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Who's Desperate and Awful Now....Story of My Divorce from Mr WT...Part 2....

999 replies

MrsC1969HJ · 19/07/2014 20:44

Having reached a 1000 posts, I can hardly believe we are moving onto Thread 2...I have had the most amazing ongoing support from so many and I will always be eternally grateful. Link to Thread 1 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2030270-PLEASE-HELP-DESPERATE-AND-AWFUL-DIVORCE?

OP posts:
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14
acatcalledjohn · 16/06/2015 22:50

I don't know what to say, MrsC. You have had a shit time, and then some. Their behaviour towards your DS is beyond despicable. Even though they hate you, anyone with half a heart would not consider taking their hatred for someone out on a child - especially their own child. Your STBXH really is the biggest cunt going and does not deserve to be a dad.

I have nothing to offer you, other than sheer respect for how you have managed to keep your cool throughout most of this.

Flowers and, in the absence of [gin emoticon], Wine.

AcrossthePond55 · 19/06/2015 21:06

"H once told me that he didn't feel guilty because he "deserved" his freedom. The mind boggles. Inhumane doesn't even touch the sides does it? They truly are beyond description."

Oh, we know what he truly 'deserves', yes we do indeed. And he'll get it, someday.

You know, they say 'what goes around, comes around'. I was complaining once that it seems that we never actually see that comeuppance! A wise person told me that was because God knows we'd enjoy it too much and we should never rejoice in another's misfortune (even a well-deserved one), and He's preventing us from the 'sin of gloating'. Smile

WellWhoKnew · 19/06/2015 22:34

Yes, Across we can only live in hope. I suppose one way of accepting it is knowing that, whilst we might not see retribution in our own circumstances, we can most definitely see it in others.

I think (and without wishing to upset the Formidable One) if I look back at the last year of hell that has been my life, I can see I have managed to achieve some incredible things. Gaining a friend like MrsC is one of them.

I was thinking today (having chatted with her last night when I had a 'woe is me' princess moment) is that one of the highlights of what was a bloody dreadful twelve months for me, has got to be sitting opposite her twunt knowing he was lying to me, going back into court, and getting him to confirm his lie before the judge, and then watching the judge cotton on to it.

He now bleats on about how he's "lost everything".

MrC: Yep, you stupid twunt - you lied to a judge in a court of law. We all knew you were lying, but you thought you were the cleverest man in the room.

I knew differently.

Sorry about that - but if you're a liar and a cheat, and then someone as pissed off as me comes along, what the fuck do you expect?

That you could bully me? You didn't know me. You still don't. But, and this will really piss you off: when you're ready to climb down from your righteous indignation, the mother of your child is actually a bloody lovely parent. The best that 4 year old boy with autism could get.

You've had many judges, and me, and your STBXW and a thousand MNetters (some of whom are men) telling you things you don't like to read.

You still want to bully me into your way of thinking?

So Across So when I'm having a 'crap day', I can always think back to the day I helped a marvellous woman through a really tough moment in her life. She's been a formidable friend to me and I expect she always will be. I will always be grateful to her for the opportunity to get one over a bully - it has given me a huge amount of confidence to get back into the workplace, doing what I do, and doing it well.

It's rare you get to see someone's comeuppence, I agree. I'm very privileged in so many ways: but if there was ever a moment that helped me deal with my own shit is that just once, I got to ensure I overcame a bully thanks to MrsC inviting me into her divorce.

Pineapple anyone?

Anniegetyourgun · 19/06/2015 22:47

Mmm, pineapple.

AcrossthePond55 · 19/06/2015 22:57

WWK, you so rock! It's lovely to see the strong bond (I think of it as 'the strong bond of strength' Grin) the two of you have formed.

I have a friendship like yours, also formed (years ago) during a period of adversity. Those are bonds that can never be broken.

You were a few more miles down the road than MrsC was when you met, as my friend was. The strength I got from her was the strength of her knowledge and experience. The strength she got from me was the strength of my belief in her.

I do believe I'll take a slice of that pineapple.

Hobbitwife001 · 20/06/2015 00:37

That was such a heartfelt, moving post from one true friend to another.
I've put my pineapple in here.... Cheers lovely ladies...

Who's Desperate and Awful Now....Story of My Divorce from Mr WT...Part 2....
bobs123 · 20/06/2015 00:48

Hear hear Smile

TheFormidableMrsC · 20/06/2015 10:02

WWK...that has moved me to tears....you are the bestest Smile. Couldn't have got through this endless ongoing shit without you, I really couldn't. This is the thing about lying in Court isn't it? The consent order will have to go back stating that H is "solvent" yet he quite clearly stated he wasn't! That actually IS contempt...!

