Dating thread 77

[neiljames77]

Just got in from my holiday and saw that 76 was full.

Jarlin I joined a meetup group too and went bowling last week with them, it was fun, a real mix of people. I have a lunch and drinks planned too over the next week or so!

I have tons of friends but it just extends your social circle & gets you out!!

I've joined a meet up group too but the events never seems to fall right for when I haven't got my dcs. I'm going to start an adult ballet class though and hopefully (when I get paid) sign up for an adult learning course on sign language which is something I always wanted to do.

Have a lovely weekend everyone, dates or not.

Jarlin I would take a card yes. Yes it would be better if u could talk before but I am glad he at least seems to be making more of an effort. Realising he needs to do something.

I don't know re a present. Did u say u had met him in passing before? And it's what to get that doesn't look too grand a gesture but enough. I've got 2 dds too. If u wanted maybe a cinema voucher or something like that? I think I might be tempted to just get a card

Jarlin, I'm rubbish at buying presents, so I won't give you any advice on that! I think, like Minime, I'd be tempted to get just a card. I'm really happy that Slow's invited you to lunch with his son, and hopefully you'll get the opportunity to have a proper chat before too long.

Louby, you've had an eventful few days! Has the guy you met last night been in touch? I find if I've enjoyed a date I can't wait for them to get in touch, but if I haven't I hope I don't hear from them again.

Folk, how are you?

Meanwhile, I'm finding OD hard, and I haven't had any dates yet! There's only one man on POF I like the look of (perhaps I'm incredibly fussy?) and we're meeting next weekend. But I find it hard knowing he's chatting to other people, which is weird as I'm not usually a particularly jealous person. I think I'm scared that he'll meet someone before he meets me and then cancel our date. Or that we'll meet but he won't like me as much as I like him. Or of course it could be the other way round. Aaaagh, I've got to stop thinking about it, haven't I...

misscorpsebride, it's a tricky situation, but I'd get in touch with him, as you have little to lose, and possibly a lot to gain. Two years ago I went on a few dates with someone, then decided he wasn't for me. But I kept thinking about him, and about 5 months later I contacted him again. This time it resulted in an 18-month relationship. So I'd say it's worth a try.

Jarlin, I don't have a huge number of things on my 'no' list (although men much more than 5 years older and younger than me, too far away and smokers would be on that list) but I find when I click on the profiles that most of them just don't appeal to me. It's not because they're not good looking (I've never gone for traditional good looks) but I just can't see us clicking.

I think that's partly why I think there's a high chance of Walt (as I'm going to call him) meeting someone else. To me, he stands out a mile from any of the other men on there! No, we haven't talked on the phone. He hasn't suggested it, and I'm happy about that, as I prefer not to talk on the phone before meeting. Ideally I'd like a week or two of messaging, then meeting. Unfortunately we've already had over 3 weeks of messaging, and still another week to go, aaaagh!

It's funny how when it's someone else it's easy to advise them of the Dating Thread Rules, but so much harder to follow when it's you!

Thanks for asking, by the way, and sorry about the essay! I haven't told anyone in RL about Walt so have to off-load here.

So, I did text the "how are you" type of thing to which he replied in a very polite way and asked how I was. But it's just awkward now, to say the least...

Misscorpse, I totally agree with what Jarlin said and think it's up to you to make the next move. If he doesn't reply, or doesn't want to meet up, then it's disappointing, but at least you've tried... That's what I felt when I contacted Mr C again - I knew I was putting myself on the line for rejection, but on balance I thought that was better than not trying.

Jarlin, I haven't tried Tinder, no. It sounds a bit scary as I guess you have to put a photo up, don't you? (So far I have no photo on POF and just send one to anyone I'm interested in). And you're absolutely right - I should be chatting to more people, but guess what? Yes, I'm doing it totally wrong and just chatting to Walt. (Which I guess is partly why I hate the thought that he's chatting to others!) I was chatting to someone else, but he went a bit strange on me, wanting more personal info than I was prepared to give (I'm pretty wary) and saying he didn't want to message any more. My immediate reaction was relief as a) I felt I'd dodged a bullet and b) I only really wanted to meet Walt anyway.

When did you finally get to meet Slow in person? And was he like you expected after all the build-up? Did you like him straight away?

Hi everyone, sorry I've not caught up on the thread yet - it moves so fast!

I'm a bit fed up with the whole OLD thing already. I've had a few abusive messages now from men to whom I haven't responded. One just said 'hi' and because I didn't answer within 6 minutes he sent another saying how ugly I was etc. Why message me then? .

I have spoken to some on the face of it nice guys but I can't be bothered with the chit chat. I find myself being like you cat and just thinking 'meh'. But on the other hand I feel guilty when I ignore guys as I've seen many profiles that say all women on POF are stuck up and they just get ignored. I don't want to be rude but I can't be bothered to message absolutely everybody. Should I be saying 'thanks but no thanks' or just ignoring? Not sure what's the best thing to do.

