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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Secrets we want to tell but can't

925 replies

LizzieBelle · 02/08/2014 18:35

There was a thread on here a few months ago which was full of confessions and secrets that we can't tell in real life...My secret is that I know the neighbour on one side of me is having a naughty affair with the neighbour on the other side of me. As soon and the husband goes to work and the kids go to school she's off with the single dad on the other side of me...

Has anyone else got a secret??

OP posts:
CarbeDiem · 13/09/2014 01:25

Because they're idiots Dark
I once dated a guy who could tell that ladies were clean/never had anything. The best from him was - He trusted women who'd had kids as they just didn't get STD'S :) I didn't have the heart nor patience to inform him different and suffice to say he didn't go condom free for sex not BJ's with me.

I'm very careful about my own sexual health, I've never had an STD in my whole life. I'd be shocked if Mr Psychic above can say the same :)

Itsfab · 13/09/2014 08:28

Crabappled - don 't do it. His wife could be a mumsnetter though still bad if not of course. And why do you deserve fun? Hmm One shag could equal a divorce if your husband finds out and your children would be devastated. I know this thread is all about secrets not comments but seriously, grow up.

Yoyo25 · 13/09/2014 09:35

To my "Dear" FIL...

When your wife sends you upstairs to do your photographs, or out into your "garden"...
she's really on lesbian chatrooms. She's not very careful with her internet History, and she's really easy to wind up, I know because she thinks she's having a relationship online with "me"... she really shouldn't go to church when she says stuff like that!

Darkesteyes · 13/09/2014 15:03

Me neither Carbe. My physical health is better than its been for a long time. And i would like my sexual health to stay the same too. Ive never had an STD either.

I added him to my phones blacklist an hour ago. Too many red flags.

FrankSpencer · 13/09/2014 16:46

yoyo25 Shock

CarbeDiem · 13/09/2014 17:33

Good for you Dark it's just not worth the risk.

Yoyo double Shock

Darkesteyes · 13/09/2014 17:43

Bloody hell Yoyo

EggButty · 13/09/2014 17:54

Blimey, yoyo. Not sure why you'd do that, really.

misstiredbuthappy · 14/09/2014 15:39

My godyoyo

drivenbyyou · 14/09/2014 18:04

To my (now ex) 'family' - I'm not on FB but I was directed there by a friend.
I have no idea where you got your 'information' from, but it is a pile of horse crap - the entire lot of it.

In fact, it reminds me of XH - you knew he was lying because his lips were moving, although I'm not too sure you know that the crap you're spouting isn't actually the truth. And it makes me think that some (one) of you have never got over being jealous of me when we were growing up.

My family is so fucked-up and dysfunctional I'm surprised DH stuck around when he found out...but he did and we still got married. Going NC was most definitely the best thing I have done since divorcing abusive XH.

HarleyQuinn · 14/09/2014 19:53

I love you, I know a while ago I said I think I do but I do, you give me butterflies, think about you every day

PepsiTwirl · 14/09/2014 21:56

Wow yoyo

FelicityGubbins · 14/09/2014 22:56

Many years ago my DH bought a "girly mag" (think it was escort) and in the readers wives section was a series of photos...of his sister!!! Shock we have never let on that we saw them, but I still smirk every time she does her pure as an angels fart impression!

OiMissus · 14/09/2014 23:15

Felicity -ha!
Yoyo - wtf? You're having virtual sex with your mil?? I hope your mil is better looking than mine!!Shock
Harley - aw!!! Smile

MyPandaisasecretmonster · 14/09/2014 23:32

My Uncle took his 6yo son to court because he had been left everything by his DGM (money , house etc) & he didn't think it fair even though it was his Mums choice to leave everything to her grandson instead of her tight arsed son .
My Cousin & his Sister don't know this , I think it was a horrid thing to do & they don't have a penny of it left either .

My Aunt borrowed a lot of money off my Great Grandma to start her own business & Aunt was paying back tiny amounts weekly & GG was keeping a record in a notebook , GG died while at home & before the Ambulance etc had even got their Aunt had got their & destroyed all evidence of the loan Angry my Grandad couldn't fathom where all his Mums life savings had gone & my Dm just didn't have the heart to tell him .

I moved schools in y8 & ended up in the same class as my Sisters half sister (different dad's). We are still friends & her family have no idea my sister exists .

Darkesteyes · 15/09/2014 00:15

Last month my DM called the police on the next door neighbour. They had had a disagreement over access to behind the garages opposite that go with the houses.

The police turned up and blamed my DM saying the neighbour has just as much right to access as her and my dad do. And that the neighbour shouldnt have to ask them for permission or the key every time. My DM got VERY shouty at the police officer. In fact she was probably lucky she didnt get arrested for wasting police time.

