Need impartial perspective

[Bobbybaby]

My DP and I are fairly young, no DCs or anything, been together two years. We are very different people. I am an old raver type, used to party a lot, doing stuff (party substances, please don't judge me!) that I shouldn't.My DP is verrrry straight, moral etc. Never so much as smoked a cigarette. When we got together I kind of put my "wild" days behind me.On Saturday my DPs friend had a party, they are also "hardcore party people" (I hate myself for saying that, stick with me, please). Anyway - I ended up doing something I shouldn't (a line of coke, again please don't judge me) and admitting it to DP late on sunday evening. DP absolutely disgusted - cant look at me etc etc. He hasn't spoken to me since and slept on the sofa last night. I am staying at a friendstonightas he "doesn't see how we can resolve this issue". I think our relationship is over. ive promised I will never do anything like that again, apologised continuously but it doesn't seem to make a difference.Do I deserve this? Would you leave your DP? I stopped doing this sort of thing about 3 years ago and it really was a one off "oh im so drunk lets go wild sort of thing".
I really think that this has broken us and I'm pretty devastated.

I think the issue is whether you made a promise to him not to do drugs early in your relationship. From the sounds of it, your "partying" became part of your past when you got together with your DP, but you never made any commitment to him to steer clear of them, and he never told you that he wouldn't go out with you if you took drugs.

He knew who you were when you got together, but is undoubtedly really pleased you've calmed down. He probably just panicked when he found out you did a line because it was something that now belongs to the "old you."

I would just reassure him that you're not planning on getting into hard core partying again. I see from your posts that you've made up, but just watch out he doesn't take your compromise as a reason to lay down the law.

And you are right. People who haven't indulged in recreational drug use often don't understand what it is like - i.e. one line does not a druggie make.

That said, there's far more awareness now of the impact of the drugs chain and drug money. It's not ethical to snort coke, so that's a good reason to steer clear.