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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Secrets we want to tell but can't

925 replies

LizzieBelle · 02/08/2014 18:35

There was a thread on here a few months ago which was full of confessions and secrets that we can't tell in real life...My secret is that I know the neighbour on one side of me is having a naughty affair with the neighbour on the other side of me. As soon and the husband goes to work and the kids go to school she's off with the single dad on the other side of me...

Has anyone else got a secret??

OP posts:

Groovee · 31/08/2014 16:02

Dh's mate claims he and his wife split up the weekend that she went away to the same place as we were. I remember this weekend clearly as I found out I was expecting ds that weekend.

His DP however told me exactly how long they have been together and it was before his wife left

VeryBadThings · 31/08/2014 17:44

I am still in love with my first love. We recently met again having not seen each other or had contact for nearly 20 years. He still loves me too. He's single, I'm not. We slept together once but are not currently having contact as we know its wrong.

I'm engaged to my DP but I don't want to marry him. He had a year long EA with a work colleague just after our DC was born. When I discovered it, we agreed to try to work through it and rebuild our relationship which we have done quite successfully...or so it appears. However, it's only successful because I'm burying my feelings and I don't want to be the one who makes us fail. In truth, if I could walk away without causing damage to my DC, I would. And I'd marry first love tomorrow if he wanted to.

faithfaithfaith · 31/08/2014 18:28

My ex who dumped me by text despite all he pretended to be and then announced he was going back to wife for second time, committed mortgage fraud to pay her off when they split last year. She demanded huge amount and house was on market. He couldn't get a remortgage based on his self employed income. So he got a buy to let mortgage based on the rental income generated by tenants. He has never had tenants and never moved out. Broker helped him arrange it all. She bought a property outright with the money he gave her.
She is now back living with him whilst renting her place out.

Itsfab · 31/08/2014 18:45

VeryBadThings - don't marry your DP. Your child will be more devastated if you do and then split years later. You didn't fail at anything. He betrayed you and you tried hard to make it work. Imagine in 12 months time waking up with your FL and in a few years being able to call him your husband as you grow his baby in your tummy...

I still have feelings for my FL too and understand the pull but in my case I do love my DH very much and there is more to it than just being in lust with my ex.

Grab your life. Don't waste it on someone who doesn't deserve it.

Effendi · 31/08/2014 19:14

I just started a FWB with a hot colleague about a month ago. I go to his apartment for the best sex I ever had. Today we DTD 4 times in 3.5 hours. It's very hard to keep my hands off him at work, he's gorgeous.

HoratioCaineAndTheSunglassesOf · 31/08/2014 19:23

Darkesteyes Friday was the birthday of my OM. I saw him today.

busyme23 · 31/08/2014 21:07

Long time lurker here.

I went through a 2 year period of celibacy (by choice). I met someone when I was not even looking and decided to explore the possibility of a relationship again. I don't know how I got lost in it all. We had a connection however the minute he felt emotionally vulnerable he pulled back. I tried being patient with him for almost 4 years. Eventually I cut contact back in April but I think about him all the time.
I realised that I was thinking about him and he was thinking about himself but no one was thinking about me.

My heart is breaking...I have no idea how to get over him. I miss him so much and although I've been on dates with other men I find it hard to see move on properly.

I love him and wish so much that he would give us a proper chance.

Darkesteyes · 31/08/2014 21:46

Horatio Last time i saw my ex OM was almost 7 years ago.

Sapat · 31/08/2014 22:00

A nice one: my cousin is going to propose to his girlfriend in a really thoughtful romantic way. I am the only one who knows because he asked for help in my professional capacity. I am always the last one to know exciting stuff, so when we had a family do this summer I kept thinking "I know something you don't".

