I just cannot find my 'people' anywhere.

[mymoonandstars]

I suppose I should just write it as it comes out.

I have lots of friends. I have quite a good social life that if I wanted to take a more active role in, I could. But I just always feel on the fringes of friendships, the friend you always forget was there the time that funny thing happened. People talk over me. Someone will say something I just said and it will raise a laugh where as mine just fell flat. I have just returned from a night out where I felt like the most isolated person in the entire world. The things I like and enjoy are considered eccentric by the mainstream (alternative music, I don't watch television, I read ALOT) and I suppose I am essentially an introvert who would still like to 'get out there' but at times I just need to rest my soul.

I dont think I will ever find friends I can totally be myself with without at least some degree of checking myself. Anyone out there with any advice or who have similar feelings? I would be really happy to talk.

[ProfYaffle]

It's not on til December, such a shame.

[springydaffs]

I don't think putting others at ease in conversation is of primary importance, but AS important as making sure we're comfortable too. Which may not make some mc sorts entirely comfortable but it's the best I can do, I can't make interactions entirely about their styles and tastes and concerns (though it's good to bear in mind what they are).

Comfortable, entirely etc.

[GarlicJulyKit]

I think most people choose to feel comfortable, anyway. I was reminded of this recently, when an extended family member made a remark I thought was really off-colour. I said something like "you might want to find another way of putting that," and she carried on as if I'd just chuckled as expected. I heard her saying exactly the same thing to at least two other people.

We are often, I think, Totally Oblivious to stuff that doesn't compute with our personal world view. In therapy I learned to stop 'mind reading' and start listening hard - but I'm sure I still do reinterpret things as I go along, just because it's the easy option. Which is to say, Springy, it's doubtless more important to feel comfortable with yourself than to worry about others' comfort!

[unrealhousewife]

Cats is probably a very appropriate musical for the likes of us.