Dating thread 79

[louby44]

Wow! 79 already...

Welcome to all daters, new, experienced or tearing your hair out at the frustration!

Hi dipping, new to mumsnet and od, this thread has been a great help and some very good advice. I have been od for two months and its been a real eye opener. Caused me some tears, self doubt and anxiety, if I find a decent man then it might be worth it. Right now I'm having no luck, no dates lined up:(

Hi Single, yes Tinder uses your fb profile photo but doesn't share your info.

Has anyone found that there are quite a few fake profiles on pof?

I think I have a coffee date at the weekend

Imnot,

I had a guy admit to using fake pictures after we had chatted for ages and agreed to meet. He said he was overweight. I was gullible and gave him my email address to send real pictures. He seemed nice untill I got emailed gross pictures of his bits. He then blocked me, I was so disturbed I deleted my profile. Saw the same fake pictures the other day so he's still on pof. I am back on pof but alot more cautious.

That is horrendous gotta! I use an app called Kik as you don't need to give out your mobile number or email. So if the worst happens and you get a nude photo that you don't want you can block them straight away before anymore come through :-)

Thanks knowledge, I kind of went in to od totally blind and had no idea how you open yourself up to possible abuse from some horrible people.

I really don't know what to think this morning!! I received a text from Mr H first thing (as I always do) saying good morning, blah blah.

Replied to it and asked him if I was staying at his on Friday (he knows I need to know in advance) he hasn't replied but is at work. Then I logged into pof and he's online! I know we aren't exclusive yet but I think he may be lining other dates up!

This online dating is driving me nuts!

gotta, that is terrible. Can you 'out' him so that we all know to avoid him?!

I wouldn't know what to look for in a fake profile - how can you tell, I'mnot? I have seen one or two where the photos look model-ish.

Hi, Dipping - it's very useful and strangely comforting being on this thread. Hope you find it helps too!

Lucsnowe - sorry your date on sat wasn't a great success. I think there is so much height exaggeration/age denial on here but surely it's better for people to be upfront about themselves before meeting. Sounds like you've had a lucky escape judging by his reaction to you being online anyway.

That is so gross, gotta.

I was talking to what I thought was a guy in his 40s, dark, nice looking. Then up flashes his real pic - overweight & at least 60+

Sheeeeesh.

The guy is standing in front of that Jesus statue in Rio and he is holding a guitar....if I see him on line again I will take note of his screen name. I just don't want him to see me on line.

His pictures are of someone else he got from the Internet, I do avoid the modelled pictures of men frolicking in the sea. But its hard to tell and I just refuse to give my number or email out and state on my profile that I wont exchange numbers until after a date. I find that men are really keen to get me to text them and exchange numbers or what's app.

My Last date was a strange one, you just cant tell until you meet a man what they are really like, on line they sell themselves well and miss out that they got arrested for harassing the ex and now have a criminal record, My last date kept messing with me and lying but he has now disappeared.

Yes, knitted, the modelish photos. But you never really know do you?

God, i'm naive. I always avoid the models but only because I presumed they loved themselves. It didn't really occur to me that they'd be fake. Bloody cheek of some of these people.

I need some help. Ok, I've been on a few more dates - the men are all very different from different backgrounds and I've noticed the dates all focus heavily on taking about my appearance the entire time. I never dress overly sexily on the dates but people seem to be seeing me a certain way.

Are dates just like this generally? All they talk about is the way I look mostly. I'm feeling a bit wounded by it and thinking maybe I should just give up.

There is a website you can use to check if photos are genuine. I'll try to find the link.

Thank you, knitted! I have to admit that I caved in and am texting him again because he apologised but I really don't want to see him again. I just feel sorry for him. So difficult. Gotta, I have also found men are keen to text/what's app. Do you let them? What are the dangers beyond getting disgusting photos? I feel very naive and rather out of my depth!

Lottie - I think the thing is that if you are good-looking (and obviously it's all relative but there are definitely some people that just are undeniably very attractive) then some people can't seem to help but be driven by their desire and physical attraction to the person. It sounds like this is your 'problem'. Sorry, it must be very annoying though. Do you talk about your intellectual interests/hobbies much in your profile? Sorry if this sounds sooo obvious - maybe you could go on a bit more about them in your online profile and also when you meet. I went on a date recently where the guy talked about himself 70% of the time and I went away feeling that he thought I was a bit of a ditzy dolly but I would have had to have been quite pushy to get to talk more!

Lucsnowe don't go on another date with him just because you feel sorry for him, though!

I find the same lottie. Admittedly I like looking the way I look, but I don't think it helps me to get a relationship at all. I think the converse is true.

Lucsnowe - Listen to knitted, don't go on another date because you feel sorry for him! he'll probably try and wear you down with persistence.

My cold's clearing up a bit now, might see if (I'll call him) Mr C. fancies meeting up later this week. Just a quick drink in a localish pub, I'll probably be less snotty and just have the remnants with a low husky voice. He'll think he's hit the jackpot.

As far as online dating goes - I've tried it in the past and always been a bit embarrassed about it, it feels different this time. I don't care who knows I'm on there, I've got a couple of clear photos up that whilst flattering are up to date and unquestionably me. So any customers at work (and I've seen a fair few on there) will know it's me, and I don't care one bit.

Lucsnowe block him from everything and don't look back, he sounds like a manipulative weirdo!

Dontcallme - you are exactly right. That's exactly how I see it. Today I'm feeling quite down about it. It may sound like an odd thing to moan about. But it I do want people to like me for the person I am and not just how I look.

I think my profile is ok - I talk about my book and film interests and also how I see my personality. I'm actually quite a deep person. I've also found that this mentality seems much worse with online dating than I've found with people I met in RL.

Never, ever spend time with someone if you don't want to. Especially not because of pity.

I find the same lottie, I feel they go on a date with me and a reasonably looking towards dating but get a bit 'oh no I'll peg her as a shag and move on, that'll be much better'. No idea why!