Dating thread 79

[louby44]

Wow! 79 already...

Welcome to all daters, new, experienced or tearing your hair out at the frustration!

lottie and dont I'm the same as you both. Most men just want to talk about my looks. It can be tiring and I talk about Buddhist philosophy on my profile but nope, I still get the whole 'you are so beautiful baby'..I met someone recently who just keeps saying the same thing to me on WhatsApp. 'Baby you are so hot' oh man. Feels like ground hog day I tell ya. So Lottie when I read your posts I thought to myself are you me??? it can be a lonely place to be can't it? feels like you have to weed through a lot of superficial twats to put it bluntly!

I am chatting to someone who is very keen, but he is short. Like five foot five. yikes. I mean I'm five foot five, and I wear great big stonking killer heels so I don't know how that would work but I'm going to give him a chance because so far no red flags. Normally I wouldn't even entertain the idea of a short man and then I realised that is actually quite ridiculous. It is what it is and i have met plenty of tall dickheads anyway. So I have spoken to him on the phone and he is exceptionally attentive...makes me feel a little odd but in a good way. He makes me feel relaxed, like I can just be me, good sign. anyway date is next week Friday. I'm off to a festival this weekend living it large' ! so we organised a date for next week instead.
P.s I'm not new to the thread I seem to read more than I post

jarlin what was slow like? or shall I go and look at previous threads don't want you to bring it all again if it's still raw. I want a sweet man too!

I don't do short, Rosie but maybe it's good to have a change. I like my men ideally between 6'1 and 6'4. And very sporty. I'm a total hypocrite going on about men judging me on my looks, aren't I?!

Have fun at the festival and good luck for the date!

I'm excited and nervous about Friday now!

I think you've been amazingly strong jarlin. It's all still raw for you, but you've got back out there. You will find another sweet man.

Going to have to go shopping for pretty things now.

Rosie - yes it does feel very lonely indeed. It's quite hard to even explain how I feel except that it doesn't make me feel good. The person will say over and over 'you're stunning' they gaze at you in a way that means you can't talk about normal stuff and then lunge at you within 45 minutes.

dont I also like them tall usually and older. Not too keen on them being sporty though but that is only because Im not. And I was in a relationship once with a bodybuilder for four years and all he talked about was the gym and a good tan. yawn. I figured that this guy appears to have a good character and his height is not exactly something he can change. Anyway more than likely there will be no chemistry in person or he will disappear after the date. I am so positive!

Jarlin sorry you are missing slow:-(
An ex has got in touch, his not perfect, but kind, and lovely. I am going to see him again. So many guys are just keeping me hanging, another with a great profile (car, £, looks,) described his older dc's philosophy... 'Eat or get eaten' ...all sounded materialistic and competative....need to be careful what I wish for

lottie I understand lovely I really do. It's so lonely and it's an odd thing to feel sad about because most people think stop whining think yourself lucky that you are good looking but a whole new level of analysis has to go on when you meet someone as you are constantly thinking, do you want me? Or do you want the way I look or do you want me because I will look good on your arm and you can boast to your mates. Or am i just a tick box achieved. I.e get hot girlfriend. never mind who she is or what her interests are, just as long as she looks good. I feel it when I am with men like this and I feel empty a lot of the time. I know someone who I have been on a date with a couple of times he rarely asks me anything about myself, just goes on and on about my looks, i find it so off putting. In fact yesterday I was trying to tell him that I have been feeling a down recently and he just said, 'why? you are gorgeous?' I mean ?????? seriously ?! The logic is breath taking.

Shortguy is attentive and appears to be kind but when I asked him what he looks for a woman. He says I like them to be beautiful and have natural beauty but I don't have a physical type actually that is not what I meant, sigh. But I will give him a chance anyway as he doesn't do any overt sexual talk on Whatsapp which is a big no no for me. And seems to be very keen on making ME happy which is also a good sign.

a few typos on previous post. sorry, I'm on my phone. The bold bits are meant to be in speech marks but I'm sure you get the gist anyway

That was really moving to read, jarlin. He does sound like a lovely man. It's good you can see it even now and you will find that again.

I don't go for bodybuilder types, Rosie. I like them lean and muscular with a runner's physique.

Aw blondegeeky just called me beautiful.

Jarlin he really does sound like a keeper from what you have said. But, sometimes we have to try and knock someone off their pedestal to get over them you know? I am sure you know this already btw, not teaching you to suck eggs here. I can see why you miss him. But the fact of the matter is, you were everything he wanted but he did not offer to give you more of his time? Sounds like he was emotionally unavailable (to an extent)...and so it wasn't you but his own issues and he wouldn't be able to give you or anyone what they need by the sounds of things. Has he kept in contact?

dont I don't have a physical type anymore, I used to. But as I'm getting older, I want a bit more substance as nothing worse then not being able to have a proper conversation with someone. or nothing worse than being with someone who only talks about sex or worse still only gives affection when they want sex. I had a casual thing recently with a basket ball player. I cocked it up because I thought he was being all aloof and distant when really now looking back at it, I just don't think he had anything going on upstairs, and I think I freaked him out with my line of questioning. He said I confused him, when really I was only asking basic things. I do wonder how some of these men get themselves dressed in the morning really I do hehe.

Jarlin doesn't it make you so cross that his ex wife had a decent man and she chose to cheat on him!! I am secretly hoping he sees sense and contacts you again. In the meantime, there will be another sweet man out there for you, an available one.

jarlin yes it is . He did send me a text saying we could have a few drinks and see how it went - he's not putting pressure on me. I'm thinking...I'm perfectly happy with this situation, I have been waiting for too long!

Jarlin, it's so sad what you wrote about Slow. I wish so much that he could have made more time for you. I still think he was very silly to let you go.

gotta, my DS has ASD as well. I always worry about when I should tell anyone I'm dating about his ASD, because it definitely makes things more complicated.

don't, hope Friday goes great.

So Walt came round on Sunday. We went out for lunch, came back here ... and spent an hour or two chatting on the sofa before he went home after a quick peck on the lips ... I don't suppose Slow has a cousin, does he, Jarlin?!

There are lots of reasons people cheat or leave good people, let's not judge as all out situations are different.

*our!

Fucking phone

Jarlin this is going to sound so childish...he cancelled on me very last minute, it was a big night out, I was fuming. So I dumped him after about 3 months. We are from different backgrounds and this was going to put him in circumstances he is not used to....and he was not confident. He is sorry he let me down and I am sorry because I wish I had never blardy asked, it wasnwork related (but fun)and I had to go

.The day we met, I was at a loss, because I knew being so different was going to be a challenge (he has never left his home town...other than few holidays, footie trips,) my world view is based on a different set of experiences. But I just saw this lovely man sitting in front of me, who I knew even then would love me to bits. He is kind to everyone, really positive, and chilled. His grown up kids love him to bits. The sex is amazing.