Dating thread 79

[louby44]

Wow! 79 already...

Welcome to all daters, new, experienced or tearing your hair out at the frustration!

I just mean, really I gave up a good man, from the outside a perfect life. But as we can see there are lots of requirements for a happy relationship :) I often think I shouldn't have let him go but I was just as empty when I was married as I am now I think.

Jarlin, our next date isn't until the end of next week, as we have no mutual child-free days before then. We text each other every day though, which is nice.

frames, from what you say it sounds as if it's worth you giving him another chance.

lottie don't and rose I always thought it would make dating much easier if I was beautiful. I have to admit that I've never had the issues you have (in fact in 4 dates Walt's not given a single compliment about my appearance!) - but I can now see that that has its own problems too. It's never easy, is it?

Thank Jarlin, you have given me some perspective! Ex DH walked all over me. I can't let it happen again.

andcat I agree, it's not easy at all. I like a middle ground really. no sycophants please and no one cold as ice to the point you feel like they are doing you a favour by being with you. Just a compliment or two is nice, just enough to know that they desire you and then get on with chatting about other things. Do you feel better for no comments made about your appearance, it certainly is a difficult one.

Rose, no, I don't feel better for no comments made about my appearance. I certainly wouldn't want a lot of comments - it would make me uncomfortable and I wouldn't believe them anyway! - but one or two comments would be nice. Walt's certainly not cold or anything like that, I think he's just a) shy and b) not very into appearance. But as you say, it's nice to know that they desire you, not just that they think you're a nice person.

andcat see I want someone who I find attractive who isn't that much into looks themselves, bit of an odd one that I realise, but it's got to be out there... I'd be happy to go out with someone with very average looks but has a kick ass personality. The personality and the character in the relationship will see me through the hard times. I love how jarlins slow never criticised anyone. I love that trait in someone, always makes me feel like I want to be a better person . I'm not interested in any one now who wants 'a fit bird'. I so often see men put on their headlines on pof 'no ugly girls please'. Do they not realise this makes THEM look like a really ugly person?!

OMG, just got a pof message by a couple asking if i am bisexual and would want to explore this with them....why cant I just get a normal man.

Has anyone else encountered men who just want to take up some of your time by texting pointless messages. The last date i had, who is obviously odd or up to no good and has blocked me from seeing his pof profile, keeps initiating text messages. I like him but don't want to let my feeling get the better of me. The text are pleasant but the kind a mate would send.

After my date with Mr Music, which went really well, he said so and said he fancied me but said he was not the stability i needed. I replied with a defensive text, he said he was sorry we could not be friends because he really cared about me even though we only spent one night together. I felt upset and confused and decided not to initiate contact. The thing is he knows i fancy him and we dtd, he is interested in my mind and knowledge of music. He asked me to go to a gallery with him soon, i took this with a pinch of salt because i think its just bull.

Sorry if this don't make sense....i could see myself with this man but my head tells me that something is wrong.

I was thinking of sending him a text to say that I would be interested but its obvious he's not into me and I want to free my head space for a man that does want to date me.

I hate all this complicated stuff, should I put a stop to this, cant find how to block him with my Nokia Lumia. He just text me that he liked a song i recommended....no flirting or a hint of a 2nd date. Stress...

Sorry do feel like I'm butting in on these threads, you have all obviously been through a lot together.

Yay for me finally got up the courage to meet a guy I was chatting with, was ok I didn't expire or spontaneously combust through nerves .

Not that fussed on him, but he was nice enough so phew, first hurdle out of the way, feel slightly better about meeting others now.

So how does it all usually roll, how many people do you kind of juggle with the messaging thing, because tbh with my dick of an ex texting every mundane thought that runs through is head it's pretty hard work all this getting to know people lark.

On a bright note messaged a guy I really liked the look of tonight and we seem to be getting on great, only 1 other guy I really have anything in common with and he's an artistic eccentric type and tbh isn't making any hints about meeting.

veloouria I sometimes chat to ten men at any one time on WhatsApp ha! I know, I am terrible. The upside is that having plenty of options means that I don't get too invested before or after the date and I quickly suss out the ones with not a lot 'about' them, or don't ask me anything about myself. I have finally learnt that if they appear cold and distant before the date, they WILL be the same on the date. don't waste your time meeting just to be sure. I've done that twice with two men now and both ended up being cold on the date as well. Anyway I digress, speak to as many as you feel comfortable with.

