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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Quick - advice needed please. How much of a bitch should I be?

87 replies

Metamorph · 10/09/2006 23:00

Was on holiday with DP and DD until last week. We were due to come back last Thursday. When the apartment became available for an extra week, DP decided to stay for this weekend. I had to get back for work, so I came back on my own on Thursday as planned (with massive suitcase, DD and pram.)

He's just called to ask if I can sort out his flight home.

He was too slack to get to the airport before last Thursday, so he just wasted his existing ticket - didn't change it.
He has no credit card and his money has now run out.
For a blessed change his parents have actually not bailed him out immediately.
He has a roof over his head and food in the apartment.

How long should I keep him waiting before bailing him out? this is a problem entirely of his own making.

OP posts:

Original poster

Metamorph · 10/09/2006 23:05

bump

OP posts:

Moomin · 10/09/2006 23:05

god that's a hard one because he'll need sorting out eventually, the silly arse, but the last thing i'd feel like doing is running to his aid. grrrrrrr. let him stew for as long as humanly possible. who will be more when he gets back: you or him? if it'll cause more hassle for you because he'll have a big face on him then maybe not leave it too long. if he has the decency to take his punishment meekly then keep him waiting as long as possible

Twiglett · 10/09/2006 23:07

just book him a flight .. is there one that leaves at 1am or something?

why on earth did you come back with DD .. why didn't you leave her with him?

Carmenere · 10/09/2006 23:07

Metamorph your dp is behaving like a child. Leave him there to sort out his own mess, unless you want to mother him for the rest of his life.

Cassoulet · 10/09/2006 23:09

Aren't you rather busy? I mean, you're at work and surely there's a big problem blown up while you were away which needs to be sorted out, your dd is a bit of a handful perhaps, isn't the house a bit of a mess too?!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe he could pull his weight a bit? Maybe he could make a few phone calls.... Maybe you could help him out in a day or so? How long is the apartment paid for?

Original poster

Metamorph · 10/09/2006 23:09

i like the way you're thinking Twiglett - he could manage a 1am flight, but he'd really struggle with a 9am one. (He's nocturnal)

Wouldn't have been fair to DD!!

OP posts:

ghosty · 10/09/2006 23:09

Answering your question in the title ...
On a scale of 1 - 10 of bitchiness ... you should be a 15 ...
I'd kill DH if he did that ... I would be a bitch of the highest order I'm afraid

VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/09/2006 23:11

Hmmm Twigs idea is a fab one

Twiglett · 10/09/2006 23:11

of course the only flight you would be able to book at such short notice will land in a city that isn't yours so you'll have to book him on a coach too

Twiglett · 10/09/2006 23:12

if you could manage a donkey ride to the airport from the villa ... no?

Original poster

Metamorph · 10/09/2006 23:12

oh you're making me feel so much better. I'm so soft and he's so good at manipulating us all. I know i really need to practice some tough love here.

OP posts:

Carmenere · 10/09/2006 23:12

What about a coach all the way home?

wartywarthog · 10/09/2006 23:13

let him sort his own mess out. he's an adult isn't he? his mummy evidently thinks he is since she's not bailed him out...

Blu · 10/09/2006 23:13

What a complete idiot!
Book him onto a 9am flight. - good idea. (he'll be forced to be grateful, too - tee hee!)

Original poster

Metamorph · 10/09/2006 23:13

Or even better, book him to return from southern Spain by coach.
That way, I won't have to see him til the weekend - added bonus!

OP posts:

Twiglett · 10/09/2006 23:14

well, if you ever need advice on how to be a bitch without seeming to be one

I'm yer marmite-flavoured snack

colditz · 10/09/2006 23:15

get him a flight to somewhere bloody miles away, but not yet. He has a roof, he has food. Nothing bad will happen to him. Let him stew for a bit.

Original poster

Metamorph · 10/09/2006 23:16

Wartwarthog I wish that were true - this is the exception rather than the rule re his mother.

OP posts:

Original poster

Metamorph · 10/09/2006 23:19

just an example - I always wondered why DP was left to sit watching TV while his Dad routinely loaded the dishwasher. Then a few weeks ago MIL revealed that she doesn't think DP knows how to do it, which is why she never asks him.

Because everyone else went to Dishwasher University FFS???

OP posts:

colditz · 10/09/2006 23:20

My dad is like that with me though. until I left home (AT 21!!!) he used to say before I left the house, every day, "Have you had a wash and brushed your teeth?"

Used to drive me wild!

wartywarthog · 10/09/2006 23:24

seems like his mum's fed up with him too! tough love - he's not gonna learn unless you make him sort out his own sh*t. how come he can just take another week off?

Original poster

Metamorph · 10/09/2006 23:27

because he doesn't work!

OP posts:

wartywarthog · 10/09/2006 23:27

why not? do you support him?

Original poster

Metamorph · 10/09/2006 23:31

absolutely not. His idiot parents do. I don't admit that to people in RL, because I know how stupid it makes me look, to be in an adult relationship with a 'child'.

OP posts:

wartywarthog · 10/09/2006 23:32

wow. is he the father of your dd?

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