Dating thread 76

[LoisPuddingLane]

As we were saying...

Yay! Louby! That's great to hear. Hopefully it'll be the start of something lovely.

So, I had date number 2 tonight with Mr? (Still can't think of a tag for him - might be a sign...).
It went fine, but didn't feel like a date at all. We had fun - went bowling and had some food - but that was it. I didn't feel special or excited or treated... Don't get me wrong - I'm not the sort of person who expects her date to turn up with flowers, pay for everything etc, but it did just feel like two mates spending some time together. Mags is this what it feels like for you too?
Since I got home he has sent me a text saying he enjoyed being with me. Which was nice of him to say, but didn't make me feel excited. If anything I'm now just worried that I'm leading him on.

folk so pleased to hear you have had a good weekend. Your bf does sound lovely. Very caring and considerate.

dont I think I need to get my head in to the same space you are. Oh - I'm getting a brace to fix my wonky teeth. Been wanting to for years but my Ex didn't want to waste the money. Now it is my choice

Go Louby!!

Do you think there would be a point in seeing him again, bigbird? Did you enjoy the date? You don't seem too keen.

I had braces aged 25 (I'm a bit obsessive about my teeth). I never regretted it. Go for it. One of the lovely things about being single is doing what you want, when you want. I'll be reluctant to relinquish that tbh. He'll have to be something very special.

Whoop whoop louby!

I had a date on Saturday with a man my own age, for once. Tall, good looking. We had a lot of fun and dinner, and then went to see a film. I thought this was good seeing as we only arranged to meet for a coffee. Then I got kissed on the cheek and I haven't heard from him since, not even a "It was lovely to meet you" text.

It's a bit disheartening really and what keeps coming back to me is that people always say to be yourself, and I am. But being myself seems never to result in a second date. Or just some sex and then nothing. So is being yourself a good thing? What if yourself is someone people don't want?

Lois - Maybe you should text him to say you had fun on Saturday and would like to see him again. It was only two days ago, so perhaps he was busy yesterday.

I know everyone expects instant texts or messages these days due to technology and then gets the hump when nothing happens for a day or two, but I always try to remember back to what we all would have done before mobile phones and the internet. If it were still the good old days of landlines only, he probably would be phoning you a few days later on this week.

Yeah, I guess. I can't actually remember what it was like pre-mobiles! Weird, isn't it.

"What if yourself is someone people don't want?"

You will be what somebody wants Lois, but you might not have found them yet.

"Just be yourself" is a bit vague and unhelpful in some ways but it basically means if you don't like table tennis and the person you're dating does, then don't pretend that you love it and are really good at it.

I've always wondered about the "being yourself" thing though - presumably Ted Bundy was being himself, and he wasn't someone you'd want to date :)

Ted Bundy took the 'Just Be Youself' thing a bit too far.

He did a bit. :)

Well I've certainly got a name tag for my date last night it's Mr Keen because he really is keen! I'm trying to take it as a compliment and not be put off.

He's text me good morning and that he woke up smiling! We're seeing each other again on Thursday and he's text again to say he can't wait - we're going bowling! I'm really flattered by his compliments but I certainly don't feel as 'bowled over' as he does after a 2 hour date!

Trying not to over think this and just take it as it comes!

Hello dating thread
I'm not sure if I'm even dating so thought you lot could help me.
Background - STBXH left a year ago, 2 small DC. Had rebound fling, feel much better about myself.

I see a fellow runner out a lot and fancied him for ages. Found out where he lives. Got chatting. He's older, 12 years, he admitted to recently beginning 'seeing someone'.

I sent a card with my number, he texted. Little bit of chat. Then met out running. More chat. And once again. Then very impromptu meeting at my house one eve. This has now happened three times, last two pre arranged.

I'm terrified to move in for a kiss because I fancy the pants off him. He's older, he's supposedly seeing someone but he has arranged two of the evenings

Do I just chill and let it progress? Not much contact, odd texting, odd bumping into each other? Am I supposed to have snogged him after three evenings with wine??

Bloody dating. I've a lot to learn.

louby sounds exciting!!

I need some advice... been seeing someone for a month now, lets call him Mr gardener I think I'm really starting to fall for him... he's lovely, funny, sweet, totally fine about the kids. We just spent a lovely weekend together and today he sent me some flowers. Just one thing is bugging me. I deleted my POF profile the other day. I mentioned it to him on Sun in passing (we were talking generally about a friend of his on another dating site) and he went 'ooooh' and grinned... I made a joke about how I was sick of my phone sending me alerts to say I'd got yet another message that just said 'hi' ( which is true and something we had joked about on our 2nd date) and he just said 'oh well I never get messages on there anyway'. He didn't offer to take his profile down and I can see it is still on there- no way to tell when he was last online.

We have kind of had the exclusivity chat, and we've been talking about things like him meeting the kids, making plans for in a few months time etc... he should really take it down, right? Or will I sound like a stalker if I ask him to?

Welcome! Why don't you just ask fellow runner if he's single or not! Than you know where you stand! Bite the bullet and ask.

Louby based on the general experience of this thread that Love Bombing business seems to be a sign of someone who fades out as fast he latches on. Enjoy it but keep your wits about you and take care that he is really is a long haul guy...

Hmmm, I might have been guilty of the old Love Bomb/Fade Out behaviour on occasion

avocado yes he maybe should have taken it down. Maybe have the talk again!

before I've never heard of that! Love bombing! To be fair I don't know what I want regarding any relationship anyway, so if he fades into the distance I will just carry on with my life.....

I am very flattered by him, he said he couldn't stop looking at me! I don't know if he says that to all the women he meets (although he did say OLD has been a complete disaster for him), who knows.

But he was nice/normal/interesting enough to see again. I don't think I saw his real personality as he said he was so nervous.

Bowling should be a bit more relaxed and fun, less intense. Watch this space!

I acquired a Love Bomber once. I was a goddess for a couple of weeks and then it got right on my tits being up on such a high pedestal... honestly, you just stop believing them. He was shown the door pretty pronto.

It is vairry naice to get compliments though, but too many are just as bad as too few...

"I might have been guilty of the old Love Bomb/Fade Out behaviour on occasion"

Probably everyone has. I know I have in the past because it's exciting when someone likes you and you like them; you can get caught up in it and race away a bit. Sometimes it can't be helped.

Feeling a bit pants. I can't do this dating thing very easily at all. I invest emotionally as I can't just have sex with someone and that be it. I wish I didn't invest so soon. I need to pull myself back as I know I'm feeling more than him and a) I don't want to make an idiot of myself and b) I don't want my heart broken.

Told mr pof I was falling for him. I know I am. I feel so stupid now but equally glad I've said it as it's almost released like a pressure valve on things for me. I'm my own worst enemy.

I am the same Minime - I had one belated attempt at a fling & realised disastrously that even at my advanced age (50s) I still couldn't do it without emotion...it's like being a teenager again! A rollercoaster of emotion (& usually disappointment....)

I find it hard too. I'm trying not to sleep with anyone these days (until I'm a bit sure) because I get so upset when it all goes wrong. I want so much to LOVE someone and be LOVED. And that is so hard to find.

My date on Saturday no longer has an account on OKC. Hm.