Who's Desperate and Awful Now....Story of My Divorce from Mr WT...Part 2....

[MrsC1969HJ]

Having reached a 1000 posts, I can hardly believe we are moving onto Thread 2...I have had the most amazing ongoing support from so many and I will always be eternally grateful. Link to Thread 1 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2030270-PLEASE-HELP-DESPERATE-AND-AWFUL-DIVORCE?

two things, He is really thick by asking/telling the judge about leaving her house and living else where, and she must have something to hide either more money/saving then she admitted to him and doesn't want him to know her full financial position, or she lying about what she has 'to keep him'.

Or maybe she doesn't want her name in any legal paperwork because she doesn't want her son to know the truth about their relationship when, where it started.

Clutterbugsmum, it was an unbelievably stupid thing to say, it really was. I don't think either of them have the capacity for truthfulness and I also believe that I have been thrown a lot of "red herrings" recently. The thing is, every so often very pertinent information lands in my lap. I do believe that these two have been in a "relationship" for a very very long time but as always happens, the truth outs eventually. Clearly, she wishes to be exonerated from any blame or responsibility but the fact is, the Judge merely wanted to know what her contribution to her own household was. Had she just answered that rather than write letters to the court that were personal character assassinations of me, she wouldn't be in the position she is in now. As neither of them have ever had their stories straight, I am wondering how this is going to go and what line of questioning the court will take.

Let's face it, claiming you have taken over payment of all utilities, Sky, council tax, business rates, food bills of somebody you "met" a "few days earlier" having not seen eachother for "eight years" doesn't really add up does it? They planned this for a very long time, planned every last detail of what they have inflicted on the children and I, but made an utterly shit job of it. We reap what we sow...don't we?

Jeez, MrsC - what a pair! Can;t get their stories straight? their stories are like those spirograph drawings... It does make me wonder what exactly they are hiding. (other than parentage of boy, where the money goes, her reputation, his mental health..)

WWK - actually, I think I might be next on the Absolute! Unless you mean the Decree Absolute (in which case - about time!) and not the Vodka Absolute (which is all mine)

When are you back in court, MsrsC?

She was probably going to leave her husband, but then he died, setting them back a few months. Horrible, horrible people.

MrsC, delurking after months to say they have now well & truly dug themselves into their own grave where they belong. I agree with Primal pp,
I'm sure the judge sees this very poorly. All good for you.
You have been so strong, for so long with the onslaught of venom from them both. the cheating, lying, manipulating, wave after wave of hurt & trickery.
You are a veritable Boadecia.

Ptumbi...God it's awful isn't it? I am feeling a bit miserable today thinking about it all and what's going to come out next...they are clearly hiding something and as I said I have had some information that puts a different spin on the "grieving widow" shit....I too was thinking WWK was talking about the vodka not the divorce. I think we both need both at the moment...tick tock. I don't yet know when I am back in court, awaiting the order that was drafted by the Judge..normally takes a couple of weeks and then possibly 2-3 months until the next hearing. Hard to tell.

PrimalLass...indeed...put it this way, I think that is exactly what happened. Vile.

mix56, thank you for your lovely message and for "de-lurking", I always appreciate that . I don't feel very strong at the moment, I just feel winded really. 16 months is not a long time for recovery I guess and also not actually being "allowed" to do so in peace with this all this going on doesn't help. The Judge appeared very very irritated with OW, so will see what happens when we have the next hearing. All I can say is that every bloody thing they have done has backfired on them. Karma is at work I would say...I just hope in time that Mr WT finds somebody decent one day, believe me, I will welcome her with open arms after this...!

Thanks everybody, so much, for ongoing support

Absolut = vodka
Absolute = freedom!!!

Right now I'll bet it's a toss up (as opposed to a 'tosser' which is what he is) as to which one you want more!!!

I really think it's admirable of you to be able to say you hope he finds someone decent. I understand your thinking though, if he were to be with a decent woman, things would be going much more smoothly and you'd be much further on. It also speaks to how 'over him' you are and how much you are looking forwards, rather than back.

You and WWK have each been dealing with this shit for what seems to be aeons! But, in the long run, when you consider the years of happiness that are ahead of you both, this will (eventually) just be a 'blip' on your life's radar. You may never be able to look back and actually laugh at this period, but you WILL be able to look back and at least smile and shake your lovely heads.

Ha ha, love that Across..!

Do you know, it's a funny thing, I am sort of over him I guess..but I am so nowhere near over what he's done...I still can't get my head round it, I just can't. I certainly don't find him attractive anymore, he looks so appalling, I wouldn't look at him twice. I was talking to a lovely lady in the court waiting room and he walked in, she clocked me clocking him and said "oh my God is that him?", I nodded and she just looked at me, back at him, back at me and said "what on earth did you see in him, he was punching well above his weight"...which was very nice of her to say but quite shocking to me because in my eyes, he was so very handsome...before.

