Do men despise women.

[Loomineer]

On another thread read comments about women not realising how much men despise them. It got me thinking how in my relationships I've looked back and thought god. They really despised me.

My best friend is in a relationship where to me her dp treats her like he despises her.

I am not a man hater by any means. I just wondered what other people thought.

Not all men hate women at all.

Abusive men however, hate women. All of them.

No all men don't hate women.

There are some who do but far from all.

It is possible to detect real contempt in some relationships but it doesn't mean either person would be like that with the right partner.

I don't believe this . Some men do, I am sure. Same as some women hate all men ( i have a few female friends, lesbian and straight, who fear/dislike all men).

I know some little girls who are raised to fear all men, and be wary of anything masculine like big beards or deep voices.

Some men clearly dislike and despise women. I would say any man whistling at girls, beeping their horn or shouting "nice tits" actually despise women.

Yet, most men are not like this at all.

I think 'despise' is a more precise word than 'hate' here. Despising someone involves a deep level of contempt.... and that's exactly the emotion required to decide that an entire gender are only there to humoured and tolerated provided they are serving a purpose.

brave, fear and hate are two entirely different things. In relationships, oftentimes people confuse the fear they feel of their partner and the relief of gaining his approval with love.

"So you have guys in the workplace who will be nice and chummy UNTIL they have a woman who is actually going to practically overtake them, move into professional/intellectual space they see as "theirs". "

I don't think that's exclusive to men. Women can stop being chummy once they feel professionally/intellectually threatened as well. Men could also feel like that if it's another man challenging them.

I'm a man who has always worked in very male orientated environments I can honestly say most men are bastards. If you could her half of what is said by so called loving husbands you would be completely shocked. But then i have no idea what what women talk about when they get together so they may be just as bad for all I know?

I'd agree with this. I also believe that this is why maternity services are pretty hit and miss. If men gave birth it would be a whole different story.

Have you considered that maybe some of the situations which you think are 'proof' of men hating women actually have nothing to do with you being a woman. Perhaps you're not as nice/clever/good at your job as you think. I think some women use the 'it's because I'm a woman' excuse without looking at the big picture.

That want addressed to anyone in particular btw.

"I think some women use the 'it's because I'm a woman' excuse without looking at the big picture."

I would actually argue the converse. I think we desperately want to believe that we have equality and respect. On paper in the UK at least, equality is enshrined in law, we are no longer 'chattels' and we like to think we have a liberal and emancipated society. We can go about our business most of the time without impediment. So when we find obstacles in our way -whether it's in the workplace or at home or in any other sphere - the last thing on our minds is 'it's because I'm a woman'.

I think that there is a large proportion of men who despise women as well. I wish I didn't.

A similar story to olderguy - I used to have a friend who was a marketer of a fertility product, and so dealt with obstetricians/gynaecologists. She shocked me with stories of how disparaging these men could be of their female patients. I couldn't get over how these men were supposed to be advocating for the best medical treatment for females on the one hand, and then saying the grossest things about them to other men.....

I think we are all a product of our environment. If you grow up in a house where mom hates dad, dad hates mom. Dad fucked off. Moms an abusive bitch. Dads an abusive bastard. That defines who we are and perpetuates the issue.

I think woman are more powerful and could choose to bring up men who are not like this but fail as they can't get over their own in disappointed in the males in their lives . And their innate hatred for men rubs off on their children and visa versa.

My mother told me to watch how a man treats his mother and sisters before marrying him as that is how he will treat you. I think she was right.

I think as many woman despise men as men despise woman.

I think in the workplace it is, in my experience, more likely that a woman will fuck you over than a man.

I think we are lucky in this country as we get to choose the men we spend our lives with. Just because some people make bad choices and choose to get involved with men who are fuckwits does not make all men fuckwits. And because some woman are manipulative bitches does not mean all woman are bitches.

Lucky we get to choose men. That rubs me up the wrong way. Not sure why. Maybe because it sounds like we have something we shouldn't have. It's not luck. It's how things should be. Does that make sense?

Yes. But you're just picking holes for the sake of argument though. I bet you young girls who are being married off to 60 year old men think we're pretty lucky.

