What would you say if your friend told you this

[cakeyblues]

My 22 y/o friend recently told me she has a crush on her 18 y/o colleague. He is a very young looking 18 y/o (I've met him) and could pass for 16. She says she has fallen for his funny/charming personality and is attracted to him physically too. This is confusing for me, I know legally there would be nothing wrong with them doing anything but it seems a bit weird to me. She said he has told her he is still a virgin and she has said (to me) she would like to be his first.

I don't know if I'm being out of line here or what, I just feel this is not an ok situation. Does anyone know what I mean/have any input.

YEEEESSSSS YOUUUUUU AAAAARRRRRE.

Why does this bother you so much?

Very, very odd.

Even if she was 50 and he was 18 this would be none of your business really. She's your friend, she's happy. Be happy for her! She's not doing anything remotely illegal, or even wrong.

You yourself might feel you would be too old for an 18 year old, but that doesn't mean everyone feels the same. I thought I was awfully grown up at 22 but looking back now I realise I wasn't.

Why have you expanded their age gap in your delightful little scenario?
Who gives a shit what others think?
Honestly, what PODSIBLE problems are you foreseeing here? Breakup and heartache? Nothing new there...
You're making out your friend as some kind of sexual weirdo who's intent on robbing this innocent lad of his virginity! Nice friend...

Even if anyone did find it weird. There's nothing anyone could do. You can't stop two consenting adults sleeping together.
I once slept with someone who was 53 when I was 21. Was that imorale or was that okay because he was the older party.

I don't think Castle's wit is wasted here at all, possibly just slightly over some people's heads though.

I can't see the issue tbh. They are both young, they are both adults and it's just flirting, dating and possibly having sex. If it doesn't work out then they break up and no harm done. It's not as though your friend is doing anything predatory.

WHY do you keep calling him a boy??

Oh pipe down. I can see your little face getting all red and screwed up from here. It's not a pretty sight

Yup. Looks like you are totally alone.

And sexist.

I always find other couples strange. But that's the beauty of Mother Nature isn't it? We all find different things attractive. Good luck to em! How you could find youth attractive is beyond me, but now I've started projecting with you

A 22 yo is not a mature professional. Are you also early 20s? You are not as grown up as you think you are:) from the perspective of someone nearly 20 years older, 18 and 22 are both young and immature, sorry!

Just FYI I haven't said anything to my friend negatively, its her life and she, and he, are free to do what they want. I just wanted to see if I was wrong/alone in my opinion which it seems I am.

It's none of your business. They are both old enough to know what they want.

At 18 i had A 24yo boyfriend. Not weird to me sorry I can't see the issue.

Actually OP I'm 84, and my partner is 19... maybe that's why I'm a little sensitive to the horror of these situations, and angry that you have 'burst the bubble', so to speak. I shake my Zimmer in your general direction.

Oh cakey I saw you as the 18 year old's mum, rather than the friend.

I'm going to go against the grain here. I can understand where you are coming from with the usage of 'boy' and him seeming more like a 16 year old. Though I don't think she is in any way wrong.

I think it depends on the setting though. At her age I had just started teacher training and was confiscating phones from boys that age. I didn't find any of them remotely attractive and found them to be very young in their outlook on life. (I obviously knew it all by then )

Legally there is nothing wrong with this scenario. She is obviously viewing him as an equal. Is it the virgin fantasy that has made you uncomfortable?

How old are you OP?

A 22 year old is not a mature woman

Hasn't he got a mate you can pal up with?

I'm a 41 year old woman and 18 and 22 is all packaged up in one parcel marked VERY YOUNG. Both of them. VERY YOUNG TOGETHER>

You sound a bit odd yourself though OP. Too interested by far.

It's not about how young he looks, it's about his personality and how emotionally mature he is. Depending on that it might be absolutely fine, or it might be a little bit iffy. I do think that I'd be suspicious of the motivations of anyone, male or female, who was attracted to a younger person specifically because they looked very young and were a virgin.

But unless you know he's particularly vulnerable, you should stay out of it.

I don't think you should keep referring to yourself as her friend, since she's clearly not.

Perhaps I should explain the full story. I am 28, I met my friend (lets call her 'Gee') through her fiance, also 28 who I have known for years. Over time I grew closer to her than him and consider her to be my best friend.

Gee confessed to me her crush on the other guy ('Jay'). I cannot comprehend how she can go from engaged, saving for a house, planning for the future with a 28 y/o to going to V fest with a teenager who look and acts like a kid.

OP says "what if he was your son?"
That's the give away.
He'll be alright mum.
Convinced I'm putting money on it.

Walter I don't agree with what she is doing but it doesn't mean I am not her friend, I will love her whatever.

Is she still engaged?