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Original poster

Caught in the act . Mortified.

567 replies

SickOfAnts · 04/08/2014 20:13

Have once again turned to MN as in RL there is only DH to talk to.

The barebones of the story are that DH and I were caught in the act yesterday by our DDIL and the ramifications seem to be totally over the top.

We've had a stressful couple of years. Our relationship was put into question over an event which happened nearly 30 years ago, was a horrid time and still now it is in the background.

Last year our DS1 announced that his girlfriend was pregnant, they're both students in pretty full on studies. We supported them 100% and i gave up work to look after our beautiful GD.

Yesterday we looked after our GD, DS and DDIL are on holiday from uni but we offered to give them a break.
DH came home for lunch and we fawned over DGD for a while and then put her down for her siesta.
One thing led to another (consenting adults in their 50's) and to cut a long story short DDIL arrived (very quietly) and caught us in a compromising position.

Mortification is not the word.

She went into the kitchen and DH spoke to her/apologised.
She was all kinds of embarrassed.
She woke up DGD and went home.

Since then all hell has broken loose. DS can't trust us to look after DGD, if we can't hear DDIL coming in then how could we hear a baby crying?

I could die. I feel dreadful.

DH has pulled rank and has basically told DS to just drop it.

I feel sick.

Thankyou for reading this far. I know this is a total non story but it's very upsetting and embarrassing for me and i needed to share.

OP posts:
WandaDoff · 04/08/2014 22:01

Nooo?

Really?

CherryEarrings · 04/08/2014 22:01

Yambabe By jove, you've nailed it.

UA they weren't shagging, they were 70-1 ing.

WandaDoff · 04/08/2014 22:02

Should have refreshed first sorry Blush

vezzie · 04/08/2014 22:03

Ask your ds and dil whether they wanted you to sit 2 feet from the cot on the edge of the bed staring at the baby while it slept, or whether they require you to get up and actually bend over it glaring down at the snoring little body. Tell them you are making medical arrangements for catheterisation in future so lavatory visits will not be necessary. Reassure your ds that this is exactly what you did when he was a child. For 18 years.

UnlikelyAmazonian · 04/08/2014 22:04

She chose to give up work to take care of her grand-daughter.

Presumably she didn't have to?

So don't have sex while you are doing the job you assigned yourself.

Also this phrase: "we fawned over DGD for a while and then put her down for her siesta" makes me feel physically ill.

Who could write 'fawned over' about their grand-daughter?

Exactly how did you 'fawn over' her OP?

Lweji · 04/08/2014 22:09

I really don't care what my parents get up to while taking care of my DS. Just as long as he's returned safely.
If they were to have sex while a young baby was asleep, good for them. FGS!

Original poster
SickOfAnts · 04/08/2014 22:10

unlikelyAmazonian

I feel you may have misunderstood the sentiment behind my OP.

I in no way feel that it is wrong to DTD on my watch.
Rather i feel excrutiatingly embarrassed to have been caught by my DIL and made to feel irresponsible.

We have (IMHO) brought up 4 sons succesfully even though we may have indulged in "the business" regularly over a 30 year period.

(sorry if that offends)

OP posts:
UnlikelyAmazonian · 04/08/2014 22:10

What was the awful event 30 years ago that is supposedly at the root of your needing to have sex with each other on a day when you needed to be watching out for this baby?

LilyandGinger · 04/08/2014 22:11

Unlikely. can I politely ask how many children you have... Because if it's more than one excluding multiples of course then questions have to be asked...

Lweji · 04/08/2014 22:11

The baby was napping. They did not need to be watching it constantly.
Nobody does that.

GrannyOnTheSchoolRun · 04/08/2014 22:12

Unlikelyamazon, the OP is a constant in the wee ones life. She's very much a hands on granny by the sounds of it, and to be frank if you see lots and lots of your grandchildren to the extent you are a main carer, it's entirely feasible that you do other things when they are down for a nap.

It's like being a mum.

Original poster
SickOfAnts · 04/08/2014 22:13

unlikelyAmazonian

Please feel free to vomit. "Fawn" is what we do.

I don't know your situation but if you are or should ever be a grandparent then "fawning" is what you may find yourself doing.

(note "fawning" and not "fornicating")

OP posts:
Lweji · 04/08/2014 22:14

Even if this was a one off time looking after the baby, as it was asleep, the OP has every right to do what she pleases while the baby as asleep, just as long as the baby is not put in danger, which wasn't at all.

PlantsAndFlowers · 04/08/2014 22:14

UnlikelyAmazonian Are you on glue?

BakerStreetSaxRift · 04/08/2014 22:16

It's her Catholic guilt, OP

You've been very good to your DIL, don't forget that.

She'll hopefully go to sleep, wake up and wife what all the fuss is about.

Natillas · 04/08/2014 22:16

Well your DDIL and son are exaggereting, really this is just a hilarious family story to tiss you about from time to time, that is all. They do it themselves as well you know....(kisses)

GrannyOnTheSchoolRun · 04/08/2014 22:17

And you are confusing yourself with the comments regarding the 30 years.

But that said I suspect very much the route of your posts lie in the distinct possibility that things aren't hunky dory in your life grandparents wise.

TheABC · 04/08/2014 22:17

Don't be mortified. It's just sex. With your husband. In your own home. Whilst PFB was safe and asleep. Now if it were the postman, in a public place you may have a good reason to be mortified. ;-p

I am rather jealous, TBH! Wish my sex drive would come back.

Madamecastafiore · 04/08/2014 22:17

If they mention it get DH to say nonchalantly 'we would have heard the baby son, your mothers not a screamer.'

He won't know what to say.

Loletta · 04/08/2014 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBogQueen · 04/08/2014 22:21

Yes it's just sex. Its a perfectly natural and normal thing to do. Baby is oblivious in a different room

You could have been absorbed in a particularly thrilling episode of countdown and not heard baby . You could have gone into the garden.

Instead you had sex. So what?

SauvignonBlanche · 04/08/2014 22:21

Your DS owes you an apology. I love Madame's suggestion. Grin

CherryEarrings · 04/08/2014 22:22

OP, I think that the vast majority of the posters on here understand your embarrassment and some of us have had a bit of a joke to make you feel better. You sound like a great mum and grandma. The old MN mantra applies here I think "This too shall pass"

It will soon be yesterday's news.

Original poster
SickOfAnts · 04/08/2014 22:22

UnlikelyAmazonian

The "awful event 30 years ago" is not "at the root of" our "needing to have sex with each other on a day when" we "needed to be watching out for this baby"

We "need" to have sex as and when we desire, within reason.

Looking after our grandaughter while she sleeps is a time which for us (as parents and grandparents) is within reason.

We are grown ups.
Experienced at parenting.
We've been there, done that, got the bloody t-shirt.

We can judge what's right.

OP posts:
GoMe · 04/08/2014 22:22

Were you having sex in the same room the baby was in??