Dating thread 76

[LoisPuddingLane]

As we were saying...

Oh I think I am silly.

I emailed him just to tell him I was feeling a little wobbly. He was so lovely.

I'm torn between wanting to tell you and not wanting to reveal his thoughts to the world!

I'm finding this whole love thing such hard work!!

At least those doubts are coming less often now.

Thanks all for your help. Again..!

jesy you might feel like you're back to where you were a year ago, but you're not really. You've travelled a long way since then...

Folk I think it is a really good thing that you can tell him that you feel a bit wobbly. I try to keep my insecure side hidden away.

bigbird that was exactly how I felt and I spent 2 days worrying about how I would tell him! As it turned out, he was as decent as your date and we have 'friended' on FB. I hope I'm not always this useless

Louby thanks for your advice - it only took me 2 days to put into practice. Did you set up the next date?

mags yes we're going bowling on Thursday. I dropped a hint that he was being a bit 'full on' and he's backed off now. I think he realised he was being a bit OTT!

I'm looking forward to seeing him again actually! And bowling is good fun, less intense and you see a different side of someone!

My little bit of good news..... long time lurker and I ve posted once or twice to get some advice on meeting someone new. Separated middle of last year and now almost divorced. In my 40's with great set of friends but little opportunities to meet anyone new (usual story - all friends married - too old for clubs - on line leaves me cold etc) ...but out of the blue it happened x3! Met three guys one after the other in the space of a couple of weeks just by being a bit brave and doing stuff. Went to a local book festival and sat in only empty seat on table of three guys, got chatting and had a couple of dates with one guy but we mutually decided it wasn't really going anywhere. Went to the theatre on my own cos I really wanted to see a play none of my friends did and ended up chatting to really nice guy on the next table at the interval. He's not at all 'my type' but actually he's a fantastic guy who treats me so well. I believe it's called a 'grower' as really like him and am having such a good time! (3rd guy just sat down next to me in a coffee shop and introduced himself and asked me out! I said no but .... He asked!) so.....just to say ......nice things can happen ......

Bless you folk. Hope you are feeling better now then. Just catching up with thread

Evening, was on the thread a while ago, some names on here I still recognise
Had a short relationship end of last year with Mr Tesco, didn't work out, just not the wow factor there.

Been back OD for a few weeks, had a few first dates, and was just meh about them.

Went out on Monday with, well let's call him Mr Finance, from the moment he walked into the coffee shop I thought wow.
Had a great chat, easy to talk too, we both laughed and smiled. Nice peck on the cheek at the end of the date, and pulled me in with my hand for it.

Had that warm fuzzy feeling since. He asked me for lunch, and going tomorrow!

Not made it to a second date for so long, I am beginning to panic. Only lunch date, so I was thinking of still quite casual. Skinny jeans type casual.

What about kissing... Oh god, so much to worry about!

Just managing to catch up with the thread on my break @ work!
Thank you everyone for your candid posts.....I'm reading and learning and feeling that it can happen for me if I could just let go and move forward.

mariposa.....I so know where you're coming from - same age (ish).....

And yet...... I felt 17 again with regards to my 1st love and the way things were going when we were back in contact. We were supposed to meet up at the end of this month; it was all sounding soooo exciting and of course, I had started to invest in something that was not yet a reality.

But it has been a month now since he 'disappeared'. I'm having to accept that despite everything that he said (and he said some very lovely things/made plans for us), something has stopped that from happening -and that something could be anything (mind is in overdrive).

I just wish I had some sort of closure so I can get on with meeting someone else but I don't know what to do about getting that without emailling and I am trying so hard not to email.......how do I stop myself? Advice greatly needed on that one (or maybe I just need a slap! )

I know I am ready to have a relationship since divorcing - I know I should just get on with meeting other people, be it OLD or otherwise.

Of course, it would've been so much worse had we met......