I can't believe it's nearly a year since I started my first thread and how much support I have had and how many of you have stuck around and have become friends, some in RL too. Indeed, it does seem like aeons, but for poor WWK, it's been a reasonably short hell and I don't know how she has coped with it. I couldn't even breathe at the point she is at now, yet she's had court and a divorce petition to deal with in that time. I know that one day it will seem like a distant memory but the damage it has done to me, I am not sure I will ever recover from. On a happier note though, at least he's not pulling of his toenails and leaving them in my face cream...(I wish I was joking)...!

I think you're being a little unrealistic in your expectations here, MrsC - you're coping with a double helping of shit: his absolute betrayal of the relationship you thought you had and then everything he has done to make your life hell since. People like you and WWK need to realise that rebuilding your lives and your self esteem takes more time. Even a straightforward and relatively amicable divorce (like my auntie's many years ago) leaves scars and yours are anything but.

The fact that you can wish him well at this early stage in your recovery says a hell of a lot about what a strong and decent woman you are. You're allowed to doubt your own strength though, the rest of us here will just remind you.

You will recover, I promise. You may not ever be exactly the same, but you will recover. It's as we say to explain change, 'the new normal'.

My cousin was blindsided and her self esteem was destroyed by her husband's cheating. She's changed in that she isn't as naive and blindly-trusting as she once was (and no wonder). She says she likes the new, stronger, more skeptical her just as much (if not better) than the old, trusting, but easily hurt or bewildered her. She regrets the loss of her innocence, but celebrates her maturity.

I adore you MrsC, and I'll forgive you for calling me 'poor WWK' (albeit accurate) because you were a vital part of a huge team of people who got me to get through to now.

You are an amazing woman. If ever a man 'got lucky and fucked it up' it was Mr WT.

KOKO.

I'm removing the "poor" my lovely friend, meant in an empathetic way, when actually you're skint and it's probably best applied in that manner:-). Adore you back, especially for listening to me bang on and on and on last night....he/they did indeed fuck up...wankers. We'll live. Won't we? xx

We'll live...fresh air and rainwater can be good for the soul, you know.

Made my mind up, will see sol Weds, the computer apparently says 'no'. Roll on March.

Toenails in your face cream???????

That has to be put before a judge, and on the public record. Is it too late?

Flimflammer, I know it's disgusting. He thought things like that were hilarious. That sort of behaviour won't count with financial matters but will if we ever end up in court over DS.

This morning, I have received the most astonishing letter from him...I am so utterly speechless that I need some time to take it in. Needless to say, he has retracted the desperate offer of settlement he made in court in order to keep OW out of it and still bases all of his financial ramblings on the fact that I might inherit from my Dad one day.....the man is a joke.

the mind boggles

Well, you can file that letter under 'rope to hang him with'. Bet the judge will be most interested to see it.

The toenails thing makes me want to throw up. If my DH ever did anything like that, he'd find his bags packed and piled outside the door - but he wouldn't contemplate it because he's a good and decent human being like us.

I'd be sure the judge saw a copy of that letter! I'm sure he'll be impressed with that (NOT)! Like I said before, tell him you'll take the lot because he might win the lottery some day so he doesn't need it!

Toenails. That just disgusts me. I've never been one for 'practical jokes' anyway, I've always thought they were mean-spirited. But that is beyond any 'joke' & is really cruel & demeaning.

Oh fear not, he has also copied the letter to the court. It is actually a reduction of the offer he made the other day in court when he was desperately trying to keep OW out of it. I am not sure how that will work....! The mind does indeed boggle....

He has copied the letter to the court?

And he really believes that telling the court he should pay you less because you might inherit from your Dad is going to affect their decision?

This is like something out of Eastenders not that I've ever watched it DUFF-duff-de-duf-duf-dufaduf -da-de-da-de-da - de-daaaa.

I remember how off your head you were at the beginning of your threads, Mrs, and look at you now!

See, all the headfuckery has bounced back to him. That's how it goes. Good to see it in operation

Well done awesome woman for koko

Oh Good Lord! His idiot quotient has just trebled! If I could invest in his stupidity I'd make a million because it just keeps on growing!!!

SPRINGY..I was just thinking about you today!!! I hope you're well and things are OK...lovely for you to comment, thank you . I am a whole lot better...not always...but mostly...you know how it is...!

I have just had the Police on the doorstep...this is as a result of his continual complaints about my "harrassment" (ie : chasing his disclosure and challenging his behaviour). Let's put it this way, it's not me they are concerned about....referrals to outside agencies have been made. I am grateful that my mother isn't around to see all of this. I am horrified by it all...

You're allowed to be horrified, but eventually you will just shrug and say to yourself 'here he goes again' and it won't touch you.

It's good that the police know exactly where they stand with you though, and his constant complaints against you will also end up counting against him.

I'm glad you're still on terms with his parents though, that could have been very different.

Pointy, goodness I hope so. This is an emotional abuse issue I believe. I am still on very good terms with my inlaws but they are in touch with him again...I am hoping this will be a positive thing....