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Original poster

Secrets we want to tell but can't

925 replies

LizzieBelle · 02/08/2014 18:35

There was a thread on here a few months ago which was full of confessions and secrets that we can't tell in real life...My secret is that I know the neighbour on one side of me is having a naughty affair with the neighbour on the other side of me. As soon and the husband goes to work and the kids go to school she's off with the single dad on the other side of me...

Has anyone else got a secret??

OP posts:
Darkesteyes · 11/09/2014 16:28

Married i think you did the right thing in cancelling. I think that you really want to have sex with someone who really wants sex with you. I couldnt sleep with someone unless they wanted me as much as i wanted them.

And it sounds like you are still in love with her.

CarbeDiem · 11/09/2014 20:59

Married You've most likely done the right thing mate.
Have you discussed it and obviously ruled out depression, medical issues etc?
Would your dw not agree to an open marriage? Would you leave the relationship if it came to it?

Really feel for you, it's heartbreaking when the person you love doesn't want a physical relationship. The rejection is crippling. Thanks

WillowWoods · 11/09/2014 21:41

DH's drunk friend told him that he'd fathered twins with a 3 month fling. She demands £500 a week,or threatens to tell his wife. I'm not supposed to know anything about this,but think that he should get a DNA test.

321zerobaby · 11/09/2014 21:49

I've read through most of the thread, and the most shocking thing is, that its possible to have 7 orgasms in a night! IfITsNOtOk what's the secret to that? I can manage 2 at the most, I am v jealous!

CarbeDiem · 11/09/2014 22:01

Jesus Christ!! £500 per week Shock
Tell your Dh to tell his friend that he should call her bluff and say he's told his wife and she has said not another penny over the minimum, milk, nappies etc.. is going to be paid until a DNA test is done.
You could say he deserves all he gets but that's some serious piss taking going on there.

I'm another who couldn't manage 7 321 my fanjo goes a bit numb and untouchable after 3 maximum 4 :)
I meant to ask IfIts whether they were part of multiple O's or each one individual? I still don't think I could rack up 7 even if they were multiples, it's just too damn sensitive/annoying :)
Whatever - Enjoy and long may they continue ;)

EggButty · 11/09/2014 22:43

I have name changed for this.

When I was 21 and a student overseas, I worked as a translator on a film set and had a two-month fling with the male lead. It was very much an 'on-location' thing and even though we'd both be returning to the UK after the shoot, there was never any suggestion on his part that we would continue seeing each other. At the time, he was a particular favourite of the tabloids and they were obsessed with his love-life and his reputation for being a bit of a boozer and womaniser, even though he was divorced. The News of the World were about to break a story on our "affair"' even though it was pretty straightforward stuff, and I was worried that I would get kicked out of Uni for it, not to mention what my mum & dad would say. As it was, he'd been shagging a fairly well-known glamour model just before he met me and she did a kiss-and-tell on him, which was infinitely better tabloid fodder than our timid relationship (such as it was) wasn't mentioned.

The second secret is a bit harder to talk about but I will give it a go. I had a relationship with a musician on and off, mainly on, for over two years. He isn't a household name but the band itself is certainly well-known. He was married at the time but they had separated (this was true, I met his wife a few times when she brought their kids to see him) I loved him madly, passionately and completely blindly. In his lucid times he was fabulous, but he was coming to the end of more than twenty years of a life of excess and was pretty much addled all the time. He was a big drinker (absolute alcoholic) and this, plus the touring lifestyle (drugs and shagging, as well as the booze), made me call time on it all. It wasn't a difficult decision. He's since got sober and I recently found out he got married again and I cried for two days. I don't know why, I am happily married myself now, but I did. Two good friends know about this (it was they who introduced us in the first place) and none of my family.

LickleMiss · 11/09/2014 23:22

EggButty Never regret the things you have done, you sound like you have a happy marriage now. Be pleased you have memories

Darkesteyes · 11/09/2014 23:24

YY Our experiences are part of who we are.

EggButty · 11/09/2014 23:56

I'm happy with the life I have now and don't have any real regrets. I think it's natural to think "What if....." about former partners but I am a little bemused at my reaction to the musician fella's new marriage. I don't think it was an "It shouldda been me" response. I don't know what it was, really. Perhaps mourning a part of my life rather than the person. I do wish him well, I always have done.

