Who's Desperate and Awful Now....Story of My Divorce from Mr WT...Part 2....

[MrsC1969HJ]

Having reached a 1000 posts, I can hardly believe we are moving onto Thread 2...I have had the most amazing ongoing support from so many and I will always be eternally grateful. Link to Thread 1 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2030270-PLEASE-HELP-DESPERATE-AND-AWFUL-DIVORCE?

[Clutterbugsmum]

Hope you are OK MrsC.

[pointythings]

Just hang in there... It is inevitable that shit will happen, he isn't Mr WT for nothing. Deep breath, stay strong, this too shall pass.

[GoulashSoup]

Hi love, I'm unlurking again to send you strength. You are doing so well, hang in there x

[AcrossthePond55]

Take care of yourself and DS. Try to relax and regroup yourself. You will be OK. He's a prick.

[inlectorecumbit]

Oh MrsC why are you even attempting to have a conversation with him. He is irrational, a sandwich short of a picnic, screw loose etc and you are never ever going to be able to have a meaningful conversation with him.
Save your breath, don't waste it on him.
you can do this..you know you can--ignore his fuckwittery.

Think you need this [icecream emotion]

[LBZT]

Have to admit I'm a bit as to why you are even engaging with MrFW.

[MrsC1969HJ]

Message deleted by MNHQ at the poster's request to protect the anonymity of her children.

[towicymru]

You have brought up a strong & brave young lady. Be proud & do her proud x (lurker coming out with Pom poms!)

[smilingeyes79]

Dry your eyes and just think how well she will kick ass when she is older if she is like this so young :-)
I know some of that must have been tough reading but your daughter needed to get that out ... And she did it so well. I couldnt articulate that well now and I am 35.

Big hugs to you and daughter xx

[MrsC1969HJ]

I am just gutted, I never saw things that way, I didn't realise she was that angry and unhappy and I have DEFENDED him, totally...I am a shit Mum and she is an amazing and brave kid and I wish wish wish she had confided in me earlier. I hope this will be enough to concentrate his mind with his son...she is 15 years old, struggled with anorexia...I thought I had a handle on things...couldn't have been more wrong. How I wish I could turn back the clock. How glad am I now..we are well rid...that's it. I hate him.

[inlectorecumbit]

Dry the tears MrsC your daughter rocks. You have raised an outstanding articulate young lady. She sees through him and OW. I would love to be a fly on his wall tonight.
You have not let your DD down at all but it would seem that the OW has done you a big favour "stealing" him away from you.

She obviously adores her wee brother and will be his protector in the next few years

[AcrossthePond55]

You GO, little MissC! MrsC, I know you are heartbroken over what you perceive as your 'failures', but there couldn't have been many of them for you to have raised a bright, articulate young woman like MissC! Although I was in tears reading it, I had to chuckle at 'Yes she was annoying at times'. What a 'teenage' thing to say, bless her. We all annoy our children at one time or the other. She has Mr WT pegged to a 'T'. AND is able to see him through pretty adult eyes, no bullshit, no histrionics. The girl is going to be all right. Don't you worry about her!

Our children always hide things from us, especially if they feel we are vulnerable. They want to take care of us just as much as we want to take care of them. After all, isn't that what love really is?

Once again, let the past bury the past. Don't tear yourself to pieces over what you 'think' you've done wrong. MissC is healthy, lovely, and smart. She is aware of her issues and apparently is dealing with them well. What more can you ask for? Just lean on each other, love each other, and respect each other like you've always done. Let her 'be there' for you and DS as much as you feel is wise, because she does still have to feel like a teenager at times.

I think I can speak for all of us when I say you give MissC a great big hug from the MrsC Fan Club.

[GrannyOnTheSchoolRun]

There is still one mention of your wee boys name in there, and to be honest I think this whole thing has gone too far now.

There is a lot to be said for 'keeping your own counsel'. It doesn't mean you have to bottle everything up inside you, but setting up stage and playing to an audience isn't the way to do things either and thats what this thread now feels like, you setting up stage and playing to an audience. Its been going this way for a wee while now and perhaps on a night when you're having a drink you should stay away from the computer.

I truly hope things work out for all of you and that your soon on your way to much happier days.

[handfulofcottonbuds]

MrsC - I'm glad to read how far you have come and I really hope this ends for you soon so you and your DCs can move forward.

I have to agree that there is a lot of personal information in your posts, including your DS's name (you might want MNHQ to edit that).

You know that I wish you strength but please remember that this is a public forum and it is wise to be careful exactly how much detail goes into your posts. I mean that in the kindest way.

