Hi INeed I'm delurking to offer you support. Nearly two years to the day my ex-husband did this to me, phone call out of the blue that lasted 3 minutes telling he no longer wanted to be married to me and that he would not support me (that's how long it took to end a 20 year marriage). I was left to live in a foreign country of his choosing while he stayed in his job and flat in the UK. He turned off his mobile and blocked me, my family and friends on Facebook then changed his relationship status on Facebook to being involved with another woman. He thought I wasn't clever enough to work out how to see it.
In those two weeks I didn't try to contact him at all, I made myself busy by contacting solicitors and instructing them in a divorce, changing all the locks on the house and chucking his possessions outside in a trailer to go to the tip. They'd been rained on and ruined by the time he got to look through them.
He eventually showed up 4 weeks later to see the DCs, still denied there was another woman and told me that he would sort out the divorce on our behalf. I didn't let on to him at that point that I'd seen photos of him and the other woman cuddling up with her kids on his lap, while his own DCs cried themselves to sleep wondering where he was. He inadvertently revealed in that conversation that he'd been most pissed off that I hadn't even contacted him or begged him to come back. He also let slip that he'd come to my house earlier than the arranged time when he knew I wouldn't be there and had tried to get in but hadn't been able to because of the changed locks.(All these things gave me satisfaction that he hadn't received the attention he wanted from me). It still didn't stop him stealing stuff out the house when I wasn't looking when he went on trips to the loo and stuff. He's never been allowed to step foot in my house again and I try to do change overs in a public place, but he still sneaks to my house when he thinks I'm not there to try and snoop through the windows, it's bizarre behaviour.
He arrived back in the UK that weekend to have divorce papers waiting for him naming the other woman, he was not happy. He thought he'd been so clever swapping from me to the OW and me not knowing.
Since that phone call two years ago my life has become so full and happy. I'm no longer lonely and I smile again - I didn't realise how unhappy I was in my marriage until it was over. Life has gone from strength to strength and while he's still with the OW I don't know if he's happy, he's always moaning and whinging at me when he contacts, he seems very jealous of the life I'm creating for me and the DCs. He's since filed for bankruptcy and lost pretty much everything. He's being forced to sell the flat we owned in the UK because he can't take my name off the mortgage.
He does bother very little with the DCs and that causes them great sadness. He's seen them for 33 hours this year and I've stopped keeping the mobile on charge after he didn't call them for eight weeks, it's been longer now, no calls, no emails. Oldest son has decided it's dad's choice not to see them, youngest son is upset about it and gets quite distressed when he dwells on it.
I cannot say how amazingly brilliant and supportive my family and friends have been they are the so fabulous and I love them all dearly, and we weren't even a close family but they have rallied round me since that day. I feel I'm wrapped up in love. So please let your friends and family support you. Some terrible things have happened to me in the last two years, my house was flooded in the storms in January and it's been completely trashed, but I've dealt with everything and even that hasn't made me feel as unhappy as I was in my marriage. The house is due to be rebuilt and the future looks rosy.
I too can now complete flat pack furniture (and dismantle it) and I'm learning to tile the bathroom now.
Good luck for your future, you are coping brilliantly. You and your DS have a great holiday.