly become furious and say that I wasn't answering the question, or that that was a yes or no question. Leading to things like the dinner scenario above, because I wasn't allowed to ask where he wanted to go, or what kind of food he wanted.

I was also the "reason" he smoked. He loved to "quit", wait for us to have a fight, then immediately start chain-smoking again because I was "stressing him." Decades of smoking before he met me, my fault apparently.

maybesadie:
Yes, And did he blame you for when he was driving and took a wrong turn or whatever? Well, I would take the blame- for everything!
Once during the recession, he turned around and said I was becoming a financial liability!!

Oh, he'd be livid if I didn't have exact directions to wherever we were going beforehand, even though I was not a driver, and he or I could put it into his gps in seconds - never asked me to do so, just, "How do we get there? What do you mean you don't know? Why don't you know?? You should have directions." It was never enough to say "Oh, in X town," which I knew he was familiar with driving to (and he did a LOT of driving for work, was very comfortable and knew how to get loads of places), no, I had to be able to tell him the exact route once we got to X town, even though it would be half an hour of driving beforehand, and it took seconds to look up.

Been bit busy decluttering my life, but so glad thread's been helpful to some of you.

I started it off back of wwk 's brill thread, so as not to mess that up. Wanted some catharsis. Wish could share today with you but can't as way too identifying. Just to say anyone in any doubt about leaving a controlling bully, do it. You can do it. Tell everyone who loves you the truth. Friends are a precious gift. Mine today have done more than I could have imagined possible

Will catch up on posts when can.

Thanks you all. Today I feel like I have found some sisters. I feel good, really good.

KOKO, ConfusedNC.

Glad today you've learnt that the world is full of brilliant people. Shame your STBXH didn't make the mark.

It wasn't your fault though.

WWK.

This is more downright mean than twatty, but I certainly don't miss it...

Over-punishing the kids when they misbehaved / didn't do as they were told
E.g.
Making DS (3) sit on the picnic bench for 7 hours and not let him join in any of the activities with the other 6 kids at an outdoor adventure play park because DS had wet himself within 20 minutes of arriving. (Ex wouldn't back down despite all our best efforts to make him see sense)
and
Ex grounding the kids (and therefore me too in the process) just as he was leaving on a business trip.

Ex grounding the kids (and therefore me too in the process) just as he was leaving on a business trip.

I really hope you ignored that and what he did to your DS, that is just nasty, I'd be surprised if your DS ever forgot about that.

Hi Zorah
DS has thankfully never ever mentioned it, and I don't wish to remind him of it.

Yes, I did sometimes ignore it, but that meant he was furious when he got back as I'd not done as I'd been told.

I love WWK'd thread :o

She is most fabulous.

Another one! Screaming in my face for hours for nothing at all and then suddenly bursting into tears and being soooooo sorry

So after the fear and emotional battering I ended up comforting him for losing control . But of course he didn't do emotions, so if I dared be upset it would make him angry again.

oh NotExactly that's so sad for your ds Hope you're all so much happier now.

I'm glad he doesnt mention it, Notexactly. Not really a childhood memory you really want to remember in your 20's and beyond.

breakingthebank I'm glad he doesn't seem to remember. It's never come up in conversation, just some of the good things he remembers from that holiday.

To be clear, I did stand up against my Ex when he tried to do it again near the end of that holiday. I got the expected fury and sulking as a result. I just couldn't face a whole fortnight of that as the other incident was only about 2 days into a fortnights caravanning holiday with friends. It would have been hell. On the second occasion, I overruled him, changed DS and went off into the park and had a lovely day with my friends and DCs. Ex sulked in the caravan all day as I had showed him up as the bully he was embarrassed him in front of our friends.

I do regret not challenging him the first time (ain't hindsight wonderful) but at least our friends caught a glimpse of the person I actually lived with, rather than the person they thought I did.