Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread 79

999 replies

louby44 · 13/08/2014 16:47

Wow! 79 already...

Welcome to all daters, new, experienced or tearing your hair out at the frustration!

OP posts:
bumblejee · 14/08/2014 22:01

Hi Blossomflowers, I'm on quite a few, pof, ok cupid, match & tinder.

Blossomflowers · 14/08/2014 22:12

bumble have you put new photos on recently, I have just gone onto match today not for a while and getting and amazing response ?? who knows

gigglygirlygirl · 14/08/2014 22:14

Jarlin I hope I feel better when I see him at the weekend. We will spend Saturday to Tuesday afternoon together. This week I have just made myself nuts with all this insecurity and I don't know why.

gottafindaman4yagirl · 14/08/2014 22:17

Blossom, is match a free site? POF seems to be the only one that's free but hardly any singles where i live, is it worth messaging guys miles away. I don't drive so have to get a taxi to meet dates.

bumblejee · 14/08/2014 22:20

No Gotta, match is a paying site but I've had the least sucess on it but unfortunately I paid for a six month subscription,won't be renewing when it runs out in October!

Jarlin · 14/08/2014 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blossomflowers · 14/08/2014 22:23

No gotta it is a paid site, just got so sick of POF same old faces. I am rural so limited only fist day will keep you posted though.

Jarlin · 14/08/2014 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blossomflowers · 14/08/2014 22:29

jarlin 30 minutes would be my max, and first date always make them come to me, probably seriously limiting me options lol

Jarlin · 14/08/2014 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UrsulaBuffay · 14/08/2014 22:43

I've only ever dated one guy who was within 15 minutes drive and I worry about seeing him around anywhere now because I had one of my famous infatuations with him haha. I like the fact I won't bump into any of the others!

Jarlin · 14/08/2014 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blossomflowers · 14/08/2014 22:57

Chatting to 2 lovely looking guys on Match, one 15 minutes away. Driving that is so little chance of bumping into in the local supermarket x

UrsulaBuffay · 14/08/2014 23:03

I never realised he was so close Jarlin! Probably because I knew Folk had to travel I got muddled a bit. I'm used to not being involved with locals, like I'm from the NE and live in the NW in a village where no one knows me so to me travelling is natural.

I'm battling another infatuation and I just wish for once someone I like wanted what I want, I'm always on a different page!

Justatoe · 14/08/2014 23:51

O.M.G back from date!
So we live in suburbs on opposite sides of largish city. After dragging conversation onto sex, sex & more sex he tells me he has booked a room at an inn, in my suburb! 'Am in being too forward?' Yes, mate you are!!
Next!!

Bant · 15/08/2014 07:12

Just - that would have strongly rung alarm bells that he's married, too.

So given the fact that women on here generally date men from their 30s up to 50s:

Statistically, 1/3 of men's profiles on dating sites belong to married men. If you exclude the demographic of late teens and 20s, who usually aren't married yet, that means that on average roughly half of the profiles you look at are married men. If you discount the ones who are physically hideous and less likely to have found a wife, there is possibly a better than average chance.

Someone who does something like book a hotel room for a first date is not only making huge assumptions, but likely couldn't take you back to their own place in case you were unsettled by meeting their wife.

The married men, I'd think, would also be the ones who are immediately after sex and want wank fodder.

Depressing thought for this early on a Friday morning. Happy dating everyone! :)

frames · 15/08/2014 07:45

Wow, that is really grim, booking a room! MrH was pretty upfront yesterday that I could expect to earn my keep;-) (my words there not his) Is it some sort of sad hobby for men to use a "dating site" to actually get a ONS? Surely they could just pick someone up? Do they get a kick out of leading on women who want a relationship.... and can't see past their game? Grr. Not nice.

Justatoe · 15/08/2014 07:56

Thanks Bant & Frames Those stats are startling, but probably true.
He did say his wife had Legal Aid in recent court case...as that is only available in DV, alarm bells rang v loud indeed! He could, however, be married. Either way, a definite no!

Have a lunch date on Sunday & dinner date on Tues so onwards & upwards!

FolkGirl · 15/08/2014 08:03

Just sadly, I think bant probably makes a really good point. But, wow..! That is presumptuous in the extreme Sad

FolkGirl · 15/08/2014 08:04

X post!

Definitely a massive no!

frames · 15/08/2014 08:17

Just even mentioning the exw on a first date worries me....I need them to have other stuff to talk about. I am unable to get away with explaining my past for too long as I am not local. My recently aquired pragmatism appealed to MrH...but it could be about the only thing we do have in common!

Bant · 15/08/2014 08:20

So who has good advice on how to tell whether a man is married or not?

This time of year should be better than most because you're more likely to see a wedding-ring tan-line. But then some men don't wear them.

I'd say that booking a hotel for a first date is a fairly strong indication.

What else?

frames · 15/08/2014 08:33

So a married man would text not call. Texts and messages are very intermittant.Calling a man early evening would give an indication he could be busy at home....He is dating out of town...keen to meet at your place....but thats only if he keeps it from the wife. There are married men who dont hide the fact theynplay away, and in this situation its the OW who is played.

gottafindaman4yagirl · 15/08/2014 08:40

I would like to know how to tell if a man is married, not emotionally scared or just using going on dates to boost their self esteem.

I genuinely want to meet a decent guy who is ready to have a relationship, the last date was acting weird saying he fancied me and cared about me but wanted to be friends. I don't want to be friends with a man I fancy.

Has anyone had experience with guys asking for dates that are ten or more years younger?

The hotel room guy is unbelievable.

bumblejee · 15/08/2014 08:41

I'd have said not having a photo on the site is a big indicator of them being married/attached & also wanting to converse straightaway off the site by email etc.