What would you say if your friend told you this

[cakeyblues]

My 22 y/o friend recently told me she has a crush on her 18 y/o colleague. He is a very young looking 18 y/o (I've met him) and could pass for 16. She says she has fallen for his funny/charming personality and is attracted to him physically too. This is confusing for me, I know legally there would be nothing wrong with them doing anything but it seems a bit weird to me. She said he has told her he is still a virgin and she has said (to me) she would like to be his first.

I don't know if I'm being out of line here or what, I just feel this is not an ok situation. Does anyone know what I mean/have any input.

I totally agree with you daisy. It's fine to disagree, but sometimes I feel like I'm back in the school playground with some of the ganging up and sarcasm.

Maybe I should run back to Netmus..

This lad has a slightly older, professional woman lusting after him and wanting to take his virginity. The guy probably thinks he has died and gone to heaven. It's most lads absolute fantasy.
Forget about it now and concentrate on your own life.

I think you are confusing the issue here by saying the age gap is the problem, when actually what you are really upset about is her being unfaithful and walking away from a supposedly happy life and future.

I don't think 4 years is any gap at all.

Absolutely agree with butterfly.

Young single woman fancies young single man - It's just nature

She's 22 years old. If she doesn't want to be married and tied to a mortgage at such a young age then that is her choice.

As for going to V fest. That's what 22 year olds do!

This thread has struck a chord with me.

I married my husband when I was 18 years old. At the age of 21 I was depressed, drinking heavily and feeling as if i'd settled down too early. Husband and I separated and I met a man who was friends with a friends other half. He was 18. The relationship ran its course but we remained good friends. I eventually got back with my husband and we decided to try for a baby. This 18 year old was over the moon for me. We had many a conversation on baby names etc.

He died in his sleep a couple of days after his 19th birthday when I was 7 months pregnant.

Life is too short. Your colleague is young, she likes a guy. Let her live her life how she wants.

Tbh the ageism against 22 year old women on this thread is annoying me more than the OP. I am not a kid or very very young. I have a 4 year old daughter, a house, a job, a car, I've been independent since I fell pregnant. I'm no more of a 'kid' than any other working adult with a family.

When I met DH I was 26 and he was 20 and looked young.

Now we are 37 and 42 and still going strong.

Also he may look 16 but isn't.

And of course DH is 36..sleep deprivation

Posters drip-feed on threads all the time. They're posting to work out how they feel about issues and to garner other opinions. It only ever turns into an issue when the drip-feeding means other posters have to change their response and rather than admit their initial response was incorrect, they start accusing the OP of deliberately with-holding information.

OP: I'm unhappy about the age-gap in my specific friend's situation

Some other posters: You shouldn't be because other people have that age-gap and it's fine

OP: maybe it's not the age-gap. maybe it's because she's cheating

Now rather than other posters saying : 'well that changes it and we don't advocate cheating' It becomes: 'you drip-feed and let's continue to focus on our experiences of other age-gap relationships and why it's ok to cheat'

You are being ridiculous and your post smacks of jealousy, childishness and insecurity.

I'm glad my friends aren't such judgemental people. Be happy for her if she's happy, support her if she's not, that's being a friend.

The problem here was not so much drip feeding as changing the issue completely, which made a few posters wonder what the OP was about.
I am still not sure what the actual problem is for the OP.
a) the age gap + perceived different outlook in life - for all we know the 18 year old may be very reliable and mature even though he looks younger (my little bro was already a doctor and he looked like a kid)
b) that the 22 yo dropped a safe life, engagement, etc to be with an 18 year old
c) that the 22 yo wants to cheat on her fiance

Exactly Lweji. You would think relationships would be a prime place to discuss this and work out why the op felt uncomfortable. Some people did try to discuss this with her. Many just couldn't let the initial age thing go and turned it into an aibu.