ChillieJeanie · 01/09/2014 06:15

Last summer I ran into an old flame from uni I hadn't seen in well over a decade. Since then we have occasional text and phone sex, and have met for sex once when I was in his town. We live hundreds of miles apart. I know it doesn't mean anything/won't go anywhere - he always had a girlfriend (different ones, not the same woman) when we occasionally hooked up at uni, and had quite the reputation, but he was always honest with me about what it was (sex, and that was all). He knows I'm single and has never mentioned being married, but I'm as certain as I can be that he is. I'm not going to ask the question, and will continue enjoying the occasional text or phone sessions.

weyayechickenpie · 01/09/2014 08:14

Carbe that is the only way to describe it not webbed but that shape like a spatula

Risole no it begins with a D. Am pleased am not the only one to have witnessed it.

CarbeDiem · 01/09/2014 11:50

Wey I'm still I've ahem... experienced many variations huge, big, normal, small, tiny, different degree's of bending but just can't imagine that.

Maybe it's a medical condition/an accident/he squashed it somehow ?

Dreamingofmiami · 01/09/2014 12:05

Dh called me by his ex-girlfriend's name after a few drinks. She had been on Facebook earlier that day doing the ice bucket challenge in her bra.

CarbeDiem · 01/09/2014 17:28

That's not nice Dreaming What did he say?
I've been known to call Dh by the cats name but never an ex's.

HoratioCaineAndTheSunglassesOf · 01/09/2014 17:33

And also for you Darkesteyes.

pippinleaf · 01/09/2014 20:52

I have a colleague who is in her twenties and is extremely religious. She's been engaged for years and this sex before marriage is against gods wishes and is therefore a virgin, and so is her fiancé. She did get drunk one night and told us all that she does have anal sex with her fiancé, just not normal sex. Now she's forgotten she told us and we can't help smirking when she bleats on about how special it is that she's saving herself.

CeilingThomas · 01/09/2014 21:05

My best friend has been TTC for ages and told me the other day she's about 8 weeks pregnant :-) I'm the only one other than her DH that knows.

I blocked the loo the other day but didn't bother trying to sort it out. DH then did a huge poo and I blamed the subsequent bathroom carnage on him :-) he spent Saturday afternoon gagging as he plunged it!!

Meerka · 01/09/2014 21:06

pippin ... tell me you're joking ....

HumblePieMonster · 01/09/2014 21:12

that's commonplace in American Christianity, apparently, Meerka - I think I heard it on television recently... or read it here...

DustBunnyFarmer · 01/09/2014 21:16

Pippinleaf's post reminds me of that 'Every Sperm is Sacred' song in Monty Python's Meaning of Life. Surely if you are that religious, wasting all that good potentially life-giving sperm on anal sex is a sin too?

Meerka · 02/09/2014 10:53

I'd heard it but hoped it hadn't made its way over the atlantic. How .... bloody ... wrong ... is that.

airedailleurs · 02/09/2014 14:08

happens frequently in European catholic countries too - Italy, Portugal, Spain..

Darkesteyes · 02/09/2014 22:03

I HAVE to tell someone what happened today. I was shopping in the supermarket when this bloke came up and said hello. I said hello back then two mins later he said "you dont remember me do you" So i asked him if he works there. He said no......somehow we just got chatting....he asked if i was married . I said yes. Then he told me he thinks im really attractive and gave me his number. I was gobsmacked Whats even stranger is he looks a little bit like my ex OM. I felt happy then euphoric then depressed and weepy (because this reminds me of what i dont have at home) Weirdly i also met ex OM after losing weight This is something i was really NOT expecting.

Still thinking about what to do next if anything. Feel a bit stunned.

Darkesteyes · 02/09/2014 22:04

It wasnt until i got home that i remembered he was in front of me in the queue one day but that was several weeks ago.

JonesTheSteam · 02/09/2014 23:16

I'm scared to say this out loud in RL, (and apprehensive on here!) but DH said recently that he's fallen head over heels back in love with me, or more accurately has remembered why he fell in love with me in the first place, following his affair with a woman he worked with. And even though they are only words, I can tell he has too.

Also on Friday he was slightly later home than usual because he took his wedding ring to be enlarged as it is now too small for him. (He probably should have bought a size bigger to start with, then he got out of the habit of wearing it much as one of his workplaces banned jewellery, and then he put on a little weight.)

He is now wearing it all the time.

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