I'm chatting to a guy who has invited me out tonight but he's said a couple of weird things so I'm not sure. I'm at a loose end though so kind of tempted.

On the other hand, I met a guy for casual sex this morning. That was much more fun - banter by message for a few days, great sex, no expectations. It was just easy in comparison. But then I don't know if I want to keep doing that.

SingleSock, anyone who says something abusive because you haven't replied to a message for 6 minutes (or any other length of time, come to that) is just showing you what type of person they are - ie not one you'd ever want to meet. I wonder why he's single??!

As for the guy who's invited you out tonight, what kind of weird things has he said? I suppose it depends if they're weird in a worrying way or not.

Re replying to messages, when I did OD many years ago, I used to reply to every message, but now I don't. If someone's bothered to write a proper message I usually do, but not just for a 'hi' or something like that.

I wish I could just meet men for casual sex, but I have to feel emotionally involved with someone to want to do anything like that. It's a bit annoying sometimes!

Yes, you're so right cat. It just makes me mad as I wouldn't dream of being that rude to anyone.

I think what I'm finding so off putting is how keen a lot of guys are. Two or three messages in and they're being a bit full on. He also mentioned liking feet which I find a bit odd.

Yes, it's mainly the 'hi' messages I ignore of which I seem to get a lot. Coupled with a sparse profile I just think what's the point?

I used to think I couldn't do casual sex but I got a FB a month or so ago and really surprised myself. I don't mind doing it now and again when the need arises but it's not something I want to get into too often. I am cringing slightly though because he somehow managed to make my coil fall out . Once we'd done it was just lying there on the bed. It was due for replacement soon anyway but I'll have to make an appointment ASAP which is a bit of a pain.

I agree, SingleSock, I wouldn't be that rude to anyone either. Even with the guy who went a bit weird on me, I just sent him a nice polite message.

I don't like guys who are too full on too quickly - it really puts me off. I just keep thinking, "But you don't even know me!" But having said that, I'd like Walt's messages to be a bit more keen than they are. He said one really nice thing, which really touched me, but all his other messages have been the kind of message you'd send to a mate. But maybe that's partly my fault too.

I'm not sure if the liking feet thing would put me off or not. To be honest, if he said that before we'd even met, it probably would. I was reading a profile this morning where the guy kept going on about how much he liked tights. I wonder if any woman finds that attractive?

So ... do you think you're going to go tonight? And if so, where are you going? I guess just make sure it's somewhere public if you're getting vibes he might be a bit weird but you still want to go.

Oh dear, re the coil ... I've never had one so didn't know that could happen!

Jarlin, when I first met Mr C I didn't think he was attractive at all. I had that 'oh no' feeling too, thinking that the date would just be, in many ways, a waste of time. But there were other things about him that I really liked, and the attraction just grew.

Why did Slow wait for 3 days to contact you? (Actually I suppose, given his name, I don't really need to ask, do I?!)

It will be over 4 weeks from when Walt and I first started messaging to when (if!) we meet next weekend. That's just too long! I also have a strange feeling he's going to be older and shorter than he claims to be, though I may be completely wrong!

Jarlin, I can't remember - have you met his DDs before? If not, it definitely sounds like a step forward for you and Slow. But I can understand you being nervous too. If you're anything like as nice in RL as you are on this thread, though, you'll be fine!

When you say Slow was shorter than you expected, had he put the wrong height on his profile? I don't know how I'd feel if Walt's done that - quite annoyed, I think. I've been honest on my profile and it feels unfair if he hasn't been the same. But I'm pretty sure people on this thread have said they've knocked a few years off their age on their profile, so maybe I shouldn't be judgemental.

Mr C was only the same height as me, but at least he was honest about it. And I think it was about date 6 when we first kissed - which was about 10 months after we first met!

My date from last night sent me a very lovely message saying exactly what I had thought, pleasant evening but the elusive spark/interest wasn't there, he wished me luck - he's a lovely, decent man and replied telling him that!

2 hours out of my life spent with a decent chap is nothing!

I've been chatting/flirting with someone who I chatted to a while back but then disappeared. he's sent me quite a few saucy pics which have really made me smile.

I do believe I'm no longer a sexting virgin as I appeared to have lost it this afternoon! ha ha!!!

Ah, Louby, that's really nice. I feel the same as you - if I've had a fun couple of hours with someone, I don't consider it a waste of time, even if nothing comes of it. Meeting new people (if they're decent) is a really interesting way to spend time. And it's always good if the 'no spark' feeling is mutual - much more tricky if one person feels a spark but the other doesn't. (Dreading that happening next Saturday, especially if I feel a spark and he doesn't!)

So, are you and Mr Saucy going to meet up?!

Louby liking the sound of flirting what a nice way to spend an afternoon. And at least you and last nights date felt the same.

Jarlin I really hope it goes well for you tomorrow do let us know.

Folk how are u doing?