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Original poster

Caught in the act . Mortified.

567 replies

SickOfAnts · 04/08/2014 20:13

Have once again turned to MN as in RL there is only DH to talk to.

The barebones of the story are that DH and I were caught in the act yesterday by our DDIL and the ramifications seem to be totally over the top.

We've had a stressful couple of years. Our relationship was put into question over an event which happened nearly 30 years ago, was a horrid time and still now it is in the background.

Last year our DS1 announced that his girlfriend was pregnant, they're both students in pretty full on studies. We supported them 100% and i gave up work to look after our beautiful GD.

Yesterday we looked after our GD, DS and DDIL are on holiday from uni but we offered to give them a break.
DH came home for lunch and we fawned over DGD for a while and then put her down for her siesta.
One thing led to another (consenting adults in their 50's) and to cut a long story short DDIL arrived (very quietly) and caught us in a compromising position.

Mortification is not the word.

She went into the kitchen and DH spoke to her/apologised.
She was all kinds of embarrassed.
She woke up DGD and went home.

Since then all hell has broken loose. DS can't trust us to look after DGD, if we can't hear DDIL coming in then how could we hear a baby crying?

I could die. I feel dreadful.

DH has pulled rank and has basically told DS to just drop it.

I feel sick.

Thankyou for reading this far. I know this is a total non story but it's very upsetting and embarrassing for me and i needed to share.

OP posts:
PlantsAndFlowers · 04/08/2014 23:02

Linerunner Grin

Pooka · 04/08/2014 23:03

I don't know about this.

While I can see that the op is going her ds and sil a favour in looking after her dgd, I don't think that that means that it's automatically ok for care not to be as good as you would hope she would get from someone they were paying.

I sort of expect or hope that a family babysitter would take more rather than less care iyswim (fair enough if you don't) and I wouldn't be entirely delighted if I was able to get into my baby sitter or childminders house and found her shagging in the front room.

And then factor in the brain bleach potentially required at encountering your parents in law snagging... Ouch!

Of course there is a valid point in that no doubt the son and DIL shag when their dd is asleep. Difference perhaps is that it is their dd.

Conflicted. Don't think it's on for them to be livid or shouting the odds. But embarrassed, yes.

Lweji · 04/08/2014 23:05

You see Lweji, social services do not see it this way.

Social services or OFSTED?
How do they enforce the no sex rule for child minders?

I can see the daily log:

10:00 am - put baby to sleep
11:00 am - baby woke up
12:00 am - gave baby their bottle

So... what were you up to between 10 and 11? Did you leave the house? No? Great.

PistolWhipped · 04/08/2014 23:06

Ooo, I love a good shit, me.

Lweji · 04/08/2014 23:07

I wonder if people can be on MN while the baby is asleep or is it just the sex that is verboten.

UnlikelyAmazonian · 04/08/2014 23:08

If I found anyone I had entrusted to look after my son for a few hours having sex, I wouldn't leave him with them again. Friend, childminder or relative.

Pooka · 04/08/2014 23:09

Well I don't know about you, but I find it possible to mumsnet while not getting so distracted that I don't notice someone coming into the house!

GrannyOnTheSchoolRun · 04/08/2014 23:09

And why is it being said the OP is doing her son and daughter in law a favout by looking after the wee one. Could it be that she's doing it because she's the granny and it's what she wants to be doing?

Lweji · 04/08/2014 23:09

Make sure you knock UA.

Sallystyle · 04/08/2014 23:14

It's just sex.

The baby was asleep.

I used to sleep when mine slept. I didn't know that I was meant to be with them every second when they slept.

I doubt anyone would care if the OP had a quick sleep, but because she had a quick shag it is somehow wrong Hmm

LiberalLibertines · 04/08/2014 23:15

She gave up her job though granny to take care of the baby so her ds and dil could finish their studies. It's a massive favour.

Nomama · 04/08/2014 23:15

Cos she gave up work to look after the sprog, Granny.

FrontForward · 04/08/2014 23:15

I doubt anyone would care if the OP had a quick sleep, but because she had a quick shag it is somehow wrong

This

It's prudery.

MarthasHarbour · 04/08/2014 23:16

70-1 Shock

I am 41 and DH has to book missionary in advance

YABVU Wink

Chiana · 04/08/2014 23:17

Oh, for Pete's sake, it's just sex. How does OP's DS think he came into this world? And it doesn't sound like the granddaughter is old enough to toddle in and discover you in the act. DS did that once and we didn't have sex again until DH had installed a lock on the bedroom door.

It should blow over eventually, OP. Especially since, as other Mumsnetters have observed, good childcare is neither cheap nor easy to come by.

Pooka · 04/08/2014 23:20

I think that they need to rethink their position (Ho Ho) on the ability that any tom, dick and Harry can just walk into their house at any time. I don't purposefully lock my front door, but you need a key to get in, and I can hear the key in the lock.

GrannyOnTheSchoolRun · 04/08/2014 23:24

I still don't see it as a favour in the sense 'favour' can imply.
Perhaps it's just the semantics that are confusing

As a granny I see it as - there was a baby to look after so Granny is looking after the baby.

Anyway, I'm off for the night 'my granny the escort is on' and it's a far cry from the kind of stuff that's on the tv where I live.

Solaia · 04/08/2014 23:26

Whilst I think they are over-reacting I can sort of understand why they are a bit taken aback. If I'm ever looking after anyone's kids, I feel like I'm 'on duty'. Sex is something I would do whilst 'off duty.'

You sound like lovely GPs! They'll come around in time.

LineRunner · 04/08/2014 23:26

A woman in her 50s gave up her job.

That is massive.

LiberalLibertines · 04/08/2014 23:27

Did DIL have a key op? Or was the door left open?

GrannyOnTheSchoolRun · 04/08/2014 23:28

No, it's not when you've become a granny.

Original poster
SickOfAnts · 04/08/2014 23:33

Spoken briefly to my sister who was a great source of comfort as usual and guffawed down the phone.

Youngest DS came home from his judgemental brother's and smirked at us whilst muttering "unsavoury".

DH is sorely tempted to use the "Mum's not a screamer" line.

I totally take on board the fear that a stranger could come into the house.

Around here everyone leaves doors unlocked when in the house and when away.
DIL is from a big town and i appreciate that she may be worried over safety.
Thanks for pointing that out.

Night, night.

OP posts:
Notcontent · 04/08/2014 23:34

Gosh, I can't believe that in this day and age someone would suggest that giving up work is just something a woman should do if she becomes a grandmother!! That is truly a shocking view. Sometimes we all make hard decisions, and some grandmothers may decide to do so, after careful consideration. But really, would anyone suggest that a man in his 50s should just drop everything to look after his grandchildren!!??

LuluJakey1 · 04/08/2014 23:34

I don't know how I feel about this. Rationally, I know it shouldn't bother me but somehow it does. However.......

If I left my baby with PIL for a couple of hours and came back a bit early to find them having oral sex in the sitting room and the baby asleep in the dining room, I would be bothered as well as mortified and unable to speak sensibly probably

But, if they looked after the baby overnight and had sex I would not be at all bothered.

That makes me think that the being bothered is somehow prudish and silly and more to do with my embarrassment at finding them doing it.

Mind you, said baby is not even born yet- 18 weeks pregnant.

LineRunner · 04/08/2014 23:39

Granny, I'm glad I am not a granny in your world, then. I have bills to pay.