[MrsC1969HJ]

GrannyOnTheSchoolRun..I totally hear you. The post has been deleted, I shouldn't have posted it, this my place to vent and rant and that is what I did...can you imagine how it feels to know that the husband you loved so much had caused so much pain to your child? I can, however, assure you that there is no "stage" or indeed "playing to an audience", this is my life. I am actually living this day in and day out. I don't embellish, EVER, or dramatise in any way whatsoever, everything i have posted is fact and can be backed up in RL. You are probably right that I should step away from the computer after wine, I should have done last night and I appreciate what you are saying in that regard. This week my husband has reported me to the Safeguarding team at CS due to my mental health issues (!!!!), he has also been taking my son to see his OW, indeed, she spent all of Wednesday afternoon in Sainsbury's with my son (who was desperately upset about it) rather than his father using his two hours of contact to actually spend time with his own child. I have also been subjected to endless emails about his "rights", I have had to deal with my lovely neighbours' electrical work, done by my husband, being condemned and them facing the prospect of hundreds of pounds to rectify, their home insurance being rendered invalid due to this...he has cut my maintenance money to the bare minimum and is doing whatever he can to make my life an utter misery. I won't apologise for venting the pain I feel, but I do take in your points and indeed, there were a couple of things in that post that should have been taken out.

I will say, my daughter is much much happier today, clearly needed to do that, we have had a lot of cuddles, tears and talking. I had NO IDEA, none at all. She doesn't blame me, she just wanted a quiet life. I feel awful, beyond awful about the whole thing. Further, my little boy, this "man" is his father. So, I will be taking advice this week on how to proceed.

Handful, the truth is, I was totally pissed and in a very bad place last night, I should have waited until this morning when I might have talked about DD's email but not posted entire contents. I hope you're OK my darling, been a long time.

Thank you all for being here for me, you are my lifeline! Things are usually good, just not now x

[MrsC1969HJ]

Across, I so love your post, made me feel a whole lot better, I have a fabulous daughter..and you knew exactly where I was coming from with this. Thank you xxxxx

Smilingeyes79..you too..thank you, she is a lovely bright young lady and although I feel I have failed her totally, I know that she will be OK...I will make sure of it x

Inlectorecumbit...God you're not kidding..did me a HUGE favour...I sincerely hope that email concentrated his mind. There has been no response, what can he say? She is a child, he made her feel like that. She's amazing, I am very lucky! Thank you :-) XXX

[MrsC1969HJ]

towicymru Am so sorry, I almost forgot you, thank you for support, as you well know, I love a lurker...and pom poms! She is indeed amazing and actually I shouldn't have to be in the position of taking my 15 year old daughter to our GP because she is suffering from anxiety because of her step-father. I wish I had known and I wish she had told me sooner. I will always feel a complete failure because of this but today she has been so so much brighter, a huge weight lifted I think. I have had a long chat with my MIL...who was equally as upset and said "we never want to see him again"...speaks volumes doesn't it? I am stronger tonight and will find a way forward...xx

[LBZT]

Well mrs c I have had wine but here goes... your daughter needed to speak she used a medium that she felt comfortable with.... good on her. You now know the truth and in a way it releases you from any residue feelings you had for him. You now know that him being part of your life is not an option 100%.

As for your son, go girl......... protect him so what about "his rights", you know what your sons rights are, he needs his mum to protect him until he is old enough to process who is father is. Never again listen to that man spouting "his rights", don't even give it thought space.

As for MRFW latest stunts no I am not surprised I knew after the latest back step he would turn on you again. My only surprise is it is so soon, but you know how the land lies so again I say this protect your son.

[myroomisatip]

Ahhh I wish I had a magic wand to make everything alright for you. But I do know this, your daughter is amazing. And I fully appreciate how you feel because my own DD was treated badly by her own DF. I feel I failed to protect her but I was in an abusive relationship and, well, it goes without saying really.

But she has come out of it very strong, I would rather she was strong due to a good upbringing but sadly not, however we are close and she can spot abusive behaviour a mile away.

As for your son, he has you and his sister and he is growing up. This situation, although very hard, is not set in stone. Do all you can to protect your son for now. You never know what the future holds but I am sure it is time for some improvements.

[GrannyOnTheSchoolRun]

Just to acknowledge your reply MrsC :)

[DocMcStuffinsBigBookOfOuches]

Hope everything is ok MrsC - i was vaguely wondering how you are and then I noticed today that's it's been a full week since you last updated.

[WellWhoKnew]

Yes, also wondering about you. Hope that all is okay in your world.

KOKO, love.

[AcrossthePond55]

Count me in. Hope all is well and hoping perhaps you're just taking a holiday or a MN break.

Take care of yourself and your lovely DCs.

[Clutterbugsmum]

Thinking about you, hope you and your dc are ok.

[3littlefrogs]

De-lurking to say I hope you are ok MrsC, I really do hope you haven't been put off posting. There are lots of people here who care and want to offer you support and encouragement.