CuckooInTheNest · 12/09/2014 00:12

I met him

Itsfab · 12/09/2014 07:18

EggButty I cried when I was told my first love had got married. I then allowed myself to fall in love for the first time since him even though I had had 4 other boyfriend and been engaged to 3 - no fuck, all of them Hmm. I married DH and a few years later found out my FL hadn't been married back then. He got married a year after me..

Keepithidden · 12/09/2014 07:56

My Mum is dying of an aggresive disease, I'm kind of jealous of her.

I feel a lot of guilt about this becaue I've got a family to support, siblings who care for me and my Dad is going through hell, and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future (they have a very strong relationship).

EggButty · 12/09/2014 13:08

Thanks for your kind comments. He wasn't my first love and thankfully he wasn't my last but it was an intense two or three years, I guess. I must admit I couldn't sleep much last night after writing out my 'confession' on here. I think I was just having a bit if a wallow, indulging myself. I feel fine today.

I forgot to mention that the reason my family and friends didn't (and don't) know about my relationship with the musician us because I gave up my job to be with him. I had a pretty decent career and I dropped it like a stone because he asked me to. It was easy not to tell anyone important to me as I worked overseas anyway and travelled a lot so just claimed I was on business trips or extended training courses if asked why I was in wherever I was that week. It seems ridiculous to me now that I gave up a career I had worked hard on all my adult life for a man, any man, but at the firmly non- naive, spring chicken age of 33, I did just that.

Darkesteyes · 12/09/2014 13:11

Keepit Im incredibly sorry to hear that. My best wishes to you Thanks

EggButty · 12/09/2014 13:25

Many hugs, keepit xxx

Keepithidden · 12/09/2014 13:49

Thanks Darkest and Egg.

CarbeDiem · 12/09/2014 15:22

So sorry Keep Thanks best wishes xxx

Tipsykisses · 12/09/2014 16:57

Great thread !!

Can someone please let me know who Tennis singer & news reader are ???

I still can't work those two out & it's driving me crazy !!

Crabappled · 12/09/2014 19:17

Long time lurker and occasional poster, I've nc for this.
I'm on the verge of starting an affair with a friend that I do a sport with. We've been texting for the last few weeks and they've been getting more and more intimate. He admitted a while ago that he has feelings for me and although I'm reasonably happily married, I'm bored. It's so complicated and our lives are connected in so many ways but part of me just thinks fuck it!! I deserve some fun, he doesn't want anything serious just some no strings sex.

Wow I feel so much better just for saying it

Iflyaway · 12/09/2014 19:17

I,m loving this thread.

Life is what happens when you make other plans never mind people who lie and cheat to get what they want

However, some mention of Aids/HIV makes me sit up and remember when I worked at an Aids Org.

One of the % included in the amount of people with it is those who don,t know, or won,t get tested.

Anyway, takes 3 months after infection for it to show up in tests (used to be 6).

Just so you know....

Iflyaway · 12/09/2014 19:19

Oh, and by the way no way am I judging anyone! throw the first stone haha

CarbeDiem · 12/09/2014 22:56

So why do the clinics still (as recent as 4 months ago) give an initial answer back after 6 weeks for HIV tests, still needs to be repeated at 12 weeks though to give 100% answer.
I always wondered.

Darkesteyes · 12/09/2014 23:12

Just one of the many reasons why condoms are non negotiable. Apart from chlamydia, gonnorheoa etc.

Thats why i cant understand why so many men are so unwilling to use them.

EggButty · 12/09/2014 23:19

I've never met a man (er, in anger, so to speak) who wouldn't wear a condom. I've had a "oh do I have to"? once or twice but everyone else has been fine with it, the vast majority of times it's been a wholly mutual expectation.

lollypop77 · 12/09/2014 23:37

Crabappled if you are just bored and are happily married dont do it ... I never here happy endings with affairs ...you wil get mixed up and live with a terrible guilt ... if yr getting a buzz from the texting its harmless fun ...but anything more wil mess you up big time ... Confused