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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am i officially an idiot?

283 replies

lou33 · 05/09/2006 12:51

As some of you are aware, i split with exh in nov. I havent wanted any serious relationships, but am also not prepared to live like a nun, so i have had hook ups with people, where i made it clear that it was on my terms and just fun. There have been times when i felt the hook up was getting too attached so i have ended it there and then.

As some of you are also aware i have been seeing someone for the last month, and once again it started out with me saying it was nothing but fun, which it has been. However, last night i ended it with him, because i found myself starting to like him too much. I told him that as it was now starting to feel different to me, it wasnt fair on me or him to carry on seeing each other.

He says we should carry on having fun til he leaves next year to travel when he finishes the army, but i said the balance of the relationship is now not equal in my eyes.

We do have fun, we do get on, it's cheered me up enormously through a v difficult period of time, i like having him about at weekends. But i ended it. A male friend of mine last night said if i was a bloke he would call me a d*ckhead with the way i was behaving, that i was cutting my nose off to spite my face.

Soldier wants to still see me, but we wont this weekend, tho he has asked if he can come up overnight next weds to make up for it.

Am i being a twat or am i right to end it if my feelings have changed and i dont think his have?

Ugh at this!

OP posts:
lou33 · 11/09/2006 13:06

oh man, ok, he said he didnt know what he wanted to do, so i told him how i wanted it to be if we see each other again, and said when we speak later he has to decide if he can see me on those terms, or else we will call it a day now

i also said i wont wait too long for him to make up his mind because i want to move on somehow

OP posts:
lou33 · 11/09/2006 20:32

it's over

OP posts:
Sobernow · 11/09/2006 20:35

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lou33 · 11/09/2006 20:36

oh i'll live

onwards and upwards

OP posts:
Sobernow · 11/09/2006 20:40

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lou33 · 11/09/2006 20:40

i am a bit gutted tho, but i have a new date on saturday, so you never know, i might get over it easier than i think!

OP posts:
lou33 · 11/09/2006 20:42

i told him to let me go cos it wasnt fair , his dithering

OP posts:
Sobernow · 11/09/2006 21:06

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Sobernow · 11/09/2006 21:06

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Sobernow · 11/09/2006 21:06

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Sobernow · 11/09/2006 21:06

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lou33 · 11/09/2006 21:25

im not jumping anywhere in a hurry

this guy knows about the other, knows what went on this weekend, knows i am not going down the no strings thing again, and thinks the soldier is an idiot for letting it fall apart, but is thankful he has cos he is getting to see me

OP posts:
essbee · 11/09/2006 21:39

Message withdrawn

lou33 · 11/09/2006 21:40

thanks lovely lady

i only knew him 5 mins really, didnt i?

OP posts:
Dior · 11/09/2006 21:42

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lou33 · 11/09/2006 21:54

best i ever had!

OP posts:
essbee · 11/09/2006 22:20

Message withdrawn

lou33 · 11/09/2006 23:27

it was, it really was

still, the stand up comedian has been making me smile all evening on msn,and he is 6ft 2, yay!

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/09/2006 09:49

i feel a bit better this morning

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 12/09/2006 09:51

Glad to hear it, lou.

Onwards and upwards.

lou33 · 12/09/2006 09:52

i still feel miserable and bad tempered, but what's new!

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/09/2006 09:54

also meant to say we are definitely meeting on sat pm (me and comedy man), barring disasters and emergencies

OP posts:
lou33 · 12/09/2006 18:24

tell me not to message the soldier, he is online

OP posts:
Molesworth · 12/09/2006 18:30

I told you to block him!!!

PS sorry I missed your call, I am being a hermit today

lou33 · 12/09/2006 19:11

i didnt message him, but he has gone offline, which means he is unhappy, heh

nice new name!

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