Dating thread 77

[neiljames77]

Just got in from my holiday and saw that 76 was full.

Pink mr pof is coming round later yeah but I'm just in such a grumpy mood it's maybe not a good idea this dating is like a roller coaster and I'm no good at controlling it! I want to be on it but due to way my dcs dad works there is no routine or structure so I see mr pof just us for a few days and then dcs come back and can be 2 weeks before they go again or 3 days! I feel like I'm living two lives which I just hate but I guess is part of dating when you have kids

Yes I have my second date with mr Gemini tonight, we are going for an Indian in this bloody weather

Pink have a lovely evening

I'm trying to catch up - I've been missing the thread - but I've not really been dating. I think I needed time, but I might be ready not (not sure). Couple of gorgeous 6 foot 3 types messaging me and I've a date with a 6'4 beardy guy arranged for Sunday, but he doesn't seem quite witty/clever enough for me, so I may not pursue that one. Nothing concrete's been arranged yet. I like tall men, so this is all looking promising. Not much action though - as I'm being super selective about who I date now. I've got writing group on Monday - going to read an excerpt from my dating book.

Pink that sounds good with Mr Gemini - think I missed this.

Ooh good luck louby. Hope you have something positive to report soon.
positively I don't think there are any hard and fast rules(ooer excuse the pun) about when to sleep with someone. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing it on a first date. I haven't, personally - though I did on date 2 once (we won't talk about him, though).

Jarlin I'm going to have to go back through the thread shortly - I missed the updates on you and slow, hope all ok.

Does anyone with kids struggle to envisage sharing the future with someone? I can't imagine living with someone, or a man deciding to take me and my children on as a family? It kind of makes me feel a bit defeated before I've started.

I've had a few dates with someone - so far he seems weirdly normal and uncomplicated - he is thoughtful, keen, amusing, affectionate in a hand holdy way, texts banter regularly through the day, and has never even veered towards smutty stuff. I'm not sure there is the phwoar factor though, but he so generally nice that I want to give things a go.

And re a man becoming absorbed into my family - no I can't really imagine it. Since I split up with the children's dad I have kept dating and family strictly separate - it's my opportunity to just be me, not a mum at the same time if that makes sense. I think I'd like a boyfriend rather than a live in partner.

Evening All. I'm really enjoying this thread, but I must admit, until now, I have not contributed to the discussion. I could really do with some advice though. I met a guy on pof - not quite my usual type looks wise, but the conversation was always great and we seemed to enjoy each other's company. Over a month or so we went on three dates and chatted regularly. On third date we both had perhaps a little too much to drink and I ended up at his house. Nothing more than a bit of a snog went on, and I left early next morning.But (I don't know whether this was the alcohol or not!) I kept comparing him to my ex (physical feeling kind of way iyswim) - which was obviously a totally different feeling! After this 'incident' I couldn't help but feel rather strange... So that evening ( still a tad hungover) texted him saying that we don't seem to be compatible and wished him luck with the search. To which he replied saying it's a shame etc. But. I seem to kind of miss interacting with him and getting to know him. I might have made a mistake that day by rebuffing him due to my own insecurities and not giving him a real chance. Do you think I should just leave it and get over it? Or should I get back in touch?

Date update! Perfectly lovely guy, he was a gent & paid for drinks, but no spark and I found him a bit dull.

Just got home neither of us have text each other so the feeling is mutual. Ahh well!

Dontcall I don't know if I can imagine it but it's what I'd like to find someone who wanted me and wanted to be part of my family unit too. Not as a replacement dad, my dcs are lucky to have a good one of those. But I think it's a long way off even if I think I've found that someone getting them to be part of my dcs lives on that scale is a whole other issue I guess.

Ah louby that's good and bad I guess. Nice to be out on a Friday night though

I have been reading these threads for a while now I have signed up to pof and okcupid and badoo in the past. But I "chickened" out and close my accounts down as I wasn't ready to "date" (I came out of a abusive relationship last year) so a few weeks ago I reopened okcupid and got chatting to two men.

One of them seems really busy but sounds genuine and seems to want the same as me. The other just wants to see where things go and have fun. Both have good jobs (why date1 is more busy for the next few days) I just don't know how it is going to plan out.

dontcallmehon I feel the same. I can't ever seeing me living with another man or one taking me and DC on. I would like I but somehow doubt it will happen.