You did not have a princess moment at all...huge changes, almost overnight...but the right ones for you, I am sure of that. I am beginning to think we should start a Scottish commune for all us MN'ers....we'd definitely make a much better job of life wouldn't we? KOKO Flowers

AcrossthePond55 · 20/06/2015 15:16

And there's nothing wrong with 'princess moments'. God knows, you both deserve them. I live my life in a state of semi-princesshood. After all, if I don't treat myself as royalty, who will?

pointythings · 20/06/2015 15:33

Everyone is entitled to indulge in some 'woe is me' moments. Princessy or otherwise. (mine aren't, I stomp, mutter and sulk Smile)

The problem arises when you're like that all the time and you believe that it's real, that the whole world is against you and that you're owed whatever the hell is it. Yep, looking at you, Mr WT.

AgathaChristie01 · 20/06/2015 16:03

OP, I'm a newcomer to your thread, you are amazing!
WWK fantastic post. Take a bow, both of you.

All the best.

AcrossthePond55 · 20/06/2015 17:51

The problem arises when you're like that all the time and you believe that it's real, that the whole world is against you and that you're owed whatever the hell is it. Yep, looking at you, Mr WT.

Then maybe we should call him 'Princess WT'. Oh NO NO NO!! What have I done! I'm going to find myself brought up on 'charges', I'll be found 'in contempt', I'll go to prison for 'libel' and 'harassment'.

Oh wait….I'm in the US.

TheFormidableMrsC · 20/06/2015 23:09

OMG, I have just written a MASSIVE post that has disappeared before my very eyes....I will try again tomorrow...I can't be doing with that now, only just got DS into bed, normal post contact day hell....and I need a glass of wine even though I have had to wait til 11 pm to do so :-(

AgathaChristie01 · 20/06/2015 23:20

Wine for you.

TheFormidableMrsC · 20/06/2015 23:27

Across, your post made me LOL...ha ha! xxxx

TheFormidableMrsC · 20/06/2015 23:31

Thanks Agatha...very much appreciated Smile Flowers

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/06/2015 09:41

For all the single parents out there doing the job of both Mum & Dad every single day....Flowers

Who's Desperate and Awful Now....Story of My Divorce from Mr WT...Part 2....
Hobbitwife001 · 21/06/2015 09:51

Hear hear, Mrsc Flowers for you my love, x

acatcalledjohn · 21/06/2015 10:00

And doing a bloody good job of it.

Flowers to all of you.

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/06/2015 10:24

Thanks acat....Smile

I am absolutely sure many of you have wonderful husbands and fathers so I wish you all a really lovely day with your families!

We have a lovely day planned, a party to go to, our favourite meal this evening, a drop of Sunday wine and just being OUR little family. We are very lucky and I am a very spoiled Mum today Smile.

FuckitAndStartAgain · 21/06/2015 10:29

Being mum and dad is sometimes a grind. But I reckon we might if very lucky end up with twice the love.

Peaceful day all.

bobs123 · 21/06/2015 12:06

Flowers MrsC have a lovely day

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/06/2015 21:31

Evening all, planned to do an update this evening but feeling a bit drained, we've had a lovely day actually...I can't complain at all, however, tonight DS asked, when I tucked him to bed, "why does my Daddy not live with us"...it was out of the blue and I wasn't expecting it so I just said "he didn't want to live here anymore baba"....I didn't know what else to say. He took that on board and didn't say anything else. I imagine this has arisen from being at party today where there were lots of Dad's and kids together and he stood out a little bit (although he also had a classmate there whose Dad is equally shit so that little boy was just with his Mum too). I immediately distracted by launching into a long Thomas the Tank story book and tickling his back. He's now asleep, knackered after a very long and busy day. I do hope Mr WT has had a lovely day with his umpteenth stepchild big red flag right there MrsC but to think that he has only ever spent two Father's Days with his own flesh and blood but very many more with children who aren't his as far as I know. It does really upset me.

I spoke to my Dad this morning obviously, I don't tell him much these days as he is now 76 and has early stage dementia, so I don't worry him with things. However, he said "how ARE you" in THAT way as Dad's do. I ended up telling him about the arrest and all the other recent shit. He was SO angry. He took Mr WT on, tried to help him with his childhood issues, taught him to shoot, gave him money, was a real Dad to him in so many ways so he was furiously angry that the kids and I have been put through that. Suggested he wanted to go and see him, I said there was no point he'd never get through bodyguard OW anyway, Mr WT hid upstairs when brother went to see him after he insulted our dead mother. The man is a coward and my Dad doesn't need that sort of stress at his age.

What a horrible, cowardly man my son has the misfortune of sharing DNA with.

Anyway, I hope you've ALL had a lovely day Flowers

Bogeyface · 21/06/2015 22:02

When you mentioned OW being the bodyguard I had a mental image.....do you remember Olive Oyl, Popeyes girlfriend?

Her friend Alice is what popped into my head :o

Who's Desperate and Awful Now....Story of My Divorce from Mr WT...Part 2....
pointythings · 21/06/2015 22:13

MrsC you are under no obligation to update, you know. We are here for your support, you aren't our source of entertainment unless you want to be and you are including pineapple-related hilariousness.

Glad you had a good day, your dad sounds like a treasure. My Dad has late stage dementia, take what time you can with yours because you will never get it back again. Sad