Male "kinda perspective" here (in that I'm a man, but don't claim to speak for all men)...
I think to say that men as a class despise women as a class is a huge generalisation. I can honestly say amongst my male friends, family and colleagues, there's only a couple I could say come remotely close to "despising" women (and despise is probably the wrong word - the men I'm thinking of - whom I would class as colleagues rather than friends - display borderline chauvinist behaviours). That said, there are stereotyping behaviours to varying degrees from almost everyone I know, be it about gender roles, race, nationality, football support... you name it, we all have little prejudices that we hide, suppress, or allow to dictate our behaviour to varying degrees.
Also, to pick up a point suggested up thread re: media messages that a "nice guys reward is the love of a good woman"(paraphrasing here). I'm not sure I agree at all - I'd class myself as a decent bloke, gentleman, nice guy (whatever you want to call it - a female colleage in a previous job even told me once, in a crowded open office, that I'd "make someone a nice wife..."), and I've never felt media support for me "getting the girl"! One only has to look at the vast majority of "relationships" in the soap world (which I try to avoid), the nice guy never ends up with the girl... It's always the bad-boy, the despicable piece of shit, while the "better" man is portrayed (deliberately, I feel), as something less: a wimp, a sap, a loser etc.

I don't think this discussion is confined to as narrow a definition as abuse. Clearly men who abuse women despise them... goes without saying. It's the unspoken undercurrent of contempt for women from ordinary, non-abusive men that is at issue. The type of thing the PP mentioned about what supposedly loving men say in private. They wondered what women say about men behind their backs.... well look no further than MN because it's pretty typical content :)

on the contrary, i have nothing but kind and gentle men in my family and as a partner. which i think is as it should be - every woman should have men like this in their life. these men don't actively walk around hating women, however they do benefit from the privilege that being men gives them, and they fail to recognise it unless pointed out, partly because they themselves wouldn't treat a woman badly. but there are more powerful structures in place, which teach men that women are inferior, not worthy of respect unless they conform to the narrow definition allowed to them (and by conforming, also confirming their own inferiority).

this isn't about men walking around giving women evils. it's much more subtle than that

that was in response to andmyunpopularopionis

"I think woman are more powerful and could choose to bring up men who are not like this but fail as they can't get over their own in disappointed in the males in their lives"

why are only women responsible for teaching men not to be abusive?

I think 'despise' is the wrong word. I think a lot of men feel a generalised contempt and distrust, and behave as though women are an alien species.

There are around 3.5 billion men on the planet. Ish. It's a vast sweeping statement to declare all men hate women. It's simply not fair, and very discriminatory, to assume the worst of all men. How can you make that statement about an entire gender? That's the same as saying all women are money grabbers, whores, or some other inaccurate label.

All the discrimination I have encountered has come from women. All the bullying in the workplace I have seen has come from women. I was sexually abused and bullied by women as a child. There are MBAs with specialist courses on nurturing women with the intention to ensure they don't stamp and bully younger women trying to climb the ladder. I am wary of women as I'm waiting for them to gang up and turn on me which has been my experience. Does that mean I think all women are bitches, man eaters and out to get me? Not at all.

On the other hand I've never encountered men hating women. It has been to the contrary. XH hated himself which made him EA to me. And I had a twat of a boss once but he was awful to everyone so it wasn't just me that got singled out.

I'm not saying issues don't exist or that women are horribly abused or experiencing sexism. It's not right and should be challenged. I've heard stories of what my mum has gone through to be heard at work and taken seriously.

Globally, there are women in horrific situations where culturally they are routinely experiencing abuse, rape etc as the norm. It's part of a much wider problem though.

You only see a snapshot of activity on social media or in the news. It doesn't mean all men are at it though!

As a pp said, there is a delicious irony to this thread. Men hating women? It cuts both ways.

Sorry I should have amended I am wary of everyone be it man or woman. I have, however, sadly encountered more women hating women then I have men hating women.

Minus
How many of those prejudices exist to simply fit in and how many are real. And htitow often do you think men have these prejudices thrust upon them in order to be 'the mans man'

I agree that more often than not 'Nice guys finish last'. Also woman are known, not all woman , for loving the bad boy. The rebel, basically the arseholes of society who are often mean self centred pricks and then don't understand why he doesn't suddenly turn into the perfect nice guy when they, the woman, is ready for it.

"XH hated himself which made him EA to me"

If he abused you, he despised you. You have therefore encountered a man hating women.