Yes, don't call, I feel the same. I went into OLD thinking of it as an 'adventure', saying to myself and friends that this was totally seperate to the kids and my life with them. The problem is that when you date someone that you really like, you do start to imagine what the future could or might hold and that just realistically features your children (or at least I did). I'm uneasy about that because I too feel it would be so strange to merge the two areas. It's just a minefield...it makes me think things were so easy in the old days (not that I would ever wish away my children, they are the best thing ever - but I wish the dating thing was less complicated)!!

I don't think i'd want to live with another man tbh, happy to try dating, but they mostly get in the way, don't they?

Can we rephrase this 'taking me on' nonsense? We're families, mum and child(ren) and will enrich the lives of whoever we love. we take these men on as much as they take us. In fact, with our dc to think about, that guy's got to be pretty special to deserve us!

Ok?

Totally agree with Hissy!

Hissy I agree.

I don't think I'll ever live with another man. I'm enjoying a all female household and having no male clothes in the wash. Even dc2 puts her clothes in the basket and she is not even 2 yet.

Ha ha, I love that, Tiptoetiptoe. I live with two small males and they fart and make almost as much mess as their father used to....I don't mind cleaning up after them though...and they will be TRAINED to clear up, be considerate and be good future partners.

jarlin - thanks; I know what you mean by having nothing to lose... But how on earth do I word it: "hey, could we disregard what I said earlier, how are you?" ??

Knittedknickers if anyone farts or burps in our house it is filled with giggles off both dc. Dc2 loves burps and laughs if it is a big one and started doing pretend ones. But the farts are not as bad as their dad. Which if I do ever live with anyone else I just hope their fsrts or burps don't disgust us. We are actually worse now and just hope if I do settle down they can fit in with us. If not they not the one to be here.

My really busy wants to go on a date next sat. He's aware DC will be with a friend and will be a quick date as I've never actually left DC with anyone apart from nursery or school. He's aware how I feel. I feel flattered he still wants to see me. He sends a sweet text every day but about it as he's so busy with work.

I've never actually been on a date so what do I wear? I normally wear jeans and top or leggings and longer top. I'm so nervous and its a week away. He's looking for a relationship and always pays me compliments he's taking me for a meal on him.

Misscorpse did u text? I think just hi, what u been up to? Or maybe a little joke about how you might have boo booed or something?

Tiptoed jeans and nice top what I usually wear for first dates. With a heel or wedge as I'm only tiny

Jarlin glad u had a lovely evening. How u feeling about dinner tomorrow? Yes mr pof came round. Lightened my mood dcs and him get on well. I'm just mad about him. Not seeing for two days now. Lots planned with my family.

Folk how are things? Did u get together with your bf to talk?

Yes, I think eventually I'd like someone to share my life, but I can't see it. Guess I'll have to see how it goes.

I think...tentatively...I might be ready to get out there and meet someone now. God it's taken me a long time to recover from a broken heart.

Dontcall I'm glad you are feeling like you might be ready to try again. Who knows how things will turn out, which I find incredibly hard to deal with and has me over thinking and analysing on at least an hourly basis! But if we don't try I guess we never know. I was having one of my usual moments and I got this in part of a much longer text from my rl friend. It made me cry and I have screenshot it to remind myself when I'm being daft:

It's easier to push away than to make yourself vulnerable. What will be will be. All things happen for a reason and no amount of worrying will make you able to see what's around the corner so we've got to enjoy what's here as long as we're happy and we're being treated right

Thank goodness for friends like her and mnet

I'm happy enough being single, and it's so much easier to be single. No effort required, house can look a tip, dinner can be a bowl of coleslaw for example.

However, the 'easier' life is an emptier life. There's no-one to talk to about a bad day, a good day or even a so-so day.

It wasn't until DS had his accident that I realised how much easier it would have been if someone could have been there to give me a hug and tell me it'd be ok. Someone to tell me it's ok to think my family are a pack of loons transported in from planet SelfSelfSelf, that kind of thing.

But I still very much need my space with myself and with my ds. We'll see.

Date 1 with guy 2 on Monday. Country Pub. On quiz night. We're gonna go for it! :)