Caught in the act . Mortified.

[SickOfAnts]

Have once again turned to MN as in RL there is only DH to talk to.

The barebones of the story are that DH and I were caught in the act yesterday by our DDIL and the ramifications seem to be totally over the top.

We've had a stressful couple of years. Our relationship was put into question over an event which happened nearly 30 years ago, was a horrid time and still now it is in the background.

Last year our DS1 announced that his girlfriend was pregnant, they're both students in pretty full on studies. We supported them 100% and i gave up work to look after our beautiful GD.

Yesterday we looked after our GD, DS and DDIL are on holiday from uni but we offered to give them a break.
DH came home for lunch and we fawned over DGD for a while and then put her down for her siesta.
One thing led to another (consenting adults in their 50's) and to cut a long story short DDIL arrived (very quietly) and caught us in a compromising position.

Mortification is not the word.

She went into the kitchen and DH spoke to her/apologised.
She was all kinds of embarrassed.
She woke up DGD and went home.

Since then all hell has broken loose. DS can't trust us to look after DGD, if we can't hear DDIL coming in then how could we hear a baby crying?

I could die. I feel dreadful.

DH has pulled rank and has basically told DS to just drop it.

I feel sick.

Thankyou for reading this far. I know this is a total non story but it's very upsetting and embarrassing for me and i needed to share.

Are people really disgusted by over-50s having sex? Isn't George Clooney in his 50s? I think plenty of people are quite happy to think about him boinking. I'm not sure this is as much an ageist thing as a seeing-nearest-and-dearest at it thing. I wouldn't like to walk in on siblings/friends in the situation OP described either. Nothing to do with age, just mortifying because of the relationship you have with them.

The ageist comments are totally stupid and yes, it does appear at times that some posters are in their teens or 20s.

Most of my friends who are in their 50s and 60s look at least 10 years younger than they are, are having sex, and one good friend is coming up to 64 and has just begun a new and exciting and - dare I say it- sexual relationship with a man of the same age group.

If you didn't know it, surveys show that at least 1:5 couples in their 80s still have active sex lives.

And we aren't all wrinkly and flabby- another misconception

Do grow up a bit , you young 'uns.

Far too many folk on here with there noses pitched above their own eye-level and as for the folk who read a fraction of the thread and think they know everything - Staggering!!

Whilst I think the tale is definitely funny, some of the reaction is pathetic. So, baby is asleep - What do you do, sit around twiddling thumbs waiting for it to wake up? Of course not, any parent knows that is the time to do things you haven't been able to do whilst they are awake be it washing, cleaning, ironing or shagging (they don't all belong in the same sentence but......). DDIL should have entered the house a little more circumspectly - My parents (80s now and deffo post shag period) leave there doors unlocked and when I enter the house I always call out from the door (mainly so as not to frighten them into a heart-attack but still.....).

Can't wait to hear details of the dinner ;-)

Maybe it's a cultural thing, this not locking the doors?

In the UK, if DH and I get remotely frisky before bedtime, one or both of us will always ask the other' Is the door locked'?

WE don't have unexpected callers though there have been some burglaries when car keys were taken from houses often when the owners were in the house.

I suppose I just think you were a bit silly to get so engrossed and not think of personal safety and security.

Op said it's a cultural thing.

I d

Oop

I don't know what people are expected to do when baby is napping. Wait, I suppose.

Personal safety and security aren't much of a concern in many places around the world.

Would it be wrong to mark my place....

Personal safety and security aren't much of a concern in many places around the world

True.

But parents coming to collect their child are?

Presumably a visit was on the agenda, even if the DIL turned up a bit early?

DH and I don't lock the front door before having sex. It's never occurred to me that would be necessary.

Jelly, two hours is not twenty minutes.
It can be just as bad (or worse) showing up early unannounced than late, as the DIL found out at her cost.

I'd keep doing whatever you fancied, although the next few times you may have a fit of the giggles.
And she'll hopefully knock or ring in advance.

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These Bogey?

