Caught in the act . Mortified.

[SickOfAnts]

Have once again turned to MN as in RL there is only DH to talk to.

The barebones of the story are that DH and I were caught in the act yesterday by our DDIL and the ramifications seem to be totally over the top.

We've had a stressful couple of years. Our relationship was put into question over an event which happened nearly 30 years ago, was a horrid time and still now it is in the background.

Last year our DS1 announced that his girlfriend was pregnant, they're both students in pretty full on studies. We supported them 100% and i gave up work to look after our beautiful GD.

Yesterday we looked after our GD, DS and DDIL are on holiday from uni but we offered to give them a break.
DH came home for lunch and we fawned over DGD for a while and then put her down for her siesta.
One thing led to another (consenting adults in their 50's) and to cut a long story short DDIL arrived (very quietly) and caught us in a compromising position.

Mortification is not the word.

She went into the kitchen and DH spoke to her/apologised.
She was all kinds of embarrassed.
She woke up DGD and went home.

Since then all hell has broken loose. DS can't trust us to look after DGD, if we can't hear DDIL coming in then how could we hear a baby crying?

I could die. I feel dreadful.

DH has pulled rank and has basically told DS to just drop it.

I feel sick.

Thankyou for reading this far. I know this is a total non story but it's very upsetting and embarrassing for me and i needed to share.

They should have stuck to studying, instead of having unprotected sex, they wouldn't need to be worrying about your love life then.
Tell them you will understand completely if they want to make other arrangements...........and wait.

They're being idiots.

Ridiculous over-reaction from them with a touch of hypocrisy. If they'd have curtailed their own sexual urges, they wouldn't have unwittingly conceived your DGD whom you have since made life-changing plans to accommodate on their behalf.
Let's see how quick they re-arrange childcare. It won't happen. All talk.

Complete overreaction by your DIL and your son. The child wasn't in the room and a crying child is impossible to ignore.

Tell the precious pair that you do not deserve their vitriol; it was embarrassing but that is it, you're not going to be censured by either of them.

Tell them that if they don't drop it, they will not have the free childcare option, regardless of whether they deign to 'trust' you again. I wouldn't put up with this from my adult children, I really wouldn't.

Tell the to grow up and not to come back until they have done so and are ready to wryly smile at a situation they could easily have found themselves in.

I'm madly angry on your behalf, OP.

I'm in agreement that DS really has no right to be annoyed.

I'd love to be the kind of person who would put him in his place and maybe make him squirm a little.

That's not me unfortunately.

DH is doing a good job of fighting our corner.

Actually OP thinking about it a bit more.

How did you know she was there?

If that had of been me I would have very quietly backed out , left the same way I came in and never mentioned it again apart from Christmas and other family get togethers

What was she doing to make her presence know giving direction?
Critiquing FIL technique?

I suggest you start looking for another job. You may not take it once every thing calms down but it will make your DS and DIL think a little about how much you have done for them.

You have done your DS & DIL a massive favour giving up your job/income to look after their child.

They have completely over reacted. Someone opening a door and walking in is no where near as loud as a crying child.

I know you feel but I bet your H is

I wouldn't say a word frankly - you have done nothing wrong, and do not have to explain what you do in your own home to anyone.

Had you been noisily unloading the dishwasher or singing along to the radio they wouldn't have accused you of leaving the baby unattended, so clearly they are just shocked at the sex bit. Ridiculous.

Frankly if they made an issue out of it I would turn the tables and demand an apology at ddil coming back so early and sneaking in quietly unannounced and then flouncing out.

I think you need to stand up for yourself a lot more.

You've got no corner to fight. Like I said you've done nothing wrong. They'll soon realise what side their bread is buttered on when they're paying for child care and as we know it aint cheap

I'm more cross with your son's reaction than your precious DIL. When he heard that tale from her he should have just told her to get a bloody grip and grow up!

I'd just carry on as if nothing has happened. They are the ones who need to apologise for being so ridiculously childish.

People in their 50s who have loving sex together is something to be glad about. Even if those people in their 50s happen to be one's parents.

"Fighting our corner", i realise how pathetic that sounds.

We've got nothing to be ashamed about. Bloody hell, the world does the deed.

Unfortunate that we were caught but hey ho that's life.

What really does put me out is that for 5 years we lived with the inlaws and for what seemed like an eternity we had 4 teenage (or there abouts) sons in the house and have never ever been caught.

How ridiculous that now as grandparents we have been so stupid as to put ourselves in that position.

I'm sure that to the world and his wife i appear to be respectable personified.
Sex is of course respectable but an outsider witnessing the act is just so, so awful.

Sorry to sound like an idiot.

Well yes, your privacy is a precious thing. How come the DIL caught you unawares like thst?

FlossyMoo
There was no way she could have walked in without us seeing her.
(I have been drinking)

You gave up work to look after your GD? They should be endlessly sodding grateful, and not giving you a hard time for gasp daring to have some alone time while the baby is sleeping and in no danger.

They have a bloody cheek in my opinion OP. If anything I would be pleased that my parents still have a happy sex life! Then again I'm not a total prude like they both appear to be.

I was in a very compromising position.
Nothing particulary raunchy but nothing you'd want to see your PIL partaking in. (FIL in particular)

Sickos ants, that's a lot of loose living for one day. Decadent afternoon sex, and now you're drinking!!!!!!!

Blooming good on you from another hands on granny.

Tut Sick that's what you get from swinging from the chandeliers.

Now if you had been missionary staring at the ceiling you would not have noticed her.
Shame on you for having a inventive a sex life you lucky beggars you [wnk]

I am sure it is very normal.

It's just sex OP. I wouldn't have cared a jot, and your DIL is still completely overreacting. I hope you will offer no further apologies, and carry on as normal. If they want to be arses over it, then that is their look out...

Oh dear God.
Thankfully I would never be in the same situation as your poor DS and DIL as my parents NEVER had sex.
EVER.
Not before I was born, nor after - my big sister confirms this.

Parents - sex - urgh!

OK, scrap that.

I've had a fair few and am getting slightly carried away.

Cringeworthy post. Sorry.

You sound guilty in your OP - making excuses (she came in quietly, we've had a difficult 2 years etc etc)

Fact is, you only had the very young baby a few hours yet you couldn't resist having sex within that short time frame.

Why on earth, as grown up consenting grandparents, couldn't you hold your sweat back and do it when the baby had been picked up?

You're husband is protecting you being all nonchalant about it - and you're on here supposedly angsting, when it's obvious you feel you haven't done anything wrong in the first place.

Stop whingeing, stop having sex in the few hours you are looking after your grand-daughter (a week is completely different) and start enjoying the company of your gd instead of a penis.

Sex is all about compromising positions. Don't worry. was it doggy style?