Caught in the act . Mortified.

[SickOfAnts]

Have once again turned to MN as in RL there is only DH to talk to.

The barebones of the story are that DH and I were caught in the act yesterday by our DDIL and the ramifications seem to be totally over the top.

We've had a stressful couple of years. Our relationship was put into question over an event which happened nearly 30 years ago, was a horrid time and still now it is in the background.

Last year our DS1 announced that his girlfriend was pregnant, they're both students in pretty full on studies. We supported them 100% and i gave up work to look after our beautiful GD.

Yesterday we looked after our GD, DS and DDIL are on holiday from uni but we offered to give them a break.
DH came home for lunch and we fawned over DGD for a while and then put her down for her siesta.
One thing led to another (consenting adults in their 50's) and to cut a long story short DDIL arrived (very quietly) and caught us in a compromising position.

Mortification is not the word.

She went into the kitchen and DH spoke to her/apologised.
She was all kinds of embarrassed.
She woke up DGD and went home.

Since then all hell has broken loose. DS can't trust us to look after DGD, if we can't hear DDIL coming in then how could we hear a baby crying?

I could die. I feel dreadful.

DH has pulled rank and has basically told DS to just drop it.

I feel sick.

Thankyou for reading this far. I know this is a total non story but it's very upsetting and embarrassing for me and i needed to share.

Sickofants

Don 'to be drawn into an argument with unlikelyamazonian

You will
Just get more upset

I bet your DIL will never walk in unannounced again, though. Or your DS.

Madamecastafiore
Thanks for that.

The Greek Chorus tells me I am wrong, makes assumptions about my own position and the OP sticks the knife in.

I am cowed and mortified. Embarrassed in fact! I might not ever be able to show my face on MN again.

[weeps]

goodness your a disgrace to still fancy your hubby and still want to make love really .i mean my husband and i only do crosswords and such .your dil and son are needing to get real .how did he think he was born from a cabbage patch .

We were in the living room and my 8 month GD was in another room on the same floor.

No danger of her walking in !

OP

You have done nothing wrong at all, your ds and dil will soon find out how expensive childcare is andone of them will no doubt have to give something up.
It's their dc, so let them sort out childcare.
Some people would love free cc and doting gps to raise their kids.
I am angry they don't appreciate you.
I would not be doing it for them anymore, talk about pfb and so out of order.

UnlikelyAmazonian

The best form of defence is attack.

Sorry if i've upset you.

You are of course entitled to your opinion even if i don't agree.

(To make ammends, give me a shout if you ever need a babysitter)

You gave up work to look after your GD for them so that they could continue on with their lives, and your DDIL is now having a hissy fit because, shock horror, you and your husband are having some lunchtime fun? Is she under the impression your DS was an immaculate conception? Was her DD one also?

Tell her to shag off and pay a child minder/nursery if she feels that her daughter was in such horrific danger

Jesus.

You've done nothing wrong, OP. Laugh about it. So you got 'caught in the act'. Who cares? You're fifty something, fabulous and having a fucking great time.

She needs to unclench. And ring the doorbell. Or jangle her keys. Or stomp coming up the stairs. Something. I'd be seriously PO if somebody interrupted my orgasm! It's just bad manners.

UA I've just re-read the OP's posts to you and that is spectacularly unfair. At what specific point did the OP 'stick the knife in'.

Personally I thought she was more polite to you that you were to her...

Was working out childcare costs today, by coincidence. I live in the north of England (where it's relarively cheap, allegedly). £475 per month just for 3 days per week. It costs more for the younger ones (DD is 2).

I agree there will be a swift U-turn when they look at childcare prices.

I would not be particularly horrified in this situation, as long as my dcs were unaware of what was going on, and were safe. In fact I would not be at all surprised if this is what my dm and df get up to all the time.

But... I think I would be pretty concerned if someone could walk unheard into their unlocked house while my dcs were there and my dm and df didn't notice. Is this perhaps where some of dils worries lie?

UnlikelyAmazonian

What a treat you are.

I have never heard anything so ridiculous. Your DDIL needs to release her fingers currently clasped around her pearls and offer her profuse apologies for not creeping out as quietly as she walked in and being so unbelievably rude.

You have done nothing wrong, in fact it is wonderful to hear that your marriage is alive and strong.

Shazaw77

That is a very good point and one that i hadn't for a moment considered.

Thankyou

UA you are sounding slightly unhinged.

So, posters who support the OP, if you were paying a childminder to look after your children, would you be cross if you knew that they had sex with their partner while your child was sleeping? If your baby was very safe and asleep obviously.

Would you mind?

Bloody hell unlikely what's up with you?

The son and DIL are not paying a childminder (or anyone), which is a crucial difference.

The OP is doing them a favour not providing a service in return for a set fee.

UnlikelyAmazonian

I'm not a childminder and the comparison is unfair and insulting.

Good grief, UnlikelyAmazonian, your posts on this thread are well out of line!

UA probably the DDIL could ask for a refund.