girlie Thank you. I read something last night that really made me think: Strive for excellence, not perfection . I think that's something I perhaps need to think about. I'm never going to be 'perfect', so I need to try and find a way of being the best version of me that I can be. But even that feels huge!
As far as my daughter goes, I don't say negative things about myself in front of her and wouldn't dream of making comments about her. Besides, she's completely different to me in every way. She's going to be beautiful when she's older 
I really admire your strength as far as smallfeet is concerned, too. 
Ursula You are right, of course. And I'm sorry you've had a tough week too. I've just gone right back to feeling like I don't have a right to be loved or to expect it, and I don't have a right to expect someone to be faithful to me. It should be enough for me that someone is willing to be in a relationship with me in the first place. Expecting respect etc just seems like an ask too far. Like I want the moon on a stick or something!
It's my ugly aspects that I feel the most ashamed of. Like how could anyone look at me and find me attractive when there is X or Y to contend with?
I think you're right, though. I need to stop thinking negatively about myself though. Those things will still be 'ugly' but I won't be governed by them quite so much...
Anyway. It's the last week of the summer hols next week. I'm going to exercise every day, watch what I eat and try and kick start myself into some good habits for September.