Who's Desperate and Awful Now....Story of My Divorce from Mr WT...Part 2....

[MrsC1969HJ]

Having reached a 1000 posts, I can hardly believe we are moving onto Thread 2...I have had the most amazing ongoing support from so many and I will always be eternally grateful. Link to Thread 1 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2030270-PLEASE-HELP-DESPERATE-AND-AWFUL-DIVORCE?

Yes, calm and considered. Calm and deliberate. Just a simple 'offer rejected' with a possible 'counter offer' (one that is very generous to yourself, of course!). And I think it's disgusting for him to expect you to 'wait on dead man's shoes' so he can shirk his responsibilities! Gross!

Another brick in the wall of his eventual destruction.

Indeed Across. I can't make a counter offer yet as his disclosure is incomplete and OW is also in contempt of two orders. Awaiting Court intervention with that. He keeps putting this about my Dad! He is 75 and in excellent health although he does have early stage dementia. Physically though, he could match a man half his age. He could well live for another 20 years. Just shocking, it really is. It clearly galls him that he has been disinherited (his stepfather has directed Mr WT's inheritance towards my kids) but that is his own bloody fault for being an arshole and treating us like dirt. WHEN is he going to wake up? Will it ever happen? Awful :-(

I agree it's just awful when people bank on inheritance (or expect others to). My mum is 92. She was driving until she was almost 90 and living independently. Then the dementia came on. She's as healthy as a horse otherwise and could easily live to 100. She is in an assisted living now and we figure she has enough money to last her about 10 years, God willing and the stock market holds!! She and my late father scrimped and saved for comfort and security in their old age, not so my brother and I could inherit their hard earned money!

I think it was lovely for your children's step-grandfather to do that for them. It's just too damn bad Mr WT can't recognize kindness and generosity!

Absoloutly bonkers! You "might" inherit or the children might or the local dog home might! Also your father has remarried? Then his new wife "might" inherit also.
(you might win the lottery one day also! - heres hoping)

Crikey he sounds delusional!

Long life and good health to your father :D

Oops, sorry delurking here, I just felt I had to post, what a plonker!

goes back to lurking

Just keep giving him the rope, MrsC. You're not going to fall for it, he's just dug himself a bit deeper - it's all good. Let yourself be angry for a while, but don't waste a lot of emotion on the tosser.

Ooh Ooh, there's your settlement offer (when you get to make your counter offer)!!! You keep everything AND you buy Mr WT a lottery ticket a week!!! After all, he might win!!!! He apparently think it's OK to for one to gamble on one's financial future, after all.

Across what a fabulous suggestion! Who could possibly refuse?

"he's running scared, scrabbling for anything to hold onto"

I've come up with a practical solution to deal with him....

Can you plant some 'triffids' in their garden so that he's not only scared but he rushes to them for a cuddle?

(We've been plotting murderous antics over on my thread, so thought I'd spread the Seasonal Greetings as it were!).

^^^^

Love all the suggestions...triffids, lottery tickets, utterly brilliant and made me smile...all in good time ladies!

So, just needed to post to say that I have a complicated and somewhat unexpected legal situation that will remain off-thread for now. Am very happy to share via PM or FB inbox for those of you who know me on there. However, due to the nature of this, I can't post on the thread for now as I have no idea where this is going to lead

Just found your thread MrsC , just wanted to share in everyone's admiration of you, you are amazingly resilient in the face of some truly appalling behaviour, but seeing the OW close up must have given you a few giggles and boosted your self esteem a little. I could do with mine boosting a little at the moment. My twunt and the OW live about 300 yards away from me and the boys, but unfortunately she is younger, slimmer, fitter and blonder than me.:( sad times.

KOKO MrsC.

WWK.

Thinking of you & sending you strength and wishes.

Hobbitwife my STBXH's first affair ( I know, I know, ever seen a stripey leopard?), was with a woman who, he told me, was prettier than me. "I'm not going to lie to you, to make you feel better." he thoughtfully told me.

The last woman he had an affair with was not as pretty as me, blah, blah, blah.

Both scenarios are excruciatingly painful, just in very slightly different ways.
It's not actually about you, or about her, it's about him. The bastard.

Hang in there, MrsC - we'll just leap up and down and wave pom poms. You've done everything right, let the law have its way.

Delurking.

How amazing you are!

KOKO.

Bloody hell Mrs C, surely it can't be getting even more difficult.

Thinking of you Mrs C. Wishing you and yours a wonderful time, today and tomorrow! Merry Christmas!

Hi my lovely MN ladies! A bit late in the day for an update as we speak it is actually Christmas Day. Hobbit...my God ,my darling, I KNOW exactly how you feel. This week I have discovered that Mr WT has NEVER been faithful for a moment of our marriage and is clearly a totally fucked up narcissist and/or sociopath who can't be helped, it was never about me. Apparently recently had an affair while with OW. LOL. Serves her right.

Anyway, the point of my post was to say that while I can't yet post up fully on legal situation, there is a lot going on. In the meantime, my DS has finally received a statement for his autism, he has Aspergers. A relief and now I know I can help him. I will report on that fiasco in the New Year...ie : Mr WT's denial of the situation and how he has reduced DS's said autism to being an "issue with his shoes and socks". You can't help stupid.

Anyway, most of all, I wanted to thank each and every one of you for being here for me. I can't even begin to describe how much it means, the support I have had and those who have become friends outside of the parameters of Mumsnet...via Facebook, via private message, on the phone and even the fabulous WWK whose company I have had the pleasure of in my home. I don't know where i would be without all of you. This time last year I was actually vibrating with pain, totally lost in a world of grief, functioning only for the children. I posted here first in around February I think, filled up one thread pretty fast, started this one and here I am. So much happier now. I still love my husband...well I love the husband I thought I had married. I look at him how, how hideous he looks, and think that maybe I am on a better path than he is. He has emailed family to say he is desperately lonely and longs for death...could be drama and sympathy seeking, I will never know. However, I do know that the pain he has inflicted on me and indeed the children, recedes a little bit every day. I have also realised the problem is his, this was never about me as a person.

So, happy happy Christmas to you all...and look forward to continuing on in a positive way in 2015....xxxx

Merry Christmas Mrs C. Hope you and your children have a great day.

Thank you hedwig2001, you too :-)

Oops, posted above in my name change name, idiot! So the post above was from me...!

Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!! xx

MrsC good news on your DS statement, it will open doors to a lot of help for your family. It's about time you had a positive break and you've worked so hard to get this far.

In a way all this stuff should put the 'was it anything I did' questions decent people like you can't help asking to rest at last - I hope that is true for you.

And rest assured that I will continue to be one of your cheer squad on here and on FB for as long as you want me to. Here's hoping your Christmas was a happy and peaceful one, and that your New Year will be bright.

Hope you have had a lovely time with your family and DC's today.

Hi everybody! I just wanted to check in and say I have not disappeared and have to do a monumental update but am buried in paperwork for upcoming court hearing on Tuesday. I hope everybody had a marvellous Christmas and New Year! Don't go away, I will be back with more tales of continued fuckwittery...15 months and counting...yawn....x