Velouria, please don't feel you're butting in. Anyone is welcome here. Some posters have been on this thread for quite a while, some (like me) have been on and off it at various times, others are new. I really hope it doesn't come across as cliquey. I've always found people really friendly and supportive on here.

I'm glad your date went ok, even though it doesn't sound as if there were fireworks. Great news that you're messaging another guy you like the look of. As for messaging, I think everyone does it differently. I find it hard to message more than two or three at the same time, but if possible it's best to message more than one so you don't get too invested in them before you meet.

gotta I know you like him but I would back away now. why set yourself up for hurt when a man has told you he doesn't want a relationship with you. going on dates with him, and then having sex will just leave you feeling empty and confused. He has made his choice now so he will have to suffer the consequences now I .e not having you in his life. just my opinion of course. But I'm not being anyone's plan b.

Rose, totally agree with you about men who write that on their profile. They make themselves sound horrible, and surely must be stupid as well not to realise that. At least it's like a big red flag so we know not to send them a message.

I also agree that personality is so important. When I first met Mr C (who I was with for 18 months) I didn't think he was very attractive, but I ended up being very attracted to him because of his personality.

Thanks andcat, you all really don't come across as cliquey, it's just such a busy thread .

I am really really hopeful for this guy, he has kids and we have only been messaging since this evening but he has had me in stitches, we really seem to have the same type of humour.

There is another guy conspiracy guy, ill call him, I do like him, but he is really busy with work at the moment, plus I'm not entirely sold on him, we get on ok, but I have an inkling he might turn out to be a bit dour lol.

gotta, it sounds as if he either wants something more casual, or as if he just wants to be friends. If that's not what you want, it's probably best to leave it, as it sounds like the current situation is upsetting and confusing you.

Thanks Rose, Andcats...going to text him to leave me alone, Then move on.

Jarlin, I thought I was one of the thread's success stories when Mr C and I got together ... but 18 months later I found myself back on here again. I fear I may be a semi-permanent fixture on here, probably still posting when we get to thread 1000! But I very much hope you'll have met someone just as nice and more emotionally available than Slow and this thread will be a long distant memory for you.

Thanks too rose, sound advice. God this is a whole new world isn't it lol. It's kind of fun atm, I imagine not so much fun a year later.

Hi all
Seeing Mr IT tonight he offered to collect me but I've said I'll catch bus and walk but he said don't be daft .
Not seen him in about ten days and I'm nervous how silly is that?

I hope it goes well Jesy.

Hi jesy. Is this your pub dinner with friends? What have you decided to wear?

Hi
I've gone for some dark jeans a white Cami type top n a black cardigan with some wedges , do t want to seem to dressy as it just a burger n pint night type of thing .

Told him I was nervous and he said don't be daft you know three of them already.
Said don't worry I'll help you finish what you can't of meal then home to watch a movie if you like

Hello.

I'm back. I went away for a few days. I haven't heard or spoken to him. Not a "goodnight" or a "good morning" an "I love you" or an "I miss you". Nothing.

You might remember that on Sunday, I told him a little of how I felt. Wasn't as candid as I am with you lot, but I did tell him a little bit of it and that I feel ugly and worthless and broken. He said it made him sad to know I felt like that; that he loves me and sees me as his future; but that he doesn't now if he can cope with being with someone who feels so unhappy with themselves.

I went away for a few days. He said he loves me and we'd talk when he got back. So I've respected his wishes and left him alone.

I don't think he wanted to end it just before I went away and ruin the break for me.

So, I'm just waiting for him to say the words now. I've told him I'm back.

He's going to end it. I'm going to be heartbroken but also relieved. I need him to not want to be with me. I need him to finish it. Not because I want him to be the 'bad guy', but because I don't want to not be with him, but I can't be with him either.

Can't believe how much the thread has moved on again.

Oh gosh Folk. I don't know what to say, only that the relationship does seem so full of heartache. I'm sorry he reacted like that to you opening up to him.