Dating thread 77

[neiljames77]

Just got in from my holiday and saw that 76 was full.

Thank you Cat He isn't talking about it, seems to be avoiding it. I won't ask yet. Will leave it and ask him about it soon. Soon enough, so he knows I am interested, not so soon enough that he thinks I'm too invested.

Pink It shouldn't feel like that. I think there is a compromise to be had between falling head over heels and falling so slow you can't anticipate it until it happens. The middle ground would be at least looking forward to seeing them and knowing you would rather spend time with them than not. How long have you been seeing him (I'm still catching up here, apologies)

Littleblue dcs seemed happy to meet him and we bumped in to him again today! But nice that it's casual and nature. My mum was there today too. So far he is just my friend but especially my youngest dc, they aren't daft.

I will admit I'm crazy about him. I could say lots of cliche things too which would be honestly how I feel. Just hope it works out

Louby the poem worries me a little linked with his avoidance of pof message and fibbing about it.

Littleblue glad all working out with you.

Pink I think it sounds like it's make or break for date with postie then

I've been seeing him about 6 weeks now.

I wish I was crazy about him too Minime I was about my ex but then I got too close too quick and I ruined that!

Think I'm destined to be alone

It's so hard not to get too close too quick though isn't it?! I'm trying so hard to hold back bit failing dismally.

So in the 6 weeks has he managed to deliver as it were at all? Sorry of I'm being too nosy

Louby three morning texts in the form of a poem would make me feel so suffocated that I'd be more wound up by that than the POF thing! Hope you get the answers you want.

Pink hmmm, maybe you are flogging a dead horse here. I'm all for taking it slow but you do have to look forward to seeing them / like something about them. That said, fancying someone can definitely sneak up on you. I didn't fancy my XH for years but we were really good friends and then one day I caught a whiff of his aftershave and thought phwoarr and next time I looked at him he was (in my lust filled eyes) a rippling hunk of manliness, not the nerdy podgy accountant that he actually was!

No I was hoping this weekend he was going to 'deliver' Minime but as Before says that was definitely flogging a dead horse

I do like him, he a great guy....just not as much as I want to

Pink are you comparing him to someone else? Its so easy to do this. I also keep looking back with rose tinted spectacles thinking how much easier dating was years ago. You met, you kept meeting, no discussion about "us" it just morphed into "us" with no verbal contract just trust and honesty. But then I also try to remind myself how hurt I was a few times.

I have a problem where I know this guy I've been seeing is just not good for me but I can't stop thinking about him! What's that all about? I can't bear it. I've cut texting right back and am trying to distance myself. Need to find a new man to take my mind off him.

Just got back from date #4 with Mr Keen - we have actually had a really nice day. He's admitted (again) that he really likes me, finds me attractive, funny etc and that it's making him act out of character! It's quite sweet how he talks and he knows part of me thinks it's all bollocks lol! He makes me be very, very honest and I tell him exactly what I think. I've never been like that with a bloke before. Not at first anyway. He knows my cynical/bullshitter radar is working overtime!

So we went shopping. I drove and picked him up from his house. He has a really lovely home, clean & tidy, photo's of his children dotted about. He paid for lunch and we mooched about the shops. It was relaxed & a really enjoyable day!

I haven't said anything about POF yet. I figure he can do what he wants, we've made no promises to each other. If the relationship becomes physical (which is on the cards) then will be the time.

He's going away on Saturday for a week with his kids & parents so I'm seeing him again on Friday.

Wrt online dating... I get emails saying blokes want to meet me... does that mean I should message them if I like them? They haven't messaged me!

Louby that sounds like a good date, identical to the bloke I've been seeing with the constant compliments... I'm so cynical and can't really believe him!

sassy I am cynical too but have told him today I'm just going to enjoy his company and take him for who he says he is! If he fucks up, it's his loss. He will have lost a kind, caring, passionate woman. I'm too old to mess about!

It's down to him! I'm not investing emotionally in him, not yet anyway!

How do you stop that from happening though?! I am far too open and honest I think... And that makes me vulnerable. Wish I could put up a barrier like my friend does! A though she hasn't fallen for anyone at all in the 5 years since she split with her ex... she's beautiful and has had lots of dates/boyfriends...

sassy I don't know, but this time I'm keeping something of myself back. I've been deeply hurt and until I feel comfortable and sure (as best I can be) I'm remaining cautious!

Louby I suspect that because you've not had sex yet that's hugely helpful with keeping a bit back (kudos to you!). Sex floods you with that bloody bonding hormone at which point keeping that little bit back becomes trickier.

before that is so true! I'll get back to you when we've DTD which won't be long! I may be saying something different then!

What is it with those bloody hormones! Especially where women are concerned!

Louby I know. I have NSA sex rules which I follow strictly - I learned them by watching how a couple of guys behaved! No sleepovers (for me that's too personal) and no post-coital snuggles and cuddles so it's straight out of bed and sorting a drink or something. Any excuse to be up and out of bed and avoid the delicious cuddly bits which I save for the poor sod I end up in a relationship with. It works and is the only way I can enjoy an NSA liaison without any grief.

When a guy wants to snuggle and cuddle for ages after sex I tend to take it as a positive sign that he's interested in something more than just sex. I say beware the ones that say they want a relationship with you but then jump out of bed straight away... they're dodging the bonding hormones weaving their magic.

Need a quick bit of advice please... If a guy asks what your type is, does that mean he's interested?! Chatting to someone online...

Sassy just be honest. If you have a type say if you don't say that too

Sassy It's simpler than that I suspect - if he wasn't interested he wouldn't be chatting...

His interest might wane as he finds out that he doesn't share your passion for noughts and crosses or watching paint dry but for now perhaps he's just making some dull conversation.

If that's his intro line and he's written nowt else don't waste your time answering.

Lol!! This is someone I really liked back in May... We'd arranged a date but he cancelled the day before as he'd met someone else. He's back online today so I messaged him. The relationship ended last week.

Of course he knows he's my type doesn't he. I told him I've got a date arranged for Wednesday but am thinking of cancelling as he's not really my type...

Then he's fishing for the obvious compliment whereby you reply and say: "why, it could be that you're my type".

Pmsl!!! We have been chatting for nearly 3 hours now... He wasn't shy about asking for a date before.

It took mr pof over a week of chatting everyday to ask me for a date! And that took me basically saying are we going on a date then or what!