Milly

I was unemployed been recently dumped and no friends nothing has changed.
I don't think I can cope with that again, I hated my job and feel used by them, I was the 2nd choice but it money .

milly I do usually... But I realised I need to let myself be vulnerable in order to truly love and be loved. (or so my counsellor said... )

He has no idea of the extent of my insecurities. But he told me last night that he feels insecure, too, and always has done. I think he has kept them hidden from me, too.

Yes, thank you, mini

Thanks Effic, that gives me hope that there are dates outside of OD world!

Louby and ladygoing I'm liking the sound of those next dates. Let us know how they go!

Secretsquirrel - I so remember that focus on closure but even if you email you are very likely not to get a reply, or not one that gives closure....in the end you just let it go - for me it helped that I went Away on a very full on trip - but I still thought about him...still do from time to time but main sentiment now is bafflement....

Mariposaazul - if only I could just go away on a very full-on trip.....but I'm stuck in Blighty for now which makes it difficult to focus on other things.

I miss his emails and hate that horrible lurchy feeling every time I open the emails and he hasn't contacted me. Time will make it a little easier . I'm not moping......I can't anyway, as my DD would spot it at a thousand paces. It's hard not to be jealous though.....she's only 10 and got a proper written love letter in the post from a boy she's known since 6/12.....Gah!!

Occasional poster / lurker here!

I've had a break from old as can get a bit dispiriting now and again.

Now have a date this weekend with someone whose messages are very funny. We're supposed to be going to a comedy club though I'm not sure if that will make for a good date as can't imagine there is much opportunity for chatting.

I'm also chatting to someone else - we've been emailing for about a month, but he is so busy it's hard to find the chance, and I was ill on the 1 free date we found. But anyway, he seems to lead a glamorous exciting life and I'm a single mum with 2 primary aged children, a rather dull job and not much free time, so think our lives are just poles apart.

Folk am glad to hear things are going so well for you, wobbles aside.

Another occasional poster and lurker. Just need a break from this OLD sometimes. I have had few dates with Mr Cyclist he was really sweet but I did not feel the spark as he was so skinny, just could not get over that. Have potential lunch date with local hunky fireman, what a cliche and evening date on Saturday with a guy have been texting for a bit, he really makes me laugh so a good start.

Just have to give to give it another try, I turned 49 yesterday and had a totally miserable time, just don't want to be in this position 1 year from now.

So are there any happy ever afters you guys would like to share, does this ever work, feeling a bit down about it all right now.

Effic thanks for your post. It gave me some hope that it is still possible to meet someone in RL. I do hate this OLD with a passion .

Mr ? texted last night saying we could always meet up for a drink if I wanted to see a friendly face. He's so nice - why can't I fancy him??

Meal out with mr pof tonight. I'm going to try and take it back to one date at a time and chill out about it all (cue my desperate messages in a few days/hours) and sigh

What do people take 'seeing each other' to mean?

Minime I'd interpret that as being dating i.e. not yet a relationship but heading along that path and exclusive. Is that what he's said?

Well I have my second date with tall postman on Saturday, I enjoyed our first date and do like him but I'm not really that excited by the prospect of a second date. I'm hoping he's a 'grower' and maybe this is the kind of relationship I need as opposed to my ex who I was excited about who let me down and made me feel very insecure

I think I'm finally over the Scot... it's taken four whole months. I still don't want to be near another man but I feel quite content and interested in all sorts of stuff again. I hope it lasts; I couldn't bear another pining period to hit me. That was a hard hard slog to get through but having survived the break up with XH I knew I'd get there.

Beforeandafter glad you are feeling better. I asked what he saw 'this' as. He said it had moved on from dating and so guessed was seeing each other. We had exclusive conversation previously too.

It's just people at work were talking about dating generally and the way seeing each other is viewed is non exclusive apparently?! But this is coming from people in their early twenties. So I think I'm just old!

Pink I think it takes at least a second date to be sure one way or other if here is any mileage in it. Hope it goes well