Now that they have seen her and what she can be like i plan to capitalise on this if she ever emotionally abuses me or gaslights me again.

Recent events has brought it all back and i wont let her get away with it anymore.

Darkesteyes · 15/09/2014 00:19

Recent events HAVE brought it all back Sorry for the shit grammar.

Darkesteyes · 15/09/2014 00:31

When my DB and his ex were in the process of splitting up in the mid 90s my DM would sit on the wall outside their flat to be intimidating to the ex.

It was my DM who called the police (in above post) but she let my dad think it was the neighbour who called them.

CarbeDiem · 15/09/2014 00:45

i wont let her get away with it anymore
Good for you Darkest, from what I've picked up from your posts during my time on MN - She's a real piece of work :(

Darkesteyes · 15/09/2014 00:57

Thanks Carbe Thanks

I love her because shes my mum but as a person i dont like her at all.

CarbeDiem · 15/09/2014 01:22

As the old saying goes.......
You can chose your friends but You can't choose your family

unfortunately

My DH has that kind of relationship with his Mother, she's not really a nice person. He's such a softy at heart and it really hurts him sometimes but he is getting stronger. I've made him see why she does it, mostly playing him off against his half brother but she's a master at emotional blackmail/bullying/abuse too. I taught him how to react towards her so that she doesn't ever 'win'.
It works and it drives her absolutely crazy when he now doesn't argue back or do what she tells him :) I'm proud of him because if he didn't start standing up to her he would basically have his life ruled by her. I ignore her and have done from the start when she goes off on one and I told her pretty early on that I was an adult and my own Mother didn't attempt to tell me how to live my life - she has her moments but we mostly get on fine.

Darkesteyes · 15/09/2014 01:42

Oh Carbe thats awful. I hope your DH feels better and stronger for dealing with it.

I think you have dealt with it brilliantly.

Does she turn on the tears like my DM does?

CarbeDiem · 15/09/2014 02:50

He does and he can't believe that he let her get away with it for almost all of his life.

Yes - the waterworks are a particular favourite when things don't go her way but he can deal with that. It's the viciousness she spews that he finds difficult and hurtful - but he's getting there.

When we first started our relationship - he warned me but it took me to really see for myself, just what she was capable of. It was comical - she really does clutch her pearls :) it went like this -
She was losing her baby (he was 28 FGS) :)

I was taking him away from her (I wasn't, we live close)

What did I want with him (I could have spelled it out but I think that would have sent her even more over the edge)

Why did he chose me when I was a divorced mother of 3 - yes,really.
(It was true but I was 31 and had escaped an unhappy awful marriage 1 year before - She had me painted as some middle aged black widow)

It will never work(it still is 5 years later) My kids will hate him (they didn't and don't) He shouldn't have kids with me (we are ttc but she won't know until it's done or else she'll probably be on the phone every 10 seconds to make sure we can't have sex)

She continues to try and tell us what to do - for example if we say we're going to buy a black sofa she'll launch into rant about how white is better, white will last longer etc..etc.. She can't be wrong and has to be in control :) She knows she can only say so much to me before I say something and basically tell her it's none of her business and when we'd like an opinion we'll ask for one.

I could write a book, there's so much but I mostly just do the head tilt and make MmmHmm noises.
FIL is nuts and deserves a medal for putting up with her.

CarbeDiem · 15/09/2014 03:06

Ha ha!
We recently stayed with pil for a few weeks (only because she was leaving the country for most our visit though - minimal contact is dh's choice)
Anyway - we try to stay in our room as much as possible for watching tv, chilling out etc. When she's there.
She would knock on the door - Dh would shout come in - she continues knocking until he goes and opens the door and tells her he told her to enter.

EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. she replies ''ohhhhh noooo, I wouldn't just walk in, in case you and Carbe were making love'' He's told her he wouldn't have said 'come in' if we were.
I told her (after the millionth time) ''making love nah! we do that downstairs when your asleep'' :) Her face was like this - Shock
I don't understand what she gets out of being so difficult.

Ooo another - Can you tell I can't sleep :)

She tried to ruin xmas a few years back because dh refused to be forced into speaking to his half brother - they'd fell out and tbh his brother is a trouble making arsehole - she didn't like it when dh point blank refused so she bitched and whined, tried to get me to force him - nope! then tried his dad - nope! So she stormed upstairs in a fit of rage thinking we'd come and apologise and dh would comply.
It backfired spectacularly - we ALL left her there and got on with it. It took 3 hours but she came back down feigning a headache and looked miserable as sin so we just ignored her some more. She hasn't tried it since :)

Darkesteyes · 15/09/2014 18:41

Bloody hell Carbe.......toxic doesnt even cover it. Thanks Cake