This is not right but I don't know how to change it

[HappyLandSpaceMan]

I have been in my current relationship for 6 years now. We have 2 dc.
He is not making me happy and his behaviour isn't right towards me. I do know that much. I don't want to be with him but I have no idea how to leave him. I need him to function, or that's how it feels anyway. I don't know how to make it all better.

Yes, you must take care of your basic health Happy.

He is not superhuman.

Though you're discovering a few superpowers of your own Seven days ago you couldn't leave ... now he's trying to keep up with you!

And you know what, he won't get you back in his cage, nor your children, because you have right on your side and he doesn't.

Use your support. xx

He always catches me up always

This time he's going to trip and fall. Hopefully very hard. I'm incredibly proud of you for getting the police involved, for going through it all when you are exhausted to start with. If it helps, exhaustion is a self-defensive measure taken by the body to minimise harm. It is an unconscious response, like hiding under the bedclothes. You need to fight this kind of harm consciously, so in some ways it feels like fighting yourself - but you aren't. This is the first time you've really fought him and you will win. You will be free. Then you can have a rest, breathe un-frightened air and blossom as You.

Your dc will thank you for this in time.

I adore you for this now.

Your thread is bringing tears to my eyes. Keep strong Happy, you are an amazing woman and much stronger than him.

Well he won't catch up with you when he's IN PRISON!

How are your kids Happy? Keep strong for them.

Well done honey you're doing incredibly well. These are tough days indeed, but they will pass.

Well done but you really DO need to get rid of that old phone, and make sure that you don't answer it/one again to him. And never underestimate these bastards. They are devious and will try every trick in the book.

Hope you and DC are sleeping safely, Happy.

Just another stranger wishing you luck Happy. x

You are an amazing incredible woman op.

Morning Happy, hope you are okay and you're getting the help you need.

Morning Happy.How has today started for you?

Hello
My sister got in touch today she is back in England, I am with her today
My dc are ok DS is still a bit ill dd seems ok, I just worry I have done the wrong thing
I am not feeling well in my mind at all but I am trying
Thank you for your messages I don't deserve all the lovely words x

please start to take in that you are worth good things. Your past has led you to believe you are not, but you really are it is really hard to start to listen to good things about yourself, it could be uncomfortable to start with but you can practice and as you do more it becomes easier. Try keeping a little journal and write down three good things for every day.

You will have 'wobbles' HAPPY but try and not let them in. Did you know your sister was around?

You have not done the wrong thing Happy, this man may have seriously hurt, or even killed, you if you had stayed with him. The self harming and other MH problems you are having have no doubt been caused or exasperated by him. You and your children have the chance now to live a healthier, happier life, grab it with both hands. I hope your sister is able to offer you some confidence boosting RL support and advice. We're all routing for you

Happy I hope you can really be honest and confide in your sister. You will feel so much better if there is someone you can do that with who supports you. After living with this so-called "man" you are bound to be frightened of doing things on your own, and even concerned for your own mental health!! He liked you that way; but you don't have to stay that way. You've done so much already, and you can do more but just one thing at a time. Don't look too far ahead at it all, just at one more thing.
And I really really recommend cjelh's suggestion of writing in a journal 3 good things each day. You will be surprised how much that helps. Good things do happen every day, and your children will do the cutest or sweetest things at times; write them down so you can remind yourself when you need a smile.
Here's a [hug] for you.

Yes, Happy, I did that too - writing down the lovely moments of each day. It's also constructive to include good things people say about you, and your achievements each day.

I'm delighted you're with your sister.

Please can you say whether you're still getting support from Women's Aid and the police DV officer? If your sis doesn't know about them, perhaps you can fill her in - and show her this thread if you're finding it hard to talk about stuff.

All my best wishes for a calm, summery Sunday.

You are doing amazingly.
You might be unsure but think of all the posters on here telling you you have done the right thing. Take courage from that. We can't all be wrong. And that's based on the snippets you have shared.

It will get better. This time next year you'll be buying bras, singing to songs on the radio, enjoying everything without someone sapping the joy from life. He has eroded your personality. And yet still, you've found it within you to rise again. Bloody amazing you are.

So glad you are safe Happy. The only thing you don't deserve is the treatment you have had from this man. He has taken so much from you but you will get stronger each day.

You sooooo deserve the lovely words.
Of course you are doing the right thing.
Do you want your DC in a house with a violent abuser and rapist?
Keep going for all your sakes.
Lean in your sister for support.
If she's not supportive then get away.
If you are struggling then see your GP and get some help.
Use every support possible.
Still cheering you on.
Keep going you amazing lady.
You deserve happiness.

You really haven't done the wrong thing so you can tick that off the list of things to worry about.

Glad you've seen your sister I hope she's been just as supportive as everyone on this thread.

Try not to give your ex too much thought. Concentrate on you and the dc. Hope you start to feel better soon x

You have NOT done the wrong thing, - you have so much done the RIGHT thing! Really! Getting out and away from someone who hurts you, abuses you, rapes you will always be the right thing.

Glad you are with your sister; hope she is helping you.

Morning happy.

Morning Happy - I've been away for a while, so have just been catching up on your thread.

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through something else horrible at the hands of this vile, pathetic excuse of a man. But I am absolutely amazed that you have had the strength of mind to do what needed to be done - reporting this piece of shit and getting him taken to where he belongs.

I'm so sorry that you had to undergo the examination, but it will hopefully help A L O T with your case.

You have in no way done the wrong thing. Many men who sexually and physically abuse their wives will move on to sexually and physically abuse their children. It's about keeping power over others.

Morning Happy, hope you had a nice day with your sister and dcs.

How are you feeling?