Dating thread 79

[louby44]

Wow! 79 already...

Welcome to all daters, new, experienced or tearing your hair out at the frustration!

And thanks Ursula. He does seem respectful.

I think that's definitely it, men are only human after all no problem x

I'm tempted to text him now, but I won't. Him being a little insecure won't do him any harm. He'll have a better idea of how I feel on Friday.

Haha, yeah I mean maybe text him before Friday but not this late at night. That sounds mad but I'm assuming you'll know what I mean! I do think dating and stuff has driven me nuts!

The thing is, if he wasn't interested, he'd not be arranging dates on the date, or holding me really tightly at the tram station and looking crestfallen when I have to go. Geeky the first really damaged my ability to trust men though

He'll text me tomorrow. This is what I mean, he's so reliable.

Wow well I don't see anything wrong with that, it's when the online stuff makes them suddenly change previous behaviour it's a problem 'at this stage'

I know he did and especially men you meet OD. But he's not him and yes he does like you. Things are changeable and you can't bank that yet all you can do is protect yourself as much as possible by not banking on it and try to just enjoy it. Don't keep tabs online when he's not really doing anything wrong - 'at this stage'. Do tell him prior to dtd what your expectations are. If he can't live up to them he may do the respectful thing and wait a while.

Glad to hear things are going well with Blonde Geeky dont. It sounds like you've handled everything well until now and I agree with Ursula that there doesn't appear to be any red flags. So hard though when you find out they're still online.

I'm feeling mixed today. On the one hand I'm glad I confronted MrTall because I was going crazy with the over analysing. There was definitely a change in the way he was communicating with me. I feel like the pressure is off me to keep some kind of forced communication going with him because I've put the ball back in his court. He hasn't text me at all today but I'm mostly ok with that.

On the other hand, I feel like I've blown it. I've broken all the rules by forcing the issue. I think he's misunderstood what I wanted as a result of talking about how things are going. In reality I just wanted to know if he was still interested and wanted to keep seeing me. I think he's taken it as I want to know where this is going. Thing is, I don't expect him to know at this point whether he wants a LTR with me but I do expect him to know if he's interested in getting to know me better. I don't know, I've probably made myself sound clinger and needy in his eyes but I couldn't carry on the way things have been indefinitely.

Reading your posts dont makes me realise just how badly I've handled it. Why couldn't I just be cool .

So, my current dilemma is whether to get back online or not. My profile is currently hidden. On the one hand I don't want to wait for him (especially as it think he will probably end it on his return from holiday). On the other, I'm worried that if he sees I'm back online, that may push him to decide he doesn't want to continue. Aaarrhghhh! Why does this have to be so difficult?!

I feel better now. He is lovely and I'm so insecure I'm looking for problems. He wouldn't let me pay for anything on our date saying 'you've got kids.' He texts me at the end of dates before I've even got home. I'll chill and just be aware that it is early days. I think my contraceptive implant is playing havoc with my hormones, I'm all over the place.

My hormones are fucked don't so focusing on you has helped me! There are good people online, we all are.

Sock, in all honesty I wouldn't have rung him because like you say the ball is in his court- he's all powerful here. However he's away so wouldn't have been in contact anyway. I think you've every right to be online again and the best way to get over a man is to get under another I'm joking! If you think you can wait til he's back with his 'decision' then maybe do, the same blokes will still be there. But if it'll distract you & you're really ready to look get back on it.

Not sure that was any help at all!

Thanks Ursula. Bizarrely, I actually feel better with the ball being in his court. I felt such enormous pressure not to fuck things up and I was getting fed up with the pressure being on me to keep things going when his responses were just one line answers to my questions. Now the pressure is off, I've gained enough head space to resign myself to the fact that it's most likely not going anywhere. I will disappointed if he comes back and says 'sorry, no', but not devastated. If he completely ignored me on his return, that will drive me batshit though. He has said he will keep texting while he is away but I won't be banking on it.

Yes, I want to get back on to take my mind off him things, but feels kind of disrespectful? Will it damage my chances with him not that those chances are great?

I agree sock - nothing wrong with you getting back online. Equally you won't lose out by waiting if you don't want to risk it. I'd be reluctant to give him the power of hanging on waiting though.If he does see you online and doesn't like it, then he can up his game!

I'm rereading the rules tonight. I have to play it cool to protect myself.

I don't think it is disrespectful, you has the chat and he didn't say 'we're exclusive' so ya boo sucks. I understand now why you feel better I have an issue with men being the power player in what I'm doing but agree being ignored is the worst x

Reading the latest posts with interest! The date I had on Thursday (Mr H) went really well and he was calling once a day and texting throughout the weekend. He sent me over 70 texts yesterday! It was all banter/conversation and really good fun. We went on our date last night and he stayed over at mine (dd at my mums), we dtd. I can be myself in front of him and I'm enjoying getting to know him!

With regard to them being online I had this with Mr H after our first date. He hasn't been on since we dtd/second date and I haven't mentioned it to him.

It is all stressful Jarlin and I haven't had a date in months. I'm finding that I don't get asked out recently, only get young boys wanting to roger me senseless. Then I've gone and sorta fallen for one. So I've deleted my profiles and am doing no contact and trying to get my head straight. I panic when I do this, I can feel myself ageing & don't see myself ever meeting a man in RL again. I wish I could really heal and come to 'love myself' but I honestly think all that is dogshit & bobbins.

Thank goodness. A reasonable exchange of match email over a few days, resulting in date offer and mobile number. To prevent days of text exchange before date arranged, I am going to dial the number and speak to him tomorrow.

Please everyone keep everything crossed that he is normal and solvent....loosing the will here. Twas a bad plan during looooong summer holidays.

To do OLD in summer holidays!

He is MrN

Knowledge...great about mrH

Ursulsb...there is only so much 'healing' that can be done alone. If you were thrown from a horse, I believe the advice is just to get back on. Anyone who uses the term 'dog shit and bobbins' is a fine person.

Jarlin ....would be really interesting to find out about using a RL agency. I would want it to be worth every penny.

Pahaha frames, I am a fine person I just need some of these feckless fools to realise it!

Thanks Jarlin, I don't feel very brave - it was more out of desperation really because I couldn't cope with my feelings. The saying 'act in haste, repent at leisure' springs to mind though and I'm sure will come to bite me on the ass!

I thought I'd posted about this but have checked and I didn't - when I got off the phone from him, he sent a text apologising for making me feel like he was disinterested and said he needed to sort his head out about what he wanted. We exchanged a couple of texts about this where I clarified with him if what he meant was that he needed time to think about what he wanted and he said yes, if I was wanting to know the direction this is going in. I said I'd just like to know where I stand. Really, I just want to know if he's interested in getting to know me better or is just stringing me along. This text exchange didn't fill me with any confidence. What is there to think about? Not sure if I'm being paranoid or my gut is right, but I think he's been on a date with someone else and he now has to choose between us both because I've raised the 'where is this going' issue.

Anyone used Tinder and knows how it works? Dies it use your Facebook profile picture? Will people be able to see my Facebook stuff?

Hello all - can I join??
I have name changed as I haven't posted for so long that I can't remember what other details I might not want rehashed but have lurked for ages..

and finally decided to dip my toe in the online dating world! All very new to me...