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With a serving of this?

2 hours is super early, tbh. It's not like they were expecting her in 15 minutes and decided to squeeze in a quickie.

A BIT early Pink?
Try 2 hours early!

Hi OP - I hope the dinner went OK and all is now resolved.
I'm sure your sister threw in many innuendo's to help things along!

I think you sound like a lovely GP and the fact that you have given up work to look after GD shows just how you dedicated you are to her.
My DM looks after my DC one day a week and it is completely up to her what she does when they are asleep, I am so eternally grateful that she is saving me £350 a month in childcare! Plus it's her house!!
If I had a P I'd be doing it whilst they were asleep too :)

Thanks again for the posts ladies. It is extremely helpful to be able to unburden myself to 3rd parties.

Dinner went well.

I spoke to my DS. He can be a pompous arse sometimes but his heart is in the right place.
My apology was accepted.

Both he and DDIL are stressed out to the max at the moment.
He is disappointed by our behaviour. (What ironic role reversal)
Poor DDIL will need time to erase the awful image from her brain, as will I.

DSis will never let me forget this unfortunate incident and fair play to her, i'd probably be the same!

We shall exercise more restraint in the future.
A certain spontaneity will be abandoned and 2 minutes will be taken to batten down the hatches before any shenanigans.

To those who judge our antics as innappropriate whilst in charge of a baby, i don't agree.
I don't consider that our DGD's wellbeing was ever compromised.
She was totally unaware.
We may be grandparents but we're still a couple and fortunately still indulge when the mood takes us.

My enormous regret is that DDIL saw what she saw.
I shall feel excrutiatingly embarrased forever.
My DDIL's perception of us will have changed forever.

We are not exhibitionists and have always been very private about our sex life. (She says on a public forum!)

Maybe some good will come out of this (clutching at straws!).
For a long time i've been a wife and then mother.
I had 3 boys in close succession (and then years later our "happy accident" DS4, that's a whole other thread)
I threw myself into domestic life an played house with enthusiasm.
I created a persona, devoted wife, mother, sister etc.
Dependable, respectable me.
Maybe this has illustrated that i'm more than all that.

How ludicrous that an act which is part of routine for the majority should be so taboo.

Thanks again ladies.

OP, I think I love you and your DH.

You sound brilliant fun.

ROARmeow
What a lovely thing to say.

I do fear you may be disappointed if you were to meet us in RL!

Maybe in the (distantish) future DDIL will feel able to discuss or ask about the more intimate probs with you than she ever would have done prior to this. You never know.

I think btw in this thread you are seeing a divide between people who are in their 20's and whose parents are your age and, like your DS and DDIL think of course are too old to be getting up to that sort of thing.....

...and the rest of us who are older and realise we are still getting up to that sort of thing! and will be for some years to come

I have been DDIL's confidante since the announcement of her pregnancy.

Her own parents were at the best, inadequate.
They were/are ashamed of the situation and offered no emotional support.
Deeply religious (and somewhat biggoted) they made both DS and DDIL feel desparate.

Thinly veiled rascism has been directed at our family which we have chosen to ignore so as not to rock the boat.

I sincerely hope that DDIL will still feel able to confide in me.
Sorry for the cheesiness of this but she is to me like the daughter i never had.

TBH I thought everyone had nookie on the sofa when the mood struck, given half a chance. Is that not normal? Is that not the point of living in your own house, so you can get away with more shenanigans, as you so politely put it?

Aaarrrggghhhhhhh! My head is going to explode!

What Were You Doing? You make it sound like your DH was swinging from the chandelier by his knob with you pleasuring yourself with an 8 inch dildo below him.

Was it really so awful? Were you making a porno?

Come on OP - share!

I think we are all assuming a fairly tame 69 on the sofa with a bit of wrinkly middle aged flesh on display, nothing quite so exciting. But obviously if there is salacious detail it would be polite to share a little of this with those who have counselled so wisely during the thread. As it were.

Toffee, RTFT. It's in there.