Dating thread 77

[neiljames77]

Just got in from my holiday and saw that 76 was full.

That's exactly what he said to me back in May lol

I've been reading dating thread a while, posted a little. I'm marking on new thread and thinking aloud.

Not sure if I could be as regular as some of you but you're all good company for the way I'm feeling.

STBXH left last summer. I have a fuck buddy who is a safety zone, a sticking plaster. A family friend in same shoes. Really good sex and totally not the right person for me long term.

I fancy the pants off a nearby fellow who I've met out running. We've shared 3 evenings with wine....

But I put myself on tinder to distract myself from mr runner. And had a successful date on Saturday. Totally cool guy easy to talk to, wealthy smart but our schedules are poles apart. He said he wanted to meet again.

Then Sunday. More wine with mr runner and we snog. He tells me he is besotted by me by text.
But he turned me down at first as he was seeing someone. But he makes plans to see me. But he also sees the seeing someone woman.

Now I'm in the awful quandary does he just want sex? I can't sleep with him if he has a girlfriend as my ex had an affair and it was horrific.

Pink I wanted to ask (ahem very forward) has he been rigidly attentive except for the actual deed? That's more of an indication if you ask me. Def nerves if so.

LL do u mean his member when u say 'rigidly attentive' if so then no

Can't be with a guy long term who can't get it up....shallow I know!

I'd have definitely been looking for the hard on pressed against the leg in snogging sessions beforehand. My chap had no issue there, it was just when we got naked he got fazed but it was a temporary glitch. Had I not had the "hard on indicator" prior to getting naked then I would have been far more worried.

And it's not shallow to want a sex life. I don't believe we can fix some of these guys and it's not our job to. It's one thing if your long term partner develops a problem but a new bloke? Nope. Not my job to fix him.

A friend of mine once dated someone who was impotent. He claimed it had never happened before but a few months in he confessed he'd always had problems but every time he met someone new he hoped it would fix itself. We were in our 20s back then, as was he.

Jesus!!! I can't even go on the bus without getting one!!!
I've had to miss my stop a few times because it wouldn't go away.

If he's a postman though Pinklaydee, it won't be a physical thing because he'll be getting plenty of exercise. It'll be psychological. Don't write him off just yet. You might have to get him pissed or something if he needs to relax. Just don't get him too pissed.

Ooooh new thread! Going to try and keep up with this one!

I keep switching between being so sure about my BF and our relationship and then having all these doubts. He isn't one for talking about feelings much but I think his actions show that he is serious.

It doesn't help that we don't get to see each other all that often and I miss him.

I don't know if it is a trust thing or an insecurity thing but sometimes I wish I knew what he was thinking! This dating stuff is all so complicated.

LL that's so funny 'rigidly attentive' - made me laugh! I agree though, I couldn't have a relationship with someone who can't get or keep an errection! Sorry, but it's non negotiable and I know men get nervous, but like 'before' said we can't fix them.

I've definitely felt a solid mass with Mr Keen - so much for keeping my distance, I've been awake since 5am after waking up dreaming about him! Help!!

Awww, don't be mean! Just give him a chance! Bet you it was only first time nerves.

Oh louby bring forward that waxing appointment!

Pink what u thinking re postie? Does he drink a lot? Could that be part of it?

Mini believe me I've tried! Waiting for a cancellation but until then I have to stick with Friday's appointment!

pink have you seen him since the weekend away?

The first time we'd been out drinking and I did feel him against me when we were passionately snogging but then he explained his best 'time' of day was the afternoon. Ok fair enough I thought n went to sleep.

Next day had a lovely walk a drink or two in afternoon went back to BnB about 4 ish laid on the bed n he went to sleep!! I had a little snooze n then when we woke n had a little snog I thought 'yes' ! But no, was not to be and to say I was frustrated was a bloody understatement!!

Louby no not seen him and the texts have waned a bit...am I bothered? Not particularly as been chatting on Pof

He's supposed to be coming for dinner tonight but I don't know if I'm bothered either way

pink if I lay down next to Mr keen on a Saturday afternoon in a B & B he would not go asleep! That's a worry in itself the fact that he slept, he should be tearing your clothes off by rights!

Maybe this dalliance has run its course!

The bloke I was chatting to last night (6 hours neatly in the end!) even texted good morning today. He's the one who cancelled our first date because he'd met someone else... that's ended now. Do I give him a chance if he asks for a date? Seeing as I wasn't first choice last time?

Pink I would agree with Louby. How on earth was he relaxed enough to go to sleep but not get it on with you? Glad you're not too bothered!

Depends how much you like him
Sassy and if it always be a factor that you was second choice.

Exactly Louby!!! That's way it should be surely??? Yep I think that really has confirmed it for me!

Think I might have to make the call.... This is the part I hate about dating

Good luck with the call pink.

Louby can't you do it at home yourself? Or just sod it tell him not to touch your legs

Sassy I'd go. It doesn't mean you were exactly 2nd choice before as he had probably been chatting and dating whoever it was before so at least he was honest enough to cancel that date last time?

Well I tried to call n went to voicemail so text and explained I tried to call....told him I felt there was something 'missing' and so felt like we should call it a day. He replied back saying he thought we'd 'rushed things' and thought we shouldn't have gone away for a few weeks yet

What so we could get more invested only to find we were sexually incompatible??? Nah don't agree one jot!

Just noticed he back on Pof glad he didn't take it badly, maybe he was thinking same then

SO! LOs dad wasn't able to take him last night because of work so tinder guy ended up coming over last night, we were just chatting, watching a movie and had a bit of a snog. Just as things were heating up LO woke up screaming!! I apologised and went to settle him and when I came back he was getting ready to leave and said his brother was locked out the house as he didn't have keys. I think he was just uncomfortable to be honest which is understandable.. He's away to work 200 miles away for 2 weeks as of today as he's working the Commonwealth Games, have discussed meeting when he gets back on a child free night

Pink sounds like you've done the right thing. I think after 6 weeks as bloody adults going away isn't rushing things.

Pink, sounds like you've done the right thing. I feel a bit sorry for postie, as the situation must be embarrassing for him, but, as others have said, it's not up to you to fix him. I think if you'd been more into him, it would have been different, and you might have wanted to see what happened over the next few dates, but I think the fact that you weren't looking forward to him coming over says a lot. You can't force that feeling if it's not there! Plus, as Louby said, on your first trip away you'd expect him to be all over you, not falling asleep mid-afternoon. I have to admit I'd have been (perhaps unreasonably) a bit hurt by that.

Louby, sounds like you're getting keener on Mr Keen. Maybe the keen-ness is catching! Did you help him choose any nice clothes?

Sassy, I'd give him a chance if you're interested - after all, it's only an hour or so of your time. But if he cancels or messes you around again, no more chances.

Lynsey, I'm glad it sounds like you and Mr Tinder liked each other. But also, I know I'm going to sound like your mum (and I'm old enough to be your mum, too!) but I'd be a little bit careful about meeting someone for the first time in your own home. I know it's difficult when you're in with DC nearly every night and don't have many other people to look after them, as I'm in that situation too. But I guess I worry about you inviting someone over who you don't really know at all. But it may be that I'm just over-cautious.

Awww. Poor postie.
I didn't know he'd done that though(falling asleep). I think I'd have said, "we get a bit of time together in a B&B and you nod off???. You're